Hey, welcome to Lessons from a Quitter, where we believe that it is never too late to start over. No matter how much time or energy you've spent getting to where you are. If ultimately you are unfulfilled, then it is time to get out. Join me each week for both inspiration and actionable tips so that we can get you on the road to your dreams. Hello my friends and welcome to another episode. I am so excited you are here.
This is an exciting week at the Quarter Club headquarters because we are opening our doors to the club. I haven't opened them in three months I think maybe, and it's also special because we are opening for our annual discount. So if you don't know, my Quitter Club is my monthly membership where we do this work in depth together where you get the coaching, the tools, the worksheets, the videos, the community, the podcast, all the things that you need to really apply this thought work and start changing your life.
And typically when I open it, it's open for monthly at $197 a month, which comes out to about $2,400 for the year to really do this work and start changing your life. But twice a year now, I'm going to offer a yearly discount. If you join for the whole year, you will get it for a thousand dollars, which is more than 50% off and an insane price. It basically comes out to 80 something dollars a month, which is less than what you would pay when you go out to eat one night. And the reason I do this is because I want to give people that want monthly an option, an option. If you wanna come in, check it out, see what it's about, take a peek around. But the reason I wanna encourage people to do this work for a year is because I would be lying to you if I said, this is something that you can just pop in and everything's gonna be fixed in a month.
It doesn't work that way. And I don't want to set you up for that failure and for you to think like something is wrong with you or you're just not getting it. This is like a gym and it requires reps. It requires you to consistently put in the work. And when you do, you start seeing the results. And so I really encourage everyone to make a commitment to themselves for the whole year, to pick a goal to work on for one year and give yourself the time to be inconsistent to fall off and get back up and do it again. To learn things slowly, to not have to get everything done in one week. Doors will be open if you're listening when this podcast comes out on April 23rd until the 30th. So for this week, you can get the special rate of a thousand dollars for a year.
You will not have access to this rate for another like six months. So stop putting it off. Why would you spend another six months suffering when you can start changing your life and your mind? You can go to lessons from a quitter.com/quitter club to get all the information and sign up. I hope to see you in the club and I especially hope to see you so that one day you can be on the podcast. Because today we're gonna talk to three of the club members who adore and who make the community so much better. And the reason I wanted them on the podcast is because I can tell you all of the benefits that you can get from it. And I sometimes struggle with how to really explain what this work does in your life. And so I figured what better way than to talk to some people that have used this work to change their life.
And what I love about our guests today is that they've all used it in really unique and special ways. Whether that's to start a business, whether it's to transition jobs, whether it's to start creative projects, this work in your life or in your career, it's really just figuring out like what is my next goal and how do I use thought work and this work to kind of get me there. And so today I am joined by Isabelle, Megan, and Henry and I will let them kind of tell you their stories and what work they've been doing in the club. And hopefully if you decide that you are ready to join them and you hear kind of the time, the commitment they make to working on themselves and the results that they're seeing and you see that it is absolutely possible for you too, I hope you join us at lessons from a quitter.com/quitter club. All right, without further ado, let's jump in and talk to some quitters. Hi you guys, thank you so much for joining me. I'm so excited to talk with you all today. I would love if you all just take a moment to introduce yourself and tell us a little bit about you and sort of what led you to joining the Quit Club.
Uh, well my name is Isabelle and I joined the Quit Club. Oh my goodness, like over a year ago now. And the reason I joined is because I really wanted to leave my full-time job and I had no idea how to do it . I didn't know where to start and I knew I needed help and I knew you were the person to do it with me. I was one of your original OG listeners to your podcast . And so I already knew what you were about. And yeah, so it was an easy sell for me.
And what do you think was like stopping you from kind of when you were saying you didn't know how to leave your full-time job, what do you think the biggest block was?
The biggest block now if I look at in hindsight was like Oh my goodness, what's everybody gonna think? Like I'm crazy. The second biggest block is, oh my gonna pay for rent . It was like a money thing. And the third biggest block was honestly just how do I start? What do I do? And I thought that it had to be this big change.
I love that. So I mean we're gonna fast forward a little bit. Why don't you give us a little bit of where this year in the quarter club has kind of taken you? What has happened since you've
Joined? Oh my goodness. I basically was in a full-time job that I really did not like and it was actually making me Ill like mentally exhausted and fast forward to now I have my own business, my own clients. I set my own roles, super excited every day to jump into work. I know that sounds ridiculous, people used to make me sick when they said that, but it really is. I have all the flexibility I want. I could work from wherever I want. I don't have to do meetings anymore, which I couldn't stand basically it, it's not easy, it's definitely scary. But I am so happy I did it. So it's taken me about a year to get here.
I love that so much. Why don't we go to you Henry, 'cause your journey has been a little bit unique and now you're back in the club. So I would love to hear why you joined and tell us a little bit about kind of your journey here.
Yeah, so my sister actually initially got me onto listening to the podcast.
