Hello my friends, and welcome to another episode. I'm so excited to have you here. I wanna Talk about Something that came up in my community, my membership, the Quitter Club. And it's something that I have talked About a lot in my community, but I wanted to make sure that I talk about it Here with You.

And that is how To Find fulfillment in your life and the advice that may not Be, I know what you expect, maybe from someone that helps people, um, find better careers or find careers that make them happy. And this sort of Piggybacks off of an episode I did, Um, a couple weeks ago Where I talked about, Um, stripping your identity from your job, right? How to find worth outside of work. And so I Highly recommend listening to that episode As well if you have the issue where you Identify so much with What you do. And I think a lot Of us do in this culture because I Think our culture Identifies us with what We do. And I think our, our culture tends to, um, Force this sort of belief that we are what We do. And that's where, you know, whether We are worthy or successful is Really dependent on the type of work we do. And I know that, that for Your Own wellbeing and enjoying of your life, how important it is to Separate those two because You are not what you do.

It's, those are just What you do for money. Um, and so I talk about that in that episode, But Today I wanna talk a little Bit about this idea Of fulfillment and, um, excitement and fun and joy. I get a lot of people who feel Very unfulfilled, Who feel very bored, who feel very, Um, don't really know what they wanna do. They don't know what, what they wanna do in their career. They don't, They just know that what they're doing is not working and it is not fun. I don't know if that's the right word. It's just, It isn't fulfilling. It's not something they're like super passionate about, which I get, and I've done tons of episodes, If You've listened for a while Where I talk a lot About how I think this is a trap.

And I don't think everyone needs to have a passion, and you don't need to be passionate about your job, Especially. But for today, part of what I wanna talk about is if you are Looking for that, if you Feel That in your life, if You feel a little bit sort of, Um, in a rut and you feel really unfulfilled and you feel like Everything's Kind of boring, it's like you go to work, you come home, you watch Netflix, Like that's it. I know it can be really tempting to try to find that in your career Because You're spending so much time there. So it makes sense, of course. Like if I'm spending, you know, 70% of my waking hours somewhere, then I want that place to be something that excites me. And I get that.

And I'm not saying that that's not even possible, I think it is, But My advice To people always is find it outside of work first. I think that what has happened for so many of us is that We have Put an overemphasis on work. And it is because it takes up a lot of our time. But I think that we expect work to fulfill a lot of things that work was never supposed to fulfill or that it's not going to fulfill, at least for the near future. And one of the hard things that happens is when we, you know, over identify with work, and that becomes really our whole personality. It's all we really have. It's all we have to kind of talk about. It's where we maybe where a lot of our relationships, even with our coworkers are. Um, it, it puts you in a vulnerable position because that can be taken away, right?

You can get laid off, um, you can get fired, you can decide to quit. And what I talked about in the last, in that episode about identity is a lot of people don't end up quitting because their identity is so tied up in this job that even if they're miserable, they don't know who they are without that job. And I think that that happens with a lot of us. Um, even outside of like, like with fun and joy and passions and hobbies, none of us have 'em, right? It's like we are so exhausted or we tell ourselves we're so exhausted after work that we come home and by the time you make dinner and you know, you kind of veg out on the couch, it's time to go to bed. And then you get up and you do it all over again. And a lot of our days become really monotonous and that is why they become really unfulfilling.

And I remember when I left the law, I really thought like I had no other skills or passions. I thought that I was a very, I I used to say that I'm like the least creative person you will ever meet. Like I'm a very analytical, kind of logical type person. I've never really been creative in the traditional sense and I never had any hobbies. And so I was really at a loss for like, what I wanted to do because there was nothing that I really like loved. I wasn't really passionate about anything. I didn't wanna turn anything into a business. And so I felt as though I really had nothing else. And I don't want that for you. The truth of it is that I have tons of curiosities now. I have tons of passions and I have tons of hobbies because I allowed myself to actually pursue them, right? I actually allowed myself like, gave myself the time to do some things that brought me joy. And with each thing, it wasn't that I like, became really good at that thing or it, you know, turned into a business. It just taught me more about myself.

It taught me what does light me up, what doesn't, what gives me energy, what zaps my energy, what I find fun, what I don't. And it brought a whole lot of joy into my life, right? If nothing else, it brought me a lot of like, um, joy in trying new things. It allowed me to like fail and try something new and be bad and be a beginner and be okay with that. And it really opened me up to like, wow, there's just like no limit to the things I could try. And so if you follow me on Instagram, you see like

I'm in very heavily leaning into my creative era and I'm doing a lot of like embroidery, cross stitching. I do this like paint by numbers thing, which isn't, you know, technically because that doesn't require a lot of technical skills. It's simply like coloring in the lines. But I love it. It like absolutely brings me so much joy. Um, whether it's baking or You Know, coloring in a coloring book or Whatever it is, I Read a lot now I journal a lot and I didn't do any of these things. And I really think back to my life back then. And I realize like the reason it was so gray, Like yes, there was the law, but it was also that I just had nothing else that brought me joy. And I feel like for most people That

I've seen that I've worked with, when you do engage in play, when you do engage in things that spark Joy, When you follow your Curiosities, it Opens up Possibility In your mind. It Opens Up your brain to new ideas. It For whatever reason, sparks Things. And I think a lot of people, it's not that you're gonna turn in that, you know, pottery into a business. It's that being in that engaged in that act, if that Sparks joy for you, helps you access other parