Burnout breakthrough week 6
[00:00:00] Hello my friends, and welcome to another episode. I'm so excited to have you Here we are in the process of. Going through my Burnout breakthrough accelerator that I originally put on for my students in the Quitter Club, my paid membership, I figured I would bring it to the podcast. If you are listening to this episode, then you have missed a couple.
You can go back and listen to those. But we will continue every week to play one of the classes that will teach you a pillar of, getting out of burnout, right? A skill that you need in order to take back your life and have a little bit more time and joy and control. We'll go through all six weeks and you don't have to master all of them, you don't have to know all of them, you don't have to apply all of them, but you can pick up one or two skills that will help alleviate a lot of the pressure that we all tend to put on ourselves.
So I hope you enjoy this. We're gonna jump in and continue with our burnout Breakthrough [00:01:00] Accelerator.
Hello my friends. Welcome to our final week. Well, I guess that's not true. It's the final week of teaching in our six weeks of the Burnout Breakthrough Accelerator. Why I say that's not true is because next week we will do a final call on coaching on all of the stuff. I know we have asked kind of questions and.
And you guys have an open coaching call, but I wanted to do one specific coaching call for this six weeks of burnout breakthrough. And so please come next week and bring all of your questions.
But if you have, if you're trying to implement this stuff and it's not working or you get stuck or you don't even know where to start, you're kind of overwhelmed by all of 'em or whatnot. Please bring it to the coaching call next week and we'll talk about it today In our sixth and kind of final installment, we, I feel like we finally get to the fun things, to like, get rid of burnout.
I feel like five weeks was like everything that was sort of hard. Everything that was, you know, it's, it. In the end a very beautiful thing, but it's really hard to do in the [00:02:00] short term when you're going through it, delegating things, cutting things out, saying no to people, dropping your manuals.
All of those things require a little bit of work, in the beginning when you're doing them. But we're finally at, in the last week at the place where hopefully the lesson for today is, brings you joy because that's the entire point of it. This week we will talk about living your dream life now.
And the reason I say this is that there is no getting out of burnout. There is no getting out of this feeling that so many of us have that's like, this can't be it. My life cannot be just wake up every day, do a bunch of shit I don't want to do, take care of everything I have to take care of, go to bed and wake up the next day.
And there's a reason so many of us feel. So, unfulfilled and not even unhappy. Like, I think unhappy is not the right word, but like joyless, like there isn't really much change in our day to day. There isn't a lot of things. It's very [00:03:00] monotonous. And yes, we have a couple things. We all have things to look forward to, like a vacation or holidays are coming or my birthday or whatever.
Those are great and those tend to keep us going, but what am I doing in the day to day, right? And I wanna. Talk about how we change, how we think about our lives, and very simple things that you can do that have very huge impact. I think they don't seem, it seems very mundane but it is the thing that will change really how you approach your life.
Sarah says, oh my gosh, yes. I have that thought all the time. That every day is just full of things I don't wanna do. For most of it us it is because, I don't know. That's what adulting is. That's the society we've created for ourselves. And I think that it's good to acknowledge. I think a lot of times, like what's fascinating is that most of us spend all day doing things we don't wanna do, and then we tell ourselves that we're not consistent and we're not disciplined, and we're not, um, you know, we're like, we beat ourselves up that we're not good at [00:04:00] that stuff.
And it's like. Look how consistent and disciplined we are. We're constantly doing crap. We don't have to do just to take care of ourselves and our kids and our spouses and our parents and everything else. Like we are very responsible. Adjusted humans that learned how to survive in this, in this kind of society, and that's something to be proud of.
But I think along the way, we forget that. Joy and laughter and rest and fun is not a part of it, then what is the point? And so that's what we wanna, I wanna talk to you guys about today. One of the concepts that I want you to just understand, and it's a very simple concept, but I think that we forget it is like, your life is happening today.
This is it right now. There is no, like, you know, the future and the past are in our minds. They don't exist and there is no like. Stockpiling of joy. There is no like, oh, I'm just gonna, hunker down and then when I get there, that type of thinking of when I get there [00:05:00] has robbed more people of their lives than anything else.
This idea of like, I can finally kick up my feet. So many of us are like working for retirement, and it's like you're gonna work for 25, 30 more years in order to then maybe enjoy your life a little bit. It's an absurd way to think about life and we have to change it. You have to really get down to it is not perfect.
Your life is not perfect. It will not be perfect. There's tons of things you're gonna wanna get done. There's tons of things you're gonna have to do fine. And like a big, and, and I can enjoy it here, even in my imperfect brain with my imperfect brain and my imperfect body and the, you know, all the imperfections that I have.