What a smart sister. I
Know. She's so smart. She was like, you need to check this out. Because I've had quite a few jobs uh, that have been very toxic. She was enjoying it and she was sharing it with me. So I'm enjoying it. And it wasn't until I was gonna relocate for a new job that I was like, I think that I need to invest in me. That is 100% how I was viewing it 'cause it was a big time commitment, but it's a financial commitment as well. And this was the first time that I had done anything that was coaching related to me and my career, which is wild to think about 'cause I'm like of course. Yeah, everyone needs this encouragement, this community. But yeah. Uh, so I got into it, it was the first year of my new job and it led me to really get involved in my creative side.
What I was wanting to do was not necessarily quit my job, I was wanting to start working on writing. So not necessarily a side hustle, but something within that realm. And what was so wild was that you did the whole, you only get one goal and I'm like oh. So I did the fitness thing, which is not what writing was. Yeah. But it then led me on this like creative journey where I then got into doing voice lessons and then I started auditioning and I did a musical over the summertime. So it was like not where I was planning to go, but it definitely was filling that creative venture. And then I moved again and that just got a little too crazy. So I had to hop out of the group and that was a really hard winter not to winter with the community. So then when it came back around to February, that's when I reached out to you and I was like, okay, I need the group again. I need to get the community back. I need that support system. Yeah. So that was kind of my journey.
I love that your journey is such an important example of the fact that like a lot of this stuff isn't about even, you know, just handling the job but like really taking stock of what do I want in my life? What's missing? And I know for you it was like a lot of this creativity and having these creative outlets, so many of us put that stuff on hold because we don't have time and we're adults. And it's like when you tap into that, not only what happens but the joy it brings back in your life and how much easier it makes work. And so watching you thrive with that and and start finding this outlet again, that was such a big part of your life with writing and the theater stuff was so amazing to watch. The thing with the club and the reason I actually even made a membership was for this exact reason that for so many of us, it's not about getting to some destination and being like, I'm, I'm cured.
I don't have negative thoughts anymore. Right. That is never gonna happen. And for so many of us it can be like, okay, maybe I feel like in a good place and then I go and then when I don't feel like it or I need more support or I just don't wanna do it alone. Like I wanna have these conversations, I wanna have this in my ear. I wanna constantly think about thought work. And so I loved when you know for everybody like Henry reached out and was just like, I left the community. I wanna be back in. Please let me back in. And I was like, listen, anytime, come back. We'd love to have you. And I love that you recognized that. You were like, you know what, this has been like a hard winter and I want that support. And going from when you were like, oh, this is the first time I invested, to now realizing like, hey, this is an important part of my life because it adds to my happiness and how I experience this life.
Well I appreciate you mentioning it. Like it was a big step to come back because it was, and I'm such a people pleaser and a perfectionist. And so for me it's always, everything has to be perfectly aligned. And also I come last and everything. So for me to be able to then come to a point of like, okay, I've already learned this lesson and now I have to relearn this lesson, teach myself again. So it was a little humbling. And then being like, no, I do need the community. I do need these things. These things were successful for me and what I was trying to do. So that is why I need to do it. So it was a really big moment for me to reach out to you and be like, please let me back in
. But even that is like such an important lesson because we have these shoulds of like, oh, I should have figured it out by now. I swear I coach on this once a week because people are like, well I've already asked you this, I know I should know this. And I'm like, no you shouldn't. 'cause if it was one time you'd only have to listen to the podcast and you wouldn't need any other help. Like the whole point of this, it's like a gym, right? You're not like, oh I, I know I should walk. I did it once. So what's hap you know? No, you have to keep doing it to get the benefits of it. Right. And so even recognizing that like when your brain is sort of trying to shame you into this like perfectionist, you like, oh, I already left so I shouldn't reach out to her.
Or I shouldn't try to go back. Or maybe it says something about me and be like, no, I want help. Like I did the best thing for me at that time. Maybe when I was like, you know what? I'm complete right now. I'm ready to go out on my own. Great. And then when I'm like, Hey, I actually would love support right now. Like I can also give that to myself is just so important. So bravo. It's like a way of chipping at that perfectionism and that people pleasing and being like, I don't have to listen to these voices that tell me I have to do it right all the time. So I love that Henry last but definitely not least, Megan, why don't you tell us about how you sort came to this work, why you joined the club, what you were hoping to get and sort of what's happened for you.
Sure. So I live in New York. I work in New York City, you know, decent commute. So I listened to a variety of podcasts. I happened upon your yours and I just, everything just resonated with me immediately. I just, mm-Hmm, loved your approach. I loved your tone, I liked everything that you were saying. And then you opened the Quitter Club like that fall mm-Hmm. . And you were talking about it. And I believe that everything happens for a reason. So I had been really loving the podcast and then I was on the fence, should I join the club? Should I not? Like, and I have this horrific thing happen at work, which I always think is, you know, a convincer. Mm-Hmm . And so my background is that I have spent 30 years working, um, in a very intense sales role selling media, selling now selling ad tech.
