Hey, welcome to Lessons From a Quitter where we believe that it is never too late to start over. No matter how much time or energy you spent getting to where you are, if ultimately you are unfulfilled, then it is time to get out. Join me each week for both inspiration and actionable tips so that we can get you on the road to your dreams.

Hello, my friends. Welcome to another episode. I'm so excited to have you here. Before we jump in, I wanted to let you know, I know last week I said it was the last week and I was mistaken. This week is the last week to sign up to be on the wait list for my new program, The Quitter Club. I am so excited about this. I cannot tell you how perfect this is for anybody who either hates their current job and wants to find a way to not be so miserable all the time and stressed out and burned out and wants to actually like getting up in the mornings and not dread every day, looking forward to Friday, like if you're in that state, I promise you there's another way you don't have to be a victim to your circumstances or if you're trying to figure out like what's my next thing. I know this job isn't it. I wanna figure out what the next thing is. I wanna work towards getting there. I wanna manage my mind around the fear and what everyone's gonna think and how I'm gonna quit. All of that will be in this program. It will give you the continued support that you need, the guidance, the coaching, all of the work that we're doing on the podcast. It's just deeper. Like we're actually implementing. It's one thing to hear it all the time and that does help. But it's another thing to really like look at your own thoughts and really like look at your situation and think like how am I making myself miserable at work? How can I change that? How can I start doing things that I wanna do later on? How can I start working towards bigger goals? How can I stop beating myself up? All of these things is what we will work on. Doors are gonna be open next week for one week and I want you to join. And here's the thing. The first time I launch, it's gonna be at 50% off. I will never offer this price again. So if this is something you're interested in, if you know that you've been putting off doing this work, you've been putting off all the mindset work that you know you need to do. You've been casually listening but you really want to take charge of the rest of your life and the rest of this year, right? If you don't want 2022 to end without you changing, going through the motions, what goes on every day for you. I want you to get into this program. You'll learn more about the program next week when doors open and you'll get all the information. So if you wanna be on that wait list, go to quitterclub.com/secret and get on that secret wait list, become a founding member, start putting your own happiness and needs and mental health first. I promise you the ripple effects that you will see in your life will blow your mind. Okay, so that is the program. Quitterclub.com/secret. I am so, so excited about it and I can't wait to launch next week but today, I wanna talk to you about quiet quitting. So if you're on TikTok or maybe you've heard it cuz I think it's now trickled it's way onto LinkedIn and even Instagram. This is a term that kind of went viral about a month ago and it started out on TikTok and the idea, I think it started out more tongue in cheek, but of course, as viral things go, it started creating a lot of discussion. And the way that quiet quitting has been portrayed on social media, specifically on TikTok and in a lot of now think pieces, if you know, every outlet has written articles now, blog posts about it. It's all over LinkedIn. And the idea has been that you are not like outwardly quitting. You're not actively saying like I'm no longer gonna do this but you are just doing the bare minimum. Basically, you're doing your job. You're not going above and beyond. And you are leaving when you're supposed to leave and you're starting no earlier than you're supposed to start. And that apparently is supposed to be quiet quitting. Right. And it was really fascinating for me when I heard at first heard this term because I instantly thought like well, this is what I teach people to do. Right. It's and obviously, you know, I like the word quitting so it peaked my attention. But I started realizing how problematic this term is and how wrong it is to call this quitting. Right? Because is it really quitting or is it just doing the job that you were actually hired to do? Right. And I think that this, when we have names like this, it's like almost accepting the programming and the conditioning that we've been given from society by like hustle culture which is like you have to go above and beyond, right? You always have to give 110%. If you listen to last week's episode, I talked about how that's literally impossible. You cannot give more than a hundred percent. So when we've been kind of programmed to believe that you have to give more than you possibly can, whatever you can give is not good enough. It needs to be more like that's the message we've been given. Then of course, when you do what you've been hired to do, it is now what deemed quitting. That's not quitting my friends, right? That's getting compensated for what you are hired to do, that is doing your job description, right? Like that is what we should all be doing, that is putting up healthy boundaries in your career. And it's fascinating when you start realizing like how deeply we've been conditioned to give more than what we've been paid for, right? Like how much we've been exploited and how much we've been made to believe that we owe more than what the transaction we signed up for. Like a work transaction can be very straightforward. It's like I need these tasks done and I'm willing to pay this much. Can you do these tasks? And you get hired to do those tasks. And then somewhere in the middle of this, we decided that that meant not only should you do those tasks, you should jump, every time I say jump, you should say how high? You should do the task of anybody else in the office that's also not doing their tasks. You should stay late. You should start early. You should anticipate all of my needs. You should respond immediately. You shouldn't ever take time for yourself. Like none of this is necessary in a work in a like job environment, in a work environment. But that is what capitalism, patriarchy, if you think about it, let's