Yeah. Even if in a job I don't love, even in relationships that kind of drain me, whatever it is, with the money that I have, with the time that I have, I can enjoy it now. And I think that we all have to, like, you're gonna, your brain is gonna keep going [00:06:00] to, okay, but once I finish this, once the deadline is done, once I get through the summer and the kids go back to school, once I, you know, like, and you just have to bring it back.
It's like, no, what is today? This is all I have. It's gonna keep passing, right? So what can I do today that can bring a little bit of joy? So again, the couple of concepts that I want you to understand is like one that your life is now that this, in this season, whatever this season is, even if this is a hard season, even if this is a season of transition, even if this is a season of like a lot of confusion, there is still time for joy and rest and fun and play every day.
Okay? And it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I think a lot of us really think that like all of this stuff has to take, you know, it's like when I go on vacation and I'm completely unplugged. Well that doesn't happen, more than one or two times a year, or three times a year. What? However much it happens or it happens for a day and you know, [00:07:00] we get a couple days off and then we're back in it.
So how do we create a life where. A lot of this, the stuff that we want is a part of it every single day with the craziness of life, with work and the demands and everything else. Okay? And so I want you to do two things. There's two assignments for this week. Super easy, both of them. And I want you to really take in, um.
Take the time to do both of these because they're, there's a lot of bang for your buck. Like it doesn't take that much time and it actually makes a lot of things really clear. So the first thing you're gonna start with is, I just want you to write out what your dream day would look like if you had everything ideal in what you wanted.
Let's say you had all the money in the world. You had the means to have the, the dream day that you want. I'm not talking about like a unique day where you're going on vacation. It's like, well, I'd go to the Maldives and stuff like, great, those are like fine, but like what would your day to day look like?
And you don't have to know what you're doing for work. You don't have to like [00:08:00] understand that. Like I just want you to get a little bit of like, what time am I waking up? How am I waking up? Like am I waking up you know, maybe you're an early riser and it's like I get up and I do my yoga and then I have a coffee and my breakfast out outside somewhere.
Um, maybe it's that I get to sleep in and I don't have a. An alarm set ever. And I get to sleep as much as my body needs, and then I get up and I get to enjoy my coffee while I read, and then I get to, you know, whatever. Like go through your whole day, what does it look like? Who are you hanging out with?
What are you doing right? What is your, maybe I'm having some phone calls with some friends and I'm connecting, or I meet up with a friend for coffee and um, then I get to go volunteer at an animal shelter because I love being around animals. You, you get the point. If you didn't have to worry about your day to day of your, your, the current life that you have, what would that dream day look like?
One of the things that's sort of eye-opening [00:09:00] about this is that a lot of it is very doable. Maybe not every day, but it's stuff that doesn't require, it's not like I'm getting on a private jet and I'm. Flying to, you know, New York to get a croissant. Like that's not something I dream about. You know, like, yeah, maybe one time, like, would that be a cool experience?
Let's say, I don't know, whatever, maybe, but like on my day to day, what do I want? I just want some more peace. Like, I would live a day where like I don't have to like get up with an alarm and I get to sleep as much as I want, and I get to start my day slower and I get to have a cup of coffee while I read.
Like, this isn't my personal dream day, by the way. Like, Lizzie says, is, is dream workday or dream free day? Great question, Lizzie. You could do both. You can do both. But because workday tend to not be dream days for people, we can leave out that you can even do like a dream day. That's just a non-work day, right?
The reason I want you to do this is because I want you to see first of all what you're craving, right? So for me, maybe it's just slowness and I'm craving [00:10:00] more time to myself and I'm craving more. Like I can extract that. Like this is the stuff that I want more of. Right? For some of you, it might be like, I'm not saying I highly doubt anybody in this, but like then I go clubbing and I want like, you know, I'm like, okay, maybe you want some more like spontaneous or like I'm jumping out of an airplane.
I don't know, maybe I don't know what people's dreams are, but you can sort of extract what do I feel like I'm missing that like that is in this dream day that I don't have in my life. Maybe it's connection, right? Maybe it's like I throw a beautiful dinner party and I have my closest friends come over and I get to make like really beautiful meals.
'cause I love cooking and that's sort of my happy place. And I get to, you know, I, I like, you know, I started out at the farmer's market and I get to. Buy like the most amazing produce from this season. And Okay. Like kind of understand what is it about that brings me joy that I don't feel like I get right now in my day-to-day life.
And I think that part of it is [00:11:00] questioning, why can't I do some of this stuff? After you write that down, it's not about, am I gonna have that dream day every day? No. But a lot of the stuff that I dream of is not stuff that's outside of my reach. It's not stuff that's too expensive. It's not stuff that is not doable.