And my level of intensity was always really high and that needed to change. And so my purpose of being in the club is to figure out tactical ways, realistic ways to just bring everything down. But I don't, I don't know anyone who teaches that. Like who, who are you supposed to turn to? You know, for someone like me who's sort of an intense personality to begin with, who is hard charging is surrounded by other intense people. When you're in sales, everyone is operating at that level, right? And I didn't wanna do it anymore. I didn't necessarily wanna quit. I didn't wanna change careers, I needed help. I was just like, this is not sustainable. I am gonna have a breakdown. So I joined the club and it was a private coaching. I thought I just needed a little more one-on-one. And I'd spent my whole life really devoted to self-help and therapy and faith and all of those things.
But nobody gave me what I needed to make a change. I could think about it all day long. Yeah, , but who can help me? I have my girlfriends and I have my husband and I have my sisters. Everyone's situation is so different. Yeah. And so for me that was the goal was just to calm the F down. Like just stop worrying about what people think about you. Why do you always have to do a plus work? Why does it matter you are enough outside of your career? That was huge. I have three kids, I have a loving husband, I have a great extended family. But for some reason I was obsessed with what people thought about me at work. Like it was so disproportionate. So I joined the first year and then I joined, I'm in my second year.
I love that. And I think that that's so common for so many people, especially women in intense industries, I think that we're sort of programmed to need is not even like that. I do good work and find, I'm a perfectionist but everyone has to love me too. Everybody has to love me. And if somebody doesn't love me, then that's the end of the world. And we create so much drama around that. We're definitely like sold this lie by corporate America too, that we're like a family and everybody, you know? And so you have this thing of, well my family doesn't love me and that feels terrible . And when you really kind of sort out like, why do I need this? Why do I need this so badly that like for this person, it's not even like I'm doing great work. Maybe I'm getting good reviews, I have a job, whatever. But if I feel this tension with a coworker or if I feel like I didn't get the praise from my boss that I should even like, it'll send me into a tailspin. And so I'm so glad that you noticed that to be like, this is not sustainable, but like why am I living like this? And so how have you seen that change over the last kind of year and a half that you've been in the club now?
So I think for me it just came down to like really tactical advice. Like everything's 50 50, there's gonna be 50% of my job that I like and there's gonna be 50% of my job that I don't like. There's gonna be 50% of the people I work with who I like and there's gonna be 50% of the people that I don't like. And guess what? I don't have to like them either. . And that was really freeing for me. I love when you would be like, who cares? Who even cares? I was so worried. You know, in sales it's really brutal because even if you're hitting your numbers and you're killing it, if you rub somebody the wrong way, it's a lot of drama. Always so desperate about getting laid off or getting fired. And long story short, it came to fruition almost a year ago and I coached my way through it and I was like, I was so afraid of what people were gonna think like, oh, Megan got pushed out, what's wrong with her? And it was like a miracle that I got through that and didn't internalize everything. Yeah. No one cared. , they know who I am. They know I'm loyal, they know I'm a good friend. They're like, Megan, you're so resilient. I can't believe you. Like go from job to job. I do. It's the nature of the beast and I don't beat myself up for it. Yeah. I'm just like, wow, good. I was able to land another job. Yeah. Like
Happy for the
Paycheck. It's such an important part of this is like the circumstances are gonna happen right now. The economy is gonna shrink and layoffs are gonna happen and the only control we have is like what story we're attaching. And so many of us attach these horrible stories that we just drag around for year after year. What's wrong with me and I'm not good enough and whatever. And just learning the art of I don't have to attach a story, this happened now I'm gonna another job and I can have my own back and I can keep going. And so seeing you in that time too, like transition through that and then get another job and you know, just kill it in your own way. But with, with the peace of having your own back through it, a lot of people jump from job to job or will get laid off or whatever it is that is gonna happen.
But they just spend so much of that time like raking themselves over the coals. You know, like being their own biggest bully may being so hard on themselves. And so to watch someone do that in a way that's just so much lighter and like, yeah, okay, this is this circumstance and now I'm changing this job and now I'm gonna do this and it just doesn't need all that drama is incredible to watch. I love that. Okay, so you transitioned into owning your own business and growing your own business. Yeah. And so I wanna know really what you had to do really with the mindset piece of that, of like transitioning from like an employee into a business owner and how maybe the tools have helped you kind of bridge that gap.
There's a lot of tools. , , I mean, before joining the club I was seeing a career coach that really helped me with my values. You know, really did a lot of work on in terms of what's important to me and things like that. So I did get a a start there. But honestly it was doing these baby steps and the thought work involved. Yeah. To let go of all the obstacles. It was attacking one obstacle after the other. Not necessarily logistically more like these obstacles we have in our brain. It was such a big ordeal to quit my job. And then when I did literally the next morning, it was like it was nothing. That was the weirdest thing for me. You know, you just expect it to be the signaling. Yeah. And then you're like, okay, well I did that. Let's move on . Yeah. And then it was like, okay, what's the next thing I gotta get registered, I gotta get a client, I gotta, you know, so it logistical but more on the thought work because I realized I was my own obstacle. Like I was my biggest obstacle.
