Hello my friends and welcome to another episode. I'm so excited to have you here. Uh, I am so excited for this topic. This is a topic that I recently talked to about with one of my coaching friends, and I wanted to bring it here because it was such a good discussion and it was something that I needed. She was sort of coaching me on something and I've coached so many people on it, and sometimes we need reminders. And so I'm so grateful to her for reminding me about this. But I, it's a concept that I really want you to think about with your life, and it's the concept of going all in into the thing that you are doing. Oftentimes I think that especially when we are in a place where we are building towards something bigger, we are building towards our dream. We are building towards a life where it might be a couple of steps ahead, right?

It might be something where we don't even know how we're gonna get there and we have bigger dreams. We wanna get to bigger places. It can be feel really, um, natural or I don't know, just sort of, we sort of give into this idea of having one foot in one foot out of our life. And what I mean by that is like not committing to where we are right now because this isn't where I want to be. It's almost the same issue of, um, you know, this destination addiction that a lot of us have that a lot, a lot of us have been taught to have where it's like, I will be happy when I get there, right? I will be happy when I have the job and I make this much money and I have this house and I got married and I have the kids.

And so we're constantly in pursuit of that and we tend to miss what we're doing right now and we tend to miss the beauty and, um, everything that is now and a lot of our life sort of passes us by in this pursuit of more. Now, I am not against the pursuit of more. I think you absolutely should pursue more, but I think there's something very special about going all in. And I think that part of this concept does piggyback on my concept of you being allowed to quit even if you're not miserable. So I think for a lot of us, the reason we don't go all in is because we know this isn't, like I said, the final destination. This isn't where I wanna stay. This isn't where I'm happy ist, right? And so we feel like, well, if I love it here too much, if I go all in, if I try to make this work, if I, you know, try to figure out how I can have the best time while I'm here, then I'm not gonna leave. Then I'm gonna decide that um, this is good enough. And you might, there very much is that possibility, which is not a bad thing. 'cause you'll be happy by the way. But I think that the, the thing that you have to understand is like, you can still leave, you can still decide that like I am working towards, let's say I wanna build a business and I have to stay in this job for the next three to five years because, uh, it is gonna pay

Off our debt and it's going to kind of fund my life, or it's gonna help me build my, um, fund in order to leave, or it's going to, um, be the thing that invests in my business. For whatever reason, I've decided that my short term goal is for the next three years I have to be in this job. Um, financially it makes sense for me. Great. But a lot of what we do then is like, okay, but I can't love it. 'cause then I'll get stuck here. Or I can't be all in on this 'cause I'm gonna be building this business, or I'm gonna be thinking about this business. And I just want you to think about it differently. Like, what if you could go all in? What if you could decide like, okay, this isn't for the rest of my life. I I do wanna build the business and that's gonna be a really fantastic experience and a lot is gonna happen then, but I know that for the next year, two years, three years, I'm gonna be here.

So what would it look like to go all in in this business? What would it look like to, and when I say go all in, I don't mean that like you have to, it's not a matter of energy spent. It's not a matter of like, I have to work all the hours. I just think like go all in. Like, how can I get the most outta this experience? How can I have the best relationship with my coworkers and create those relationships? How can I make my work something that is enjoyable and fulfilling? How can I go deeper with it? How can I get better? You know? Um, let's say I do want more opportunities or I wanna learn more skills, or I wanna climb the ladder. Why wouldn't I do that? Right? I think a lot of times we think like, well, no, I'm gonna leave so I'm gonna hold myself back.

I think we do this with a lot of things. Like I'm telling you, I got, um, coached on this by a friend. She was just kind enough to kind of point it out where when I was deciding what to do with the membership and I was deciding where I was gonna go next, and I was thinking about stuff, she sort of just helped me see, like, you can decide to create other things later, but what would it look like to go all in on the membership for the next six months or a year or how long? Ever long I was gonna keep it open, right? And what was interesting is I hadn't been really thinking about it like that. Like yeah, what would it look like for me to give my all to this? Even knowing it's gonna close, right? Even knowing that this is not like there's gonna be another chapter.

And I think for a lot of times, like we can then get really caught in like, okay, well how do I build this other thing and how do I make that the best thing? But I really figured out like, well, this is where I'm at right now. I'm still in this membership and I, and I do wanna deliver results and I wanna be with my clients. And like, what would it look like to go all in for me on this? What would that require of me? Again, it's not hours, it's just like, it's more of a mentality. How would I show up to it? What would I create for the people? How would I, um, coach myself through it? How would I get more people in? All of these questions could be answered differently when I view it from a lens of like going, going all in. Another thing we had talked about with my friend about this was, um, she was talking to another friend about her marriage. And as it happens, this person was saying how they had just decided that they were going to stay in their marriage while their kids were still young. Like they had sort of made, there was some problems in the marriage. And

This friend was saying how, um, she thinks that like once the kids grow up and um, leave, you know, go to college, that she likely wouldn't be with her partner, but that she had decided for that her, you know, for her, like her decision was to stay in that marriage until her children grew up became adults. Totally fine. That's her decision. And I think that my coach friend had sort of talked to her about like, okay, but what would that look like if you went all in? Like if you're gonna stay in this marriage for the next 10 years, eight years, 10 years, whatever it is for the next year, let's say, let's say you wanna say like, what would it mean to you to go all in on that marriage, right? And it doesn't mean that you can't decide when they're, when your kids are older to still want to get a divorce or still want to leave.