It's simply that like, you know, when I started doing this work, I realized like, okay, yeah, maybe every day I can't wake up without an alarm 'cause I have to wake my kids up to go to school. But like on the Saturday and Sunday, I can, and I still don't let myself, because I have thoughts about like, no, you should get up.
No, you should do this. , It's stop being lazy. You should get up and like, go for a run or whatever. And it's like, no, but what if I shouldn't? What if like my way of really enjoying my life is letting myself, , maybe I start with one day and it's like just Sundays I get to sleep and nobody wakes me up, you know?
And I talk to my family about it. , Hey, I want one day where. You don't come in and wake me up, like you go downstairs, like my kids go and watch a cartoon until I get up. Let's just say that's like what I want. I know again, for me, one of the things that was really eyeopening was like [00:12:00] I just really wanted to start my morning slow.
Like I wanted to have a cup of coffee and read a book that isn't related to work. And normally what I would do is like, get the kids up, everybody's running around. I got my coffee, I'm already late, I gotta sit down, I gotta do emails. And again, it was so absurd because like I work for myself. Nobody's telling me I have to do that, but I just was, because that's what everybody does and that's what you're supposed to do.
And oh my God, I have a. Bunch of emails I have to get to and I have to do, and I was like, no, we're gonna do 15 minutes of taking our book downstairs and reading and drinking our coffee in peace. There is no race. Nothing's happening. There'll be more to-dos when I get there. I don't need to wait until I have this, um, perfect life. I can do that now. As you go through your dream day, there's a lot of things that you'll start noticing, like, okay, maybe like I said, if it's connection that like maybe in my dream date, it includes having all of my friends together, let's just say.
Okay. [00:13:00] That's like a really good piece of information to understand. Like that's where a lot of my happiness maybe comes from is being around a lot of people. And for some of you, it might be the exact opposite. It's like my dream day is I don't see another soul and I'm just like walking in a forest by myself.
I go for a walk, I come home, I take a bath, you know, whatever. Great. If that's it, then like how do I incorporate that once a week in my life? Not all of it, just parts of it. Okay. So you're gonna do this dream day and then. After you do that, you're going to make a list that I call the Bliss List.
It's my bliss list. Like I constantly reevaluate my bliss lists and I want you to just start with 10. Sometimes it's hard to come up with things. I promise you, as you do this, you'll start coming up with a lot of other stuff and you can keep adding to it. Just come up with 10 things that bring you joy, that like bring you a little bit of bliss every like in your day-to-day life.
Okay. That might be enjoying a hot cup of coffee in peace. [00:14:00] That might be reading a book, that might be going for a walk, that might be taking, you know, a dance class or an exercise class or whatnot. Could be, like I said, having coffee with a friend or calling a friend and having a conversation. It could also be big things by the way.
Like, I'm not saying you can't do things that cost money, but um, I think oftentimes what I've noticed is that a lot of the stuff that brings us. Kind of sustain joy in the day to day are not things that we really have to pay for. Maybe it's like a hot bath or a hot shower at night. You know, whatever it might be for you.
And maybe it is something that you have to pay for. Maybe it's like going to a local coffee shop every day and getting a, or getting like a nice sweet treat with my coffee and sitting there for an hour and people watching. Maybe that's what brings me bliss. Okay. Because one of the things you're gonna start doing is, how can I incorporate something from my Bliss list every day?
And part of what you do when you do this, again, a lot of this stuff is [00:15:00] just bringing awareness to what we already do. Right. It's either bringing awareness to all the stuff we were doing like in, in week one, where it's like we were doing the to-do list that we wanted to get rid of. It was just bringing awareness of all the things I think in my head, every day I should do.
I'm just like becoming conscious of it so I can see how absurd it is so I can change it. With this, we're just bringing awareness and c. To a lot of stuff that we already do. What's funny is a lot of things are already on your bliss list that you're doing every day, but we're so rushed in our life that we're not like slowing down to actually enjoy it.
Like for me, again, when I was noticing like the coffee thing, I was just kind of gulping down my coffee as I was working, which I say, by the way, as I'm drinking coffee while I work. So I'm not saying that you have to be perfect at this. Today was a morning or I didn't get to enjoy it before, but. I started realizing like I truly just love, like, actually like the taste of coffee and the ritual of making the coffee and like sitting down and like having a warm.
[00:16:00] Substance, like calms me down a little bit, and so I started really thinking about like, I'm already doing this every day. How can I be more present to it? How can I do it in a way that is actually like the joy of it comes back to me instead of just like, now it's just become part of a routine.
Like I have to have my coffee. Is it that I sit down with my book? Is it that I sit down with nothing? Is it that like. I go and sit outside in my backyard and I just sit in like the open air under the sun in the beginning of the day, and I enjoy this cup of coffee. Might be different things every day, but it's simply like, I'm already doing this.