Yeah. I don't know if you guys have seen that video, it's like a meme, but like it's a video of a little boy holding onto like a branch and it's like a river. It's kind of like a moving water in the shallow water. Yeah. Wait, he's screaming, he's horizontal screaming as he is holding on and it's like sister walks up the water's up to her calf and she just like lips him vertically and he just stands up. I swear I feel like quitting your job is like that. Like you, you like I've gotta die. And then you're like, oh, I just stepped off a curve . It's not that
It's true. Literally it feels exactly like that. I, I'm not the only one to say that. Yeah. And then the other cool surprise is that it's like a snowball effect. You do this big change and then all of a sudden the rest gets easier in a way because you're in this constant state of change. So if you literally just roll with it, it's like that.
Yeah. I love that. And I think going back to what Megan said too, the reason I'm so obsessed with this work for myself too because it's changed my life is like when you learn these tools, there's no situation that you don't apply it to. You know? So it doesn't matter what the situation is where like I'm gonna start a business or I'm gonna go to another job or I'm gonna deal with this circumstance or you know, have an illness or whatever it is that I have to do. Like I apply the same tools and so it starts becoming like, okay, I'm expecting this now. Like now how do I manage my mind around this and how do I manage my mind around that? I constantly ask like, how did I live before thought work? How did I ever make it through this world? Because it was always like, well let's just see what new thing is gonna knock me over. Like what new wave is gonna come and I can't handle. And now I'm just like, the waves are gonna come, I know how to stand up, right? I know how to do this. And so whether it's business or you know corporate or your creative endeavors or whatever, it's like you're applying the same tools to it over and over again.
So true. Every day.
Cool. I love that.
Yeah. But every day is a different challenge and you're like, okay, tomorrow it'll be fine but there'll be something else. Yeah,
Yeah. Absolutely. Which I would love to hear from all of you guys, like how you utilize the club. 'cause they liken the club to a buffet where like the point is not to come and eat all the food, like you will get sick. The point is to like come take the thing that you need and use it. I know some of you like come to live calls, some of you get coaching, some of you listen to the private podcast, some of you do more workshops. And so I would love to know how you've been kind of using the tools in the club for your own journey.
Yeah, I love that. On your app there's different meetings, like there's different topics so you can pick and choose which ones are interesting to you. And I love that. Some weeks I'm like, oh I need open coaching . And then I go in with my topics, I sign in, I ask for my questions, you coach me. Yeah. And then that's it. And then some weeks it's like a, a topic that we're working on. So I love that you could pick and choose based on what you're going through. That's the biggest pleasant surprise for me is the variation and the flexibility.
I would agree. It's very much of what do I need this week or what's coming, you know, down the pike that I see. Mm-Hmm with the group of if there's gonna be a workshop and I'm like oh I'm gonna get into that headspace and maybe I'm gonna start working on that preemptively before we have that meeting so that I am like a little bit more engaged with it. I love that there is a variety as well as I like the community aspect of that. You can message either you directly or the community just be like, hey, this was a win or this is what I'm struggling with. And have the community go, oh this is what, you know, either encouragement or this is what helped me with me or what have you. Which just really great to have uh, use that as both encouragement and accountability. So that has been helpful for me.
Yeah, I love that that community aspect because I think that one of the worst things that we do to ourselves and I don't know why we all do it, even though there's like example after example is that we believe that it's just me. Like I'm just struggling with this or I'm not good at this or everyone doesn't love me or whatever the issue is. And I think one of the most healing things about a group program, group coaching and then especially the community is like how much we all just have the same thoughts over and over again. That's why I always say like even with the coaching calls, like if you don't get coached, you're just listening to people that have the same thoughts as you do. And I love when people are like posting in the community either a win or you know, their own thought work or what they're struggling with because inevitably it's just something we all struggle with and it's so not just nice to have the support but truly to see that like how human of us, like of course that this person struggles with this.
And I think for all of us, we all know this like so much easier to be kind to other people to be like, oh my god, no you should totally go for it, you're great. You know? But then like for ourselves we're just like, there's no way I could, you know, I'm not. And so when you see that though and you're like why am I so encouraging to other people or why do I think this person should not beat themselves up? You know? And then it slowly starts kind of like seeping into like maybe I should treat myself that way. And so I think that the community can be a really like strong aspect of helping you just navigate all of the humanness of our own experience.
Well not only that, when you go into something where you're like, oh this is a new challenge for me, I'm a little nervous. You do the thought work but you also in the back of your mind go, oh I know that if I put this on there they're gonna be like, you did great. You know the cheerleaders are gonna be there for you. Yeah. Even before they're there cheering for you. And that's just so wonderful to just be like, oh totally, I know I can do this . Totally.
You could do life alone but why would you want to when you have people cheering you on or when you're like, Hey I wanna share this because I did do this hard thing. Even if it's just feeling an emotion or you know, whatever my small win is, it really is so nice to have people that understand what you're going through or like in the same space where they also wanna create a better life and not live the way that we've sort of been told we have to live. When they're cheering you on at each step, it just makes it so much easier. I love that. What about you Megan?
