Hello my friends, and welcome to another episode. I'm so excited to have you here, and I want to tell you something really exciting before we start. Doors are open to my membership, the Quitter Club for the last time. It's very bittersweet for me to say that, but I want you to be aware that this is the last opportunity, if you've wanted to work with me in any capacity, if you wanna get coaching, if you want to, uh, create a strategy for your career. Now is the time I'm closing the Quitter Club at the end of 2025. And this is a final access pass. It's the last seven and a half months where we will dive deep together. It is going to be the best, uh, eight months of the club because I am bringing everything, all of my new frameworks, um, some special guests. We're doing a bootcamp to beat burnout.

There's gonna be a lot of live coaching and live classes. Um, you also have access to all of the past stuff, all of the curriculum in the Quitter Club. And so if you've been holding out, now is the time my friends clo doors are gonna close in about a week. And I don't want you to miss this opportunity to get access to coaching for probably the most affordable price point that you're gonna have to work with me. If you've wanted to work with me, now is the time. So you can go to twitter club.com/enroll and make sure that you take the small step to changing your career and changing your life. And that is what we're talking about today. Um, the topic that I wanted to talk about, I think fits in nicely with this decision that you might have in order to join the club.

And it's the way that you can make massive change in your life, and that is through micro decisions and micro steps. I think that we have this, um, false belief that there needs to be big dramatic sweeping changes in our lives, right? Where we have to completely start over or we have to burn everything down and, you know, start fresh. And I can tell you now after coaching hundreds of people, that that might be the worst way to do it. And it might be the most stressful way when you have these kind of big Hollywood moments where you think you have to, um, burn everything to the ground. For most of us, we're not built to be able to deal with that level of stress and the stress of what we have done outweighs then like the, you know, new beginning or the ability to kind of think about what we wanna do ne from there.

I think that from what I've seen from my own life, from the people that I've, um, coached, that so many more things are possible if you break it down into small steps, you are so much more likely to actually stick with it to actually make the change if you don't make it this big overwhelming thing. And so I know that my, uh, podcast is called Lessons from a Quitter, and I talk about quitting. And I think people think that this has to be some big grand sweeping thing, and it never does. And in fact, I don't recommend that you do it that way. And so I wanna talk to you today about how these micro decisions can really be the secret to big life changes, to big changes in your life. Okay? The first thing that I wanna talk about is just this myth of having a big life changing decision.
I think that, again, there's these like Hollywood fantasies, these movies we're used to. It sounds wonderful where it's like, you know, I'm making this big sweeping change. And for anybody that is unhappy in their life, it can be attractive to think about it like that. It can be like, you know, you wanna reset button and you wanna start completely over. And I think a lot of us sometimes do that. We move to a different city or a country, we might, you know, change all of our relationships because we think I need really big change in order to get out of feeling the way that I am. But the thing is, is that most of the time a lot of those changes, even the ones that seem like they're big and bold, are a series of tons and tons of small unsexy boring decisions that lead the person to there, right?

And I think we see this big moment and we think that that just happened in a flash, but that rarely, if ever, is the case. And I actually, again, like I said, I think that that actually creates so much more stress, that it does more harm than it does good. Something that I think you should be aware of is what in, you know, psychology is called a narrative fallacy. Our brain, when you're looking in hindsight, you know, they say hindsight's 2020. And when we are looking backwards, it's very easy to connect the dots. It's very easy to create a narrative, to create a story. And our brain loves to do this where it's almost like sh like you jump over a lot of things and it's like, oh, I had this, you know, big, uh, you know, exciting story of how I quit my job as a lawyer and got to where I am.
And it's easy to do that looking back, but it's a fallacy because that's not how it happens. So I can tell you with my own story when I tell it on a podcast, or if I'm being interviewed, well, of course I wanna skip through a lot of the boring stuff. And so a lot of the big moments do sound as though they're very big sweeping, like light bulb ahas, oh, I have to leave my job. You know, I hate being a lawyer. I, and, um, I'm gonna quit and whatnot. I try to do, I try to be really conscious of this because I never wanna make it seem like that because it wasn't like that for me. But a lot of times it does look like, okay, I quit my job in the law. I tried entrepreneurship with a photo booth business. It didn't work out in the way that I wanted, but I learned a lot.