How can I sort of have the most joy when I'm doing this? Right. And I think that like when I started making these lists, I started realizing like, oh, I can do a lot of these things every day. It's not even just one, it's like 3, 4, 5 things. If it's going for a walk. If I know that that brings me a little bit of peace in the day and a little bit of calm, then like it becomes more of a priority instead of like, when my brain goes like, ah, no, like there's just a lot going on.
The kids need help with their homework. And you know, like it's not the [00:17:00] time after dinner. Like everybody is kind of around. I, it's easier for me to realize like, no, this is actually a really big it doesn't seem big. It seems like a 20 minute walk around the neighborhood, but to me is a big thing. It helps settle me.
It helps calm me down. It helps like, gimme some clarity, gives me some peace from the incessant. Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. So funny. I've like, I, I've drawn like so many boundaries around it. Like my daughter constantly wants to come with me on my walks and I'm like, no, I love you and no. You're gonna stay home with dad while I go for 20 minutes because the whole point of this, like I don't wanna, we can go on another walk together as a family, but like this is the time that I need to be able to just like in the middle of the day or the middle of the before bedtime routine and all that other stuff to just calm down.
And so that's on my B list list and it's something that I go back to. Okay, so the entire point of this. Is figuring out how do I, instead of waiting until my life is perfect, [00:18:00] how do I find more joy and more bliss and more ease and more fun and more rest? Doesn't matter what it is for you in my day to day life.
If on your bliss list is taking a nap or, um, resting for 20 minutes, like just laying down and reading a book, great. If that's what you need in order to kind of, calm yourself down. Let's say you come back from work and you're like, I would love if I could come home from work and just give myself 30 minutes of scrolling my phone on the couch.
I actually just want to not numb my brain a little bit before I jump in to everything that I have to do at, at home. Okay. Then do it intentionally, right? Then give yourself that space. Then know that that is like how you're taking care of yourself so that you can then show up for the next four hours with, you know, everybody at home or whatnot.
When you start becoming really more intentional about like, these are the things that really comprise of my dream life. These are the [00:19:00] things that comprise of a dream day. These are the things that bring me joy or create more fun in my life. It's easier to make them a priority as opposed to just like, well, yeah, it'd be nice to just enjoy my cup of coffee.
It'd be nice to go for a walk. It would be nice, but I can't. And it's like, yeah, you can. You really can. All of you have the ability to do a couple of things every single day that prioritizes your own happiness. And until you do that, then you, you can't burnout's inevitable. If you're never taking the time to enjoy anything.
If you're only kind of doing it like, okay, I, I have to push through all week. Maybe on the weekend I can numb out a little bit or I can, and then I'm gonna feel guilty about it or I'm gonna think I shouldn't have done it or whatnot. There it's not a surprise. While so many of us are deeply unhappy 'cause like we're waiting for some day to be able to do it.
And so. I want us to just start small. You can obviously take this, like part of this stuff is like dreaming [00:20:00] bigger and having as you go through this, like your dream day might change and that's great. Creating more space and having more fun. But until you do that, we're gonna start small. And it's like, what are just some, a couple of small things I can do every single day. What can I be present to that I'm doing already? What can I really extract all the joy from and like really sit and like how beautiful it feels to like have a hot cup of coffee.
So that's your assignment this week, your dream life and your bliss list. Simple, but actually like extremely effective. I think that, yeah. For all the boundaries and all the other stuff, and eliminating this might have more of an impact than a lot of other things, right? Where it's like, can I just find some space to have fun and to do something that I love?
Any questions? Lizzie's saying, I love this assignment. I love this assignment too. I think it's the most fun assignment. Anybody have any questions or [00:21:00] clarifications, concerns? Or coaching all the Cs?
Nope.
All right. Well. That's all I got for you actually this week. We did keep it really short. It's the first week in six weeks that I wanted to keep it short and I actually did. So this one is straightforward, but it only works if you actually do it. So don't just think about it and think about like, oh, well maybe.
Yeah, I kind of like drinking my coffee too. I want you to really think about what would bring me joy. During my lunch break, like maybe it's actually taking a lunch break and going outside and eating your lunch. There's such little tweaks that you could do to find so much more joy in a day. And I think we just get caught in like, well, it's easier.
It's easier to just sit at my desk and answer emails. It's easier to, knock on the walk. But is it easier if it ends up burning me out? Like is it easier in the long run if I'm miserable and hate my life? Like of course it's not. So like maybe I make it a little more difficult in the day to day and I.
Inconvenience people or I do things [00:22:00] that might take a little bit longer on the backend because I took some time for myself, but I actually like, enjoy going through my day. Yeah. All right. My friends. That's what I got for you for week six.
I hope that this was helpful. I'm glad you guys liked it. Okay. Bye friends.