break it down. So there's the hustle culture and there's capitalism where we have been what has been ingrained in us that our value is linked to our productivity. So the more productive you are, the more valuable you are. And so of course, from when we're younger, we want to feel more valuable. So many of us are trying to outrun this voice in our head that tells us we're not good enough. And so it's like I'll prove I'm good enough by doing 10 times more than other people, right? By doing two times more, by constantly going above and beyond. So like we get that programming. We also get the programming from patriarchy or white supremacy for so many of us that we're denied a seat at the table, whether you're a female or you're a person of color or you have a disability or you are um LGBTQ or whatever, whatever minority status you have, we were taught like you should be grateful that you have a seat at the table, right? Like this wasn't available to your ancestors or to people before you so you have to be twice as good. You represent everybody in that minority. You can't slip up. And so we put this pressure on ourselves, a lot of us, to represent and be this live up to some impossible standard that, you know, you can never live up to. You can't be a representative of your community. And so we have that. We have so many of us, this people-pleasing that has also been ingrained in us that like everybody has to love you. You make sure you get everybody's validation. Be a team player. Like that's a big one in corporate America, right. Where it's like God forbid anybody sees you as anything but the most team player-ish. And what does that mean? That means anytime someone needs anything, anytime we ask you to do something, you have to do it. And if you don't, you get to, you have to feel guilty cuz you're not a team player. Are you really giving 110%? Are you really going above and beyond? Right. And so, so many of us like don't know how to say no. If we get an email at seven o'clock at night when like we're not paid to work at seven o'clock at night, right? Or so many of us like think about things on the weekends or think that we have to get through these to-do lists cuz that was the list that my boss gave me. As opposed to understanding like I was asked to work 40 hours a week, I've done that 40 hours. If they want me to do more, then I need to be compensated for that. And so it's fascinating for me to see this term because it just takes everything that is wrong with the way that we look at work. And then it makes the employee the bad guy, this feeds into the same topic like the same types of programming that we've already had. Because if the employee is the one that's quiet quitting, right? Again, like the term quitting has a negative connotation. This is the whole point of this podcast is to try to change that connotation because there's nothing wrong with quitting or changing your mind. But even when you're saying this, what's fascinating when I was watching these TikToks or when I was reading about it on LinkedIn and online, it's almost like a guilty, how do I say this? Like it's almost like you're doing something wrong. You're doing something that you're not supposed to be doing. But truly the definition of it is I'm just doing what you hired me to do. I'm doing my job. Right. And I think that so many of us, especially in this generation and like the newer generations, thankfully are now seeing that this going above and beyond doesn't get you anywhere besides burnout, right? Like yes, sometimes, maybe once in a blue moon, like it will lead to a promotion but we have seen over and over and over again where people go above and beyond and are still constantly overlooked for promotions, constantly not given salary raises. And what's funny is I think sometimes we believe like we sit back and think that again, we have these like sayings like be so good that they can't ignore you. And so we think if we go above and beyond and we do all this, then people will just give us what's owed to us. Right? Like they will see that I'm doing such a good job and they'll just give me a raise. But it typically doesn't work like that. Right. I've talked about this before too, that like the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Like the person that asks for the raise is the one that's getting a raise. The the person that's constantly like advocating for themselves and unfortunately, for so many of us, we've been taught not to advocate for ourselves, to kind of be grateful and again, enjoy your seat at the table and don't make any noise and don't say anything. So so many of us just kill ourselves in the hopes that somebody just randomly recognizes and thinks we're good enough and sees all the hard work we're putting in. And then so many of us become resentful and angry when that doesn't happen, when we get passed up for the promotion or we don't get the raise that we didn't ask for or we just are given more and more work, like when our bosses that we can handle it, they just keep giving us more. And we think like well that is unfair or they should know but we don't ever advocate for ourselves. And so it's fascinating to me that like this generation is understanding that like that doesn't work anymore. I'm not doing that anymore. I'm not gonna kill myself. I'm not gonna burn myself out. I'm not gonna get to this place where I'm completely miserable. I'm not gonna go above and beyond and do the job of two or three people. Like if you fire someone and there's no one to do that, like you need, that's your emergency, not mine. Right. So we're all seeing that, yet, we're still giving into this type of programming. We're still giving in because we're naming it things like quiet quitting when there's no quitting going on there. Like I thought okay, maybe quiet quitting means like you don't make a fuss about the fact that you're leaving, you pack up your things and you don't have a goodbye party. Like that's what I was like. Okay, like I don't know. I guess that's cool. It's like a quiet exit. And then when I started hearing about what people are doing, I was like this isn't quitting at all. This is doing your job. And every single one of us should be doing this, this quiet quitting, whatever they wanna call it. We should be reassessing and constantly reevaluating and being like what was I hired to do? What am I doing that's more than that? How do I bring that up to my employer's attention, to my boss's