And then I started this podcast and I created this business and it's been rainbows and butterflies. And that is condensing 10 years of 1 million decisions down into like a 32nd, you know, clip. And I think that unfortunately with social media, that is a lot of what we get. You get a lot of these 32nd reels because they're hooks and they keep people kind of, um, uh, addicted and they keep people on your site, but it's never what the actual thing is, right? And I, I've talked about that a lot on the podcast. I've talked that a lot in my community about how many decisions for me it has taken to get to where I am and how many decisions I was really unsure of, and how many times I failed and keep kept pivoting and how that has gotten me to where I am. And so I want you to realize that for all of us, whatever decision you are making is not one big decision.

It's a bunch of little decisions that you have to make, right? And I think that this is actually can be a really, um, empowering concept once you learn it. Because you never have to upend everything. You never have to take really big risks that are super scary, that might put you at financial risk or at risk of losing a lot of things. You really can take things kind of slowly and you can really look at like, how many steps are there gonna be before I have to make maybe a big financial risk or whatnot. So like, if you think about quitting your job, let's say that's not one decision. It's not one decision that's like, oh, I'm just gonna go in and, you know, quit. It's a lot. It's like going, doing therapy or coaching and getting your mind right. It's updating your resume. It's having conversations with maybe your higher ups or your coworkers.

It's having conversations with your spouse and really understanding where you're at. It's getting your finances in order. It's, um, looking into, you know, other jobs and networking. And there's so many other things I go into like getting to the place. Like when you actually go in to quit, you've already hopefully been doing a lot of this work for a very long time. It's not as though you go in guns blazing and it's like, I can't work here. I'm out. Usually when people quit that way, not the best, not the best because you have nothing lined up. You haven't really thought about it, you hadn't talked to your spouse about it. You just kind of went in and made a rash decision. And so I know that for me, you know, when I quit the law and I talk about this, like, it took me a whole year to admit to myself that I wanted to quit the law.

I had so many conversations with my husband, with my parents, with my friends, with people in the law, with people outside of the law. I did so many informational interviews. I read so many blogs. I looked up so many other people that had left the law. I had, I had spent so much time thinking about this. And each one of those was a decision. Having each one of those conversations was a decision. You know, compiling other people's stories was a decision. All of those things were little things that kind of helped me get to the point where I wanted to make the decision to actually quit in my business. The same thing. It's not as though I started this podcast and it's like, you know, I put it out on social media and everything took off. I started the podcast, I did interviews for an entire year without ever selling anything, right?

And then I started learning about coaching and I decided to sign up for a coaching program. And then I, you know, sold one, uh, program that was like a group program. And it was just all of these kind of micro decisions over and over and over and over again until it created what I have today. And I have seen this over and over again, not only with like the people that I coach, but when I started this podcast and I was doing interviews and I was mostly interviewing people that were quitting, that had quit and made big life transitions every interview I did, the reason I wanted to do those interviews is because I wanted people to see that everyone's journey was like that. It was never like a linear, I just made a decision. I started this other business and I just became successful at it, right?

It was like a million back, two steps forward, one step back. I didn't know what I wanted to do here. I, you know, met this person, then I went and did this and I did an, you know, internship for that. And then I learned this and, and it's always these like millions of decisions that lead you there. And so I want you to understand that like this myth that there is one big decision that you have to make is just that it's a myth. It doesn't work that way. And so we can kind of get that out of our head. The second thing I want you to realize with like making these small decisions, why it's preferable beyond the fact that it doesn't add undue stress to you is that it helps you build trust with yourself. Okay? And one of the, the hardest things for a lot of us is that we have eroded our own self self-trust.

And we've done that in a number of ways. One is that we have listened to what other people want for us and we've ignored what we want. So like we have that deep pit in our stomach. We have that kind of intuitive hits that saying like, this isn't right. I don't want this, or I shouldn't be in this situation, or I don't wanna be in this relationship. And we keep ignoring it. And what we do when we ignore that is that we have eroded kind of trusting ourselves. 'cause we're like, well, I don't listen to my own voice. I listen to what other people say, right? And oftentimes we get to the place where we're like, I'm in a place where I don't wanna be. And I got here because I listened to what everybody else said, and that is not a great place to be.