The word that keeps coming up for me when you keep talking about the journey and and sharing it with other people is why suffer in silence? Yeah. Like why suffer? And if you are brave enough and humble enough to be able to bring your whole self, that's where the healing is and that's where the growth is. But if you're prideful, I feel like that gets in the way a little bit. I listen to every single recording, I always try to get on them, but I work full time and it's hard to jump on. But I always listen. And so something happened recently where I posted it in the community, it was our theme around feeling negative feelings. Yeah. And going through that process. And I got some feedback at work that someone thought I was condescending and instead of spiraling out of control, you think I'm condescending .
Like just wait. And I sat with it, I posted it in the club, I processed it, I felt a little. I felt it in my body. I'm like, oh my gosh, everything goes to my stomach. Mm mm-Hmm. . You know, it's like every season it sort of flows. Sometimes I'm all in and sometimes I backpedal and I'll listen and then you'll have a workshop that I'll jump in on a Saturday. You know, I think Isabel said the same thing. Like the diversity I think is really good. Yeah. I love the newsletters because that's sort of like a weekly Oh yeah. Let me see what's going on.
I second that. I love your newsletters.
Oh good. I'm so like
Yeah we, I actually read it , you
Never know. I'm always like, I'm just putting things out into the void. We'll see because I, with newsletters and emails, I don't know who's seeing 'em and stuff, but I'm like I hope this helps. I, they're so
Brief, which I appreciate and they're to the point.
Yeah. It's just like a telling of what's happening in the club that week. Yeah.
Especially if you haven't been in it that week, you don't feel totally out of the loop,
You know? Totally. And I love that Megan, that it's, I think part of the reason, like I said, I made it a membership and truly why I think people should do the year long membership instead of doing monthly is because it allows you to have that human experience of ebbing and flowing. Because nothing in our lives is like, I'm gonna go, go, go and be perfect every single week. Life doesn't work that way. Seasons don't work that way. Like one of the things I try to really instill, even when people right when they join is you will be inconsistent. That is normal. Like some weeks you're gonna have a lot of time and you can listen to 'em all or you can come live and then some weeks you're not going to and like work is gonna get in the way and your kids are gonna get sick and something's gonna happen and you can't come and like, okay then come back the next week.
You know? And the whole point is like really what works for your schedule? What works with your life? What works with your problems? Like sometimes things are just great and you're like, I don't actually need coaching right now and I'm doing all right. And then two weeks later you're like okay, I need to go back to coaching because now I'm having this like experience of kind of being in that valley. And so I, I love that you're utilizing that way 'cause I think that's the best way to use it. 'cause one of the things I have to really fight against all of my people, I love you all, you're me so I get it. But what's like this perfectionism and these like straight A students that are like, I gotta be in that. I gotta get an a plus. I gotta be in every call and I gotta do every worksheet.
And I'm like, this isn't school, we don't have to do that. I want you to utilize it really with what worked the best for you. So I love that you sort of found that kind of flow for yourself because that's, that's where you get the most out of this. Not when you're putting on pressure of like this is something else I need to add to my, to-do list and it's something else that I need to get done. It's just really like how can I use this to support myself? What is it that I need? Do I need the community? Do I need to talk about this? And then can we just like pause on how incredible of a win that is. I want you to like really think about, you know, just sitting with that emotion of like someone saying something like criticizing you. I just think about this like I what world would we live in if people knew how to take that and process an emotion and not go out and spew it out against the world.
Like we all do it. Like, you know, I know you're joking, but it's like I'm gonna become defensive like oh you think I'm condescending now watch what I can do. Right. It's like we create these cycles, I'm just in a bad mood and I'm snappy at my husband and then he's in a bad mood and he snaps that are and learning to be like, hey let, I can sit with this discomfort and I can like let it be and I can watch where it goes and I don't have to make it mean anything about me and I can move on. And like it might seem like it's like Oh I did this one thing well but it's life changing. It's life changing. So I love that.
Yeah. Because who wants to feel that, you know? And so you scroll or you eat or you do drugs or you gamble or you yeah do all the millions of things. But nobody ever teaches you to be like, you know what? Like today might not be a good day. You might just have to like sit in the muck. That's transformative. You know? Because nobody teaches you how to sit with negative feelings, feel your feelings and feelings aren't facts and all this stuff. But what does that actually mean? I never really got it. And it's like no it's painful, it's hurt, it's shame, it's fear, it's all those things. But if you can, you know, feel it in your body, that's
A good thing. To Megan's point, like you teach us how to deal with those feelings. I know that when I was waiting for my big client to tell me if I landed it or not, I was so stressed, so nervous I was going berserk everywhere. I just couldn't sit with it. And like within minutes an open coaching you told me sit with it. Yeah. Like it's okay. It doesn't always have to be this fantastic solution. Yeah. It just sometimes it is just sit with it and chill out and it'll all work out however it works out. And then you deal with the outcome. You know
For sure what I've learned for myself and I feel like how is this not taught in schools? Like how are we not taught The secret to life is that if I don't have to escape my feelings and I can just be with them and let them come in and like you said, a lot of it is not like how do I just make myself feel better? How do I just not sit with it because I don't wanna sit with this big emotion but really being like, you know Megan saying maybe today's not a good day or maybe I'm nervous, of course I'm nervous. Of course I'm anxious. How do I sit with that anxiety instead of constantly trying to chase it away with something else or like numb it with something else because it feels so uncomfortable to me 'cause I have no idea what to do with it.