attention that like hey, I'm doing a lot more than what you're paying me for. So like how am I going to be compensated for this? Or like I'm happy to take on these additional tasks but this wasn't in my original job description so can we talk about additional compensation? Like have these tough conversations, put the ball in their court, stop doing work for free. This is not a family. This is not a family business. No matter how much they want you to believe you're a part of the family. I promise you, they will fire you as soon as they have to. So like you have to learn to advocate for yourself. You have to learn to have your own best needs in mind. You have to learn like how to get yourself to not burnout. And part of that is to only do what you're being paid to do. So I think that this was a good example of really questioning even these viral moments, right? Constantly questioning like how is this adding to the programming that I've already had? Right. I think that it's we're in a unique moment where people are seeing that I'm not gonna continue on anymore. I'm not gonna give into the hustle culture. I'm not gonna kill myself for a job. I'm going to rest. I'm going to find a way to get outta burnout. I'm gonna find a way to enjoy my life. Like that's fantastic. But I think even in these movements, we need to be really aware of how we're labeling it. Right? Because I think it adds to the shame because there's a lot of articles that were talking about how quiet quitting is terrible for your career and how this generation is lazy and how nobody wants to work anymore. And it's because like it's just a terrible name to call it that cuz that's not what you're doing. What you're doing is like just doing my job, gotta just do my job. That's it. So I want you all to understand the like the substance of this movement. I'm all for. And I think that if you haven't like read into it or or seen it, you should look into it. And it's something that I think can validate for a lot of us that like hey, I'm also allowed to do this. I think so many of you are still so stuck in but like your identity being the person that's a team player and that goes above and beyond that it's really hard for you to even like accept that you wanna just do what you were hired to do and you don't wanna go above and beyond and you don't need to try to, you know, be the best of the best all the time. So I think that there's a lot that we can learn from this movement, from this kind of viral moment and like how we wanna implement it in our own jobs. But I want you to not accept when people are labeling something in a negative way, I want you to question it, right. I want you to question, especially if it's something that like tends to um kind of a person with less power down, I feel like in business there's power dynamics and the employee obviously has less power than the employer. And so if you're using something to kind of shame or put down people that are the employees, I would always question it. I would always really like think about who benefits from this type of a term or from this idea, just this belief that not going above and beyond is somehow wrong because it's not. You don't owe your employer a hundred percent, 110%. You don't owe anybody every last ounce that you have, you owe them to do the job, that's it. And figure out exactly what that is. And only do that and learn to set boundaries. I feel like maybe we should call it having healthy boundaries at work instead of quiet quitting. You get my point. I just wanna do this little rant because I think that a lot of us are catching onto this stuff and we want to implement it in our life but we still shame ourselves in little ways, by even accepting the fact that like I'm doing something that is seen as bad or wrong or like phoning it in or I'm somehow doing something that I should feel guilty about as opposed to like this is exactly the way it should be. And if you want help learning how to quiet quit or set boundaries at your work and actually only do that, which by the way, is a lot harder than most people think because we've been so programmed to believe that we should always go above and beyond. This requires you to manage your thoughts and your beliefs and your um mind around what you are required to give and what your employer's gonna think about you and whether they're gonna fire you, which our brain loves to go to this like catastrophizing, we're gonna get fired for everything. All of that requires you to manage your own beliefs. Because if you believe that like you have to give 110% or you're gonna get fired, you're gonna burn yourself out. And so that's why it doesn't matter if you go from job to job or if you change your jobs because we're all waiting for like our employer to be the one that sets the healthy boundaries like our employer to just understand what is good for us and what is not. And that's very rarely gonna happen. Like the next job you go to too, if the employer sees that you're like someone that gives 110% and goes above and beyond, they're gonna just give you more things to do. And so you have to learn how to put those boundaries. You have to learn how to like do only what was required of you. You have to learn how to advocate for yourself and have those tough conversations if you need to be compensated for doing more. You need to learn to deal with the guilt of like and strip your identity away from the fact of like being the person that goes above and beyond or the person that always excels. That's the hard work that you have to do. And once you can do that, then it becomes so much easier to find work life balance, to be able to strip your identity from what you're doing, to be able to find happiness in work and outside of work. And if you wanna do that work, that is exactly what we're gonna do in The Quitter Club. Next week door's open. So if you wanna know about it, go to quitterclub.com/secret and I would love to help you personally with your own situation, learn how to manage your mind and quiet quit if that's the thing that you wanna do. Alright, my friends. I'll see you all next week.

Thank you so much for listening. If you liked this episode, share it with someone else. I promise you know somebody who also hates their job and wants to quit, so why not share the love? And if you want to come follow along for more, come join me on Instagram at LessonsFromAQuitter and make sure you say hi. I'll see you next week for another episode.