And that's okay. We all do it because we've all been sort of programmed in a society that told us to listen to teachers and listen to our parents. And we don't know. And other people know better. And so sometimes it takes relearning and rebuilding that self-trust of like, I do know what's best for me, or I do know what to do next. And so I think that when you can, when you feel really overwhelmed with a transition or something, a decision that you have to make, I think that oftentimes it's because you're looking at the next 10 steps. You're looking at a hundred steps. And it's not to say that you never can plan. Of course, sometimes you wanna plan and you wanna have a lot of steps that you have to look at. Sure. But you can only take one step at a time.

And I think a telltale sign when you are feeling overwhelmed is that you are trying to do too many things. You're trying to look at too many things. And so part of it is shrinking it back to being like, what is the next step? What is one step that I can take here? What is one step that I, that isn't as scary, right? That doesn't take everything that I don't need to know all the answers for. I just need to know the answer for this. And the more you do it, not only does it become manageable, not only does it become doable and you actually get into action, but you start building trust with yourself, right? You start seeing like, okay, I took this tiny action and I did it. I can handle this, right? You teach yourself, I can handle that. You, you strengthen that neural pathway.

Like I can figure this out. I figured this step out now it's just the next step. I just have to figure out. I don't have to know the whole path. I don't have to know how all of this goes. I just need to know like what's next, right? This is like when you look at any type of study or any type of behavioral science on like habits, like this is what they teach is micro steps. Because the more you build, instead of we all want the dream of like in three months, I'm a different person. I'm all of a sudden organized. I wake up in the morning, I work out every day, I never procrastinate. But that's not reality. That's not how your brain works. And so if you can slow down and decide like, can I just make these tiny habits? Can I make this one decision?

Can I make one decision for today without putting the pressure of like, I have to do this now every single day for the rest of my life, right? When you start doing that, you build that trust with yourself that like, okay, I am this person that now, you know, wakes up early every day, or I'm this person that woke up early today. Look, I can do it right? And so I want you to really think about what is one decision that you can make right now to move yourself forward on some kind of transition that you wanna make. You don't have to have a whole career change. You don't have to launch that whole business. You don't have to, you know, change the whole relationship. But what is one thing? Can you reach out to one person? Can you watch one webinar? Can you, you know, spend 10 minutes journaling?

Can you put out that one Instagram post? What's one thing that you can start doing that can take you to the next step? It doesn't have to take you all the way to um, the final, you know, the the finish line. It just has to take you one step closer. And that leads me to the final point about this. I think that we don't realize how much these micro decisions, these small steps can cause huge transformation. I think we think that we need a huge step for huge transformation. And the, it couldn't be further, further from the truth. It's this thing called the compound effect. I've talked about this forever, but I will always doubt Darren Hardy's book The Compound Effect. 'cause it fundamentally shifted how I thought about my life and what I do in my life and how I take these steps. But when you think about these little micro steps that you're taking, it's not just taking one after another.

It snowballs, right? So part of what happens is that when you start taking little steps towards things, you allow your identity to change. What I mean by that is like when you start, let's say you wake up one day early or you start going hard and you want to wake up every day at 5:00 AM okay? When we set a goal, that's what we do. You go like three days, then you kind of give up when you start doing this thing where you do like a little, let's say, instead of at, you know, 7:00 AM you wanna start waking up now, like at 6 45, you're just taking a little bit of a step to wake up earlier. So when you start doing that, and you can actually stick to it 'cause it's not as big of a step, it's not as like you're not going from waking up at 8:00 AM to waking up at 5:00 AM You're going from eight to 7 45.

Let's say you start, it starts becoming a natural thing. Like yeah, I'm just someone that wakes up 7 45, then you can move it to seven 30, right? Then you move it to seven 15. Let's just say as an example, you start shifting the thing as like, I am somebody who gets up at seven 30, right? You may not have that belief consciously, but we, we create beliefs about who we are and what we do. And oftentimes when you give yourself enough time to do things in little steps, you allow your, your identity to shift with that. You allow yourself to see like, oh, I'm somebody that does this consistently over time, right? I think that when you look at goal setting, one of the reasons that, um, when you reach a goal, it doesn't actually feel as great as you think it will is because the person you were, when you picked that goal, like it seemed impossible.

But part of getting a goal is going through that journey of becoming that person that does that. So by the time you do it, it's not as hard as you, you know, it's not as big of a deal. So let's say if you wanna run a marathon when you haven't run at all and you think about running 26 miles, it sounds insane and you think it's gonna be like the biggest high of your life, but you spend months and months and months and months and months training, right? Making a bunch of little decisions. The decision not to sit on the couch, the decision to go, you know, go for the run, the decision to come back to stretch, to go get maybe a sports massage that you don't lock up to sit in the sauna for 30 minutes to eat a certain food. Like you're making all of these tons of micro decisions and then you become a person that becomes a runner over that time, right?