Well honestly, watching all of you guys in kind of respective ways use this has been so cool making you transition to a new job and do it with such ease. Like without all the drama watching Isabelle like build a business and land that client by the way that was, she was so scared to not get and watching Henry build out these like creative endeavors and find that kind of part of him that for a while I remember even in the community you were a little nervous about talking about it. Like saying you wanted to do this and it was very brave of you to talk about it. And I think everybody was really encouraging and it was so cool to see you step. 'cause you're clearly talented in writing and if you join you need to come and search Henry's post because it is like he has a way with words he writes like paints a picture. You can just see it. So I'd love to watching that. But I would love to know like how this work may bleed into other parts of your life, like your home life with partners, friends, family health.
It's bled into all the parts of my life. Anything I want. It's like, okay this month it's, this is my objective. It's just reuse all the same tools towards that. The thought work, the all the tools.
My husband and I bought a franchise business four years ago and it has not been easy. It has been like rolling a boulder uphill. But I'm using the tools to help with the entrepreneurial part of me. 'cause I was like, you know what, I'm like a punch the clock kind of gal like nine to five give me my health benefits and my 401k match and I'm good. But I did work for the business for a few months and I loved it. And so I'm sort of in a transition where I don't know how long I'll be in this corporate office or this corporate job, but when the time comes I'll be able to use a lot of the skills in this entrepreneurial venture because the business will be more mature. Yeah. And be able to really afford me to be honest. So that's where I'm at in my career where I'm looking forward to that next chapter when and if that might be. And I just take it a day at a time. I'm just like, okay, when thi this door closes that door will open and we'll figure it out. And I say that to my kids, I have three kids and I'm like, he'll figure it out. Yeah.
, I
Say that to my daughter, she's 21. I said, you'll figure it out. You always do. Yeah. And it's so, it's encouraging without being patronizing. No. It's like figured out
. I love that. It's so good. Oh god, it, there's so many things in that We've coached a lot about this business and I mean listen, you need thought work with everything with business. You definitely need thought work. If you're doing business with your husband, I'm so glad that you have it because I think like it could just be so much more stressful and like watching you kind of really do that with such ease. Because a lot of what we work on is this understanding of being in seasons and not needing a rush. I think a lot of times when you don't use these tools, there is this need to constantly be there to constantly be somewhere faster. Like I need the business to be faster now. And it's like one of the things I'm most proud of is watching people like slow down and just be like, all right, I'm in this season now I'm gonna take this job for whatever my reasons are, whether it's the 401k and the healthcare and whatever.
Whether it's just because I'm not ready and like the business can't support it, whether I don't want to and I wanna ride this out for a couple more years. And like admitting that to ourselves and being okay with that as opposed to this like culture of oh, hustle, hustle, hustle. We need to like get it up. It needs to be six figures in six months. So even hearing you talk about it like this or it's like when it gets to it and I'm gonna transition and I'll figure it out is just, I love it. So good. Henry, what about you?
I wish my mom had said that millions of times to me. 'cause I feel like I now have to say it millions of times to myself about You'll figure it out. You'll figure it out. You've lived this long, you'll figure it out. Yeah. And that's what I have to do is every time I find a new hurdle or something that maybe isn't new and it's old and I'm like, I have to do this again . It's like all right, we'll figure it out. So I use that a lot. And living in the end, I struggle with being very much of I, I should be, I should be, I should be somewhere else. I should be doing this, I should be that I, this is where my career should be. This is the income that I should be having. All this kinda stuff. And it isn't.
And it's very much of okay, but that's not where we are. This is where we are and you have to live in that and points or whatever. And that's been really helpful for me because I'm always wanting to spin my wheels and being like, all right, let's get to the next project. 'cause I get really excited about something and then I'm like, all right, I'm done and we're gonna go and do something else and be excited about that. Uh, so it's been helpful to be like, no, no, this is actually where life happens is Yeah. In the end. I mean I think I use that for pretty much all facets of my life at this point.
, I love that. I love that. And it's so important because that's where your life is happening, right? I think for so many of us, we've been conditioned to wait for the either or like when I get to the success point or whatever the quote unquote there is and we never get there. And then when you realize like the and and that like messy middle, I'm like this is where it's at. This is where you know, better slow down and just try to enjoy it a little. And you know it's still gonna be 50 50. But really even repeating that mantra, I think it's so powerful. Can I live with this like this nuance with this grayness? Like it doesn't have to be this clear cut, it doesn't have to be this success failure. It's like just all of it, you know? And all of the emotions. If I had to sum up anything about all of this work in corner club, it's that is can we just live with all of it? Can we have good and bad emotions? Can we have like good and bad in our lives? Can we have the ups and downs, the 50 50? Can we like sit with that instead of needing it to be different? So I love that Henry.