But if you're gonna stay, why not go all in on it? Why not make it the best thing for you at that time? And it's fascinating because obviously in that situation, I think like her taking that and really implementing it has fundamentally transformed their marriage. And so now they likely will not. I mean, who knows, who knows what's gonna happen. There's not to say that they will or won't, won't get divorced, but it changed how she was showing up to the marriage, knowing that she can still change her mind knowing that she can still get a divorce if she wants to. But it's like, when I am here, what is, what does going all in mean for me here? And so I want to ask that same question of you guys in whatever it is you're doing. You might be in a job where you already know it's not it for you where it's not the best situation, it's not the thing you love the most, okay?

But you know, you're gonna stay there right now. Like, you know that the, in the short term you're not leaving. And that's fine. 'cause maybe it, you know, like I said, financially is stable. Maybe you want to network for a couple years and build up your resume. Maybe you want to climb that ladder and get to a certain position before you leave. It doesn't matter what the reasons are, right? Maybe it's just easy. It's an easy job, it's gonna get you to go places. It's fine. Decide that like at least while you're there to go all in. And what does that mean for you? What is going all in? If I was, and listen, you can do this exercise even if you decide not to go all in, okay? No one is saying like, once you come up with these answers, you have to apply all of them.

But just like take out a sheet of paper and write down what would it look like to go all in? What would it look like to go all in right now where I'm at in this, um, job? What would it require? How would it require me to show up to it? What are the things that I probably would do or wouldn't do that I'm doing right now? Right? How would I have to think about this job differently in order to fully go all in? Again, I wanna caveat this, I've already said it, but I wanna say it again because when we live in the productivity obsessed society and this hustle culture of America,

I am not saying going all in means doing more and more and more. Okay? I'm not saying that like going all in is like, okay, I'm gonna become the best employee and I'm gonna do a plus work and I'm gonna run myself into the ground. I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is that like, how do I get out of this where I'm one foot in, one foot out? Maybe it's just a change in my attitude, right? Maybe I'm showing up to work every day angry that I'm here and I'm off at everybody and I don't wanna talk to my coworkers and I don't wanna make relationships and I don't really offer any help and I am just miserable. Maybe the only thing that's gonna change about going all in is just accepting that I'm gonna stay here and making the best of it, right?

Maybe it's sometimes doing more work and getting more involved. Okay? But really when I think about it, like for instance, I've asked myself this question even with my kids. What's funny is that like, obviously like I assume that I've already gone all in on motherhood, but when I ask myself this question, I realize that I'm not always all in in the day to day. I think that we all get obviously so super busy and there is so much that is again, sort of creating this, like when we get there, like I'm doing all this in order to set my kids up. And so I'm, I don't have the time to really enjoy right now because I'm doing all the things that are required in order to get them to X, y, and Z. And sometimes I have to pull myself back and be like, all right, this is the only time they're gonna be this age.

This is the only time that we have, I don't even know what the future holds. So what would it look like for me to go on? And sometimes that means doing exactly what I'm gonna do. And sometimes that means like saying yes to things I probably wouldn't say yes to or taking time off that I probably wouldn't take or doing things that maybe I don't even like doing. But just because I know that it will either build the relationship or allow me to slow down and enjoy the time that they are here, this isn't another reason to beat yourself up. So this isn't me saying like, oh, well now I have to look at like, oh my God, I've wasted so much time with my kids and I could have been going all in with them and I didn't do this properly in this relationship.

It's not about that. It's simply a way of checking in emotionally with yourself about like how you are feeling about your life right now. Exactly where it's as it's happening right now. It is not to like stop from creating goals and going for future things in the future. And it's not about looking at the past and beating yourself up about what you haven't done. It's simply saying like, this is the only time that I, the present is really all I have. And I can often get distracted because of all of the things that are happening in my life. And I can often, because I want things to obviously be better. I'm constantly gonna work on my life being better. I can get caught in this kind of futuristic thinking of I need to work harder to get to this place to enjoy. And when I bring myself back and I constantly use this as

Just a, a reframe like as, as a pulling back point of like, Hey, what would it look like to go all in exactly where I'm at? What would it look like to go all in on my business? What would it look like to go all in on my job, on my kids, on my marriage, on my friendships, on my health, whatever it is. And I'm not saying you have to go all in on everything. Pick one thing and just decide. Like if I decided I was gonna go all in, what would that mean for me? How would I show up differently? I may be doing the same amount of work, it just might be that the way that I'm showing up and the way that I'm feeling is different towards it. Okay? And so I just wanna leave you with this question because I think that it's something that we all have to keep re-asking ourselves and pulling ourselves back.

It's like, what would it mean for me to go all in on this? Nobody can answer that but you. And I want you to think about why is that the best thing that you can do? Like, why is it the best thing to go all in on this? Even if you wanna change this job, why is it the best thing to go? What are you gonna learn by going all in on it? How are you gonna change the experience of it for yourself, right? How are you gonna be an example to other people? What is like the side effects of going all in on something in your life? How are you gonna enjoy it more exactly where you are until you get to the next thing instead of just like waiting for your life to start when you get to the next thing? So I want you to ask yourself that.

How can you go all in? How can you make this stage all that you focus on right now? Well, not all that mean. You can focus on your goals too, but you know what I mean. Um, how can you make this the thing that you're gonna go full out on? You're gonna decide how you wanna show up and you're gonna show up in that way and you're gonna enjoy it in that way. And you're gonna really understand that it is a fleeting chapter and it is gonna end. And you will go in, go all in on the next thing there. So this was just some coaching that I needed as I was going through kind of this transition and figuring out what I'm gonna do next and really recommitting to going all in exactly where I'm at and then allowing myself to go all in on the next thing when I get there. And so I hope that it has helped you, and if it has, I will see you next week for another episode.