You become that identity of the person that does that. And so by the time you get there, it's not as in, you know, unfathomable to you because you're doing it. And so you have become this person. And so it's a little bit bittersweet, but it's because you got the thing you wanted, right? You became not just that you crossed the finish line, but you became that person. And I've seen this over and over again with my own life and with the people that I coach. And one of the reasons that I'm such a stickler for picking one goal throughout a year is because I think that you can pick these goals where you take small action over time so you actually stick to it instead of getting super overwhelmed. 'cause you wanna take these huge sweeping things and you get stressed out, you're taking little steps towards the thing that you wanna do and that compounds and snowballs and becomes bigger and bigger and you become a different person, right?

And those, those, um, changes create these massive transformations in your life. They become, maybe it doesn't happen overnight or in a month or three months. Maybe it takes a year or two years or three years, but that time passes. And in that time you've taken a a million baby steps, a million little steps, and it becomes this like compound interest, right? It becomes this thing that exponentially pays off. So you may not see the result on day 10, but you see the result on day 400, right? And it becomes a game changer. And so I want you to really think about how you're approaching whatever change it is in your life that you want. If you want a new job, if you want a new relationship, if you wanna have hobbies in your life, if you want, um, exercise, you want to feel a certain way in your body, I want you to think about like, how can I break that down into a bunch of micro decisions and into a bunch of smaller things that I have to just do today that are not as hard, that is like a minimum baseline of like, okay, can I just move it up 15 minutes?

Can I go for a 15 minute walk instead of trying to go for two hours? Can I reach out to one person instead of having a whole list of like reaching out to 30 people on LinkedIn? Can I do small things to prove to myself, like, Hey, I can do this. It's not as hard as I thought. And it is making a difference. One of the harder things is getting yourself to kind of, um, stick with something when you don't see the results with this, right? So part of this is seeing that like, even if I only reach out to one person, that does make a difference. And so you have to work on your mindset about it. You have to keep your brain in this idea of like, these big life changes, these big like sweeping changes that I think I'm supposed to do are actually what's gonna get me to quit.

And so how can I just stick with the small stuff? How can I stick with a small step here, a small step there? How can I build that self-trust? How can I change my concept so that I can actually go after the thing that I want? Okay? So I want you to just, like I said, the exercise I want you to do is pick one small step that you can take towards the change you want, right? The last thing I'll say about this is that for most of us, there's no way for us to know the whole path. There's no way to know all the steps. If you want to start a business, if you wanna write a book, if you wanna become a speaker, if you wanna change your job, if you wanna make more money, you wanna get married, whatever, it's, there is no way for you to know how is this gonna look the whole way?
You know, what is every pitfall? How am I gonna, you know, there's just, there's no way until you do it. And I think for a lot of us where we, when we are wanting to make a big change, we wanna know the whole plan. We wanna know how it's gonna go. And if you're waiting for that, you're gonna wait forever. And so part of learning to accept and really embrace micro decisions is like, okay, how can I know the next step? That's it. What if I, it's okay that I don't know how it's gonna go. It's okay that I don't know where it's gonna go. It's okay that I don't even know if it's gonna go anywhere, but how can I take one step and then figure out the next one? It becomes so much more doable when you only have to figure out the next decision and the next and the next instead of overwhelming yourself with figuring out the whole plan.

Okay? So you don't have to change your whole life today. You just have to take one micro step, one micro decision, and then another and another. And each day you can give yourself time to catch up to take the next one. None of it has to be these big sweeping changes, right? Um, and if you want help with that, I want you to join me in the club. 'cause this is like really my bread and butter. This is what I help you do is kind of figure out how do we break things down so that we get out of this mindset of like all or nothing really big, you know, whatever. How do we kind of break it down to like, what are some manageable things that I'm actually gonna stick with that I'm actually gonna do so I can actually start seeing change? Okay? So if you want to join the Twitter club for this last run, you can go to the twitter club.com/enroll and join us for the next seven months. I can't wait to kind of dive into this work and help you all make these micro decisions and take these micro steps so that you can start making really big changes in your life. All right, my friends, I hope this was helpful and I will see you next week.