Oh yeah, exactly. I have a goal that I would really like to get a draft done of my first book. And I realized that once I do that, the next goal will be, okay, now you have to do a second draft or you have to publish it and then you do the second. It's always gonna be, there's gonna be something and it's not a matter of the goalpost is always gonna be moving is a bad thing. It's more of that's just what your brain's gonna do. So work with your brain.
Exactly.
And that kind of was a light bulb moment for me of like, oh
Yeah. But I think it's, a lot of us are sort of taught that like, okay, but once I do that, then I'll be happy. Yes. Once I have that first draft of my novel, then I'll feel successful. And then you get there and then you immediately move the goalposts and it's simply knowing like of course I'm gonna keep reaching for new goals. That's not a problem, that's actually a great thing. But can I enjoy that journey instead of waiting to get there to feel successful and happy? Can I know like, hey, I can be proud of myself while I'm writing this first draft of my novel. I can be like, you know, super stoked on the fact I can like really be in this moment both with the frustration of writing a novel and also what is really amazing about this, right? And how can I celebrate this and how can I like really learn from this and be there so that it's not the goal really.
You know, obviously it's like the journey, but it's not like when I get there and I move the goalpost, I'm still enjoying my life as I go through this process. And so I feel like that's the biggest like lesson that people with goals that I think so many of us need to have is I want people to come into the club and have huge goals and we do a lot of goal setting, we do workshops, 90 day workshops and year long goals. And I do make you only pick one goal as Henry was saying, even though everybody tries to fight me on it. But that's not where your happiness lies. Getting that goal is not what's gonna change anything.
It reminds me of so much of women. You know, you see someone with a fabulous, you know, purse or great shoes or great coat. The minute you have it you're like, it's so incredible how unsatisfying it actually is.
, it really is.
You know, it is wild to me.
We think when I have that stuff, if I have the person stuff or I have the money to get that, or if I lose the weight and I look this way or we have this illusion that like when I get to that I'm gonna be a different person. I'm all of a sudden not gonna have stress and I'm gonna feel really great about myself and I'm gonna wake up and I'm gonna be organized and I'm never gonna hit snooze on my alarm anymore. And I'm just gonna, you only think it's like all of a sudden this is gonna change me. When I get that pers I'm gonna feel so rich. But you don't, 'cause you have the same thoughts. Like you just get there and you're the same person. And this is why you hear so many people where like really do have really big goals, let's say to change their body, lose a bunch of weight or whatnot.
And then they get to that and then they, it's like followed by a depression because you're like, I'm still the same person in just a slightly different body now. Right? And it was simply the thought that I, once I got there, I'm gonna be different. And it's like, but you're not, it's gonna be the 50 50 of life. It's gonna be no matter what, whatever purse you get, whatever thing you have that the other person has. Even the relationships, right? So many people's, like once I get married, once I have the kid, once I have, yeah, then you'll have another set of stresses. It doesn't change. It's just learning to deal with that set of stress.
That's so true. It's actually one of the best lessons you taught me through the club and the podcast because I had this three month process trying to land this client doing an RFP for the first time. All these things I'd never done before. And instead of focusing so much on what I was trying to achieve every day I was like, wow, look how much I grew today. Love that. Wow. I didn't know this this morning. Now I know this. Like really try to enjoy it because you're right, look landed the client. And then I was like, okay, what's next ? Literally. Yeah.
We don't even celebrate for a split second before we move on to all the other fears. So for the longest time, like you were stressed about like I'm gonna get this big client, oh my god, what if I don't get it? And whatnot, right? And then as soon as you landed, it's like the next set of like, oh my god, can I deliver? And what if they don't like me? And what if you know, it's like ire doesn't even pause. I was just coaching someone today who quit her job and you know, we think that's what I need. I need to get outta here. She's on a sabbatical and of course her brain's just onto all these problems of like, am I wasting my time and should I be doing more and da da da. You know? And it's, it doesn't even matter if you're doing something that's quote unquote fun or what you wanted to do. You know it, it's, your brain has to find problems. Like that is what it is designed to do. And if you don't learn how to kind of manage that, it's just gonna keep dragging you along from thing to think. So I love that you see that too. Okay. I would love to know any like final thoughts that you have for somebody that maybe was where you were before you joined? Um, doesn't know if they wanna invest in a year or doesn't know if they wanna be a part of it or what they wanna do.
I have three little final thoughts. My biggest worry was like, oh I'm gonna be nervous talking in front of everybody, you know? And to my surprise, A, you're super encouraging. Everybody is so encouraging. There's always somebody that's willing to go first and then it just kind of helps out. There's definitely no fear in it at all. We're all in the same boat. That was really surprising to me at the informality of it all. You're always like, Hey, you're all busy if you're calling in, if you're going on your walk, if you're video, there's no obligation at all. Yeah. But you know how many people listen in on their walks. So it's super cool that way, super way. And for me, I can't believe how much one-on-one time we get with you and if you calculate how much you cost on a one-on-one basis , I was like, wait a minute. I get her every week like this , this is huge discount. Yeah. Because you do, I think I didn't realize when people join a group or this kind of coaching, they think they're just gonna be with a group all the time and we would never see you or we would only see you once in a while. But we, you actually give us one-on-one time.
I think what you mean is that it is not like I'm on a call with you alone. Like I don't do a ton of one-on-one anyways. And when I do it's, I charge a lot and part of this is like you can get coaching every single week from me. Yeah. If you want coaching from me, you can get coaching from me every week. Yeah. Pretty much every, you know, like every, I think a lot of times people think you're right, that's like a big group and there's gonna be, you know, all these people and I'll never be able to raise my hand or whatnot. But if you join and you get the time like to talk about your issue as long as you need it, as long as you show up and you ask for coaching.
Exactly.
You know, the value that comes with being a member far outweighs the investment. And so the return on your investment is gonna be incredibly great because it's your health, it's your mental wellbeing. If you value the way you wanna live your life, it's very much worth the investment. And I echo no pressure, but your encouragement, you're like, speak up. It's just that's what I'm here for. And people have one-on-one life coaches or one-on-one therapists and it's a fortune. And this for me is way more pragmatic and more tactical. Like the skills and the tools you can implement them immediately and if you're struggling you could put something in the community or you can jump on a coaching call and just raise your hand. And so that's my position is that you're investing in yourself and it's, if you're struggling with those emotional challenges, this will alleviate a lot of that suffering.
Thank you. Henry. Last but not least,
What I would say is for those that are first joining at the beginning, anticipate having big emotions and that's good. I think that, and you can always tell the first time that someone has signed on and they ask questions for the first time and call 'cause they have big emotions. And I remember I'm always brought back to the first time I did and I don't know why, I can't remember what I was asking you, but I just remember just doing the thing and I'm like, I don't know why I'm suddenly like getting really emotional about this. Because I think it's a lot of us don't put ourselves first. Yeah. We don't invest in ourselves. We don't ask ourselves what do I actually want to do? And I think finally forcing yourself kind of to do that Yeah. And in front of people is really powerful.
I would say very powerful. And so I think those have really big emotions. So for anybody who is first getting into the group, I would say one, it's really sweet so everybody will just be really kind. So if you have questions that, that sort of thing. But also, yeah, it's a lot of big emotions and I think a lot of people also are like, oh I'm gonna do it wrong. You can't do it wrong . Yeah. You know, come in and you, you take what you want. So I mean I think that's would be what I would encourage people at the very beginning, take it slow.
Perfect advice. 'cause there is no wrong, you will never be behind. You can take what you need and really do it as slow as like one of the mottos I have and I talk about all the time is like low and slow. You wanna utilize the motivation when you sign up for something. I get that. But it's like Oh, I have to go in and use everything and I, you know, have to do it perfectly and really even like giving yourself the grace of like, maybe I just dip my toe in and just check out what's going on and see what's happening first and then get more comfortable. And like you said, I mean it's so funny 'cause I get so mad when people apologize for crying or something on a call. 'cause I'm like, the whole point of this is like we've all spent all of our lives just pushing down every emotion, like suppressing like you're not supposed to have it in corporate America and you're not supposed to have it in front of people and nobody can handle emotion.
And I love nothing more like cry, just come here and cry. Let's just cry together. I wanna cry all the time. You know, there's nothing wrong with it. It means we're finally letting it out. We're finally like trying to look at like, why do I have all this? Like how can I put some of it down and I can't put it down unless I'm like willing to look at it. And so I agree in the beginning I think it is very powerful that you're finally giving yourself a chance to say like, Hey, something's not working and I wanna figure it out and I wanna figure out what to do with it. And so I think that's great advice. So thank you for that. And thank you all so much. I really appreciate you guys taking the time and being here. And I honestly love being in community with all three of you guys are just such amazing, uh, members of this community. And I think you add so much to the community in making other people really feel welcome and in being vulnerable and talking about your own journeys and not trying to hide. And so I'm so grateful to you all.
Thank you goalie.
We love you goalie and it about mom.
This was lovely. This was fun.
This was fun. We should do this again.
Hey, if you are looking for more in-depth help with your career, whether that's dealing with all of the stress, worry, and anxiety that's leading to burnout in your current career or figuring out what your dream career is and actually going after it, I want you to join me in the Quitter Club. It is where we quit what is no longer working like perfectionism, people pleasing imposter syndrome, and we start working on what does and we start taking action towards the career and the life that you actually want. We will take the concepts that we talk about on the podcast and apply them to your life and you will get the coaching tools and support that you need to actually make some real change. So go to lessonsfromaquitter.com/quitterclub and get on the waitlist. Doors are closed right now, but they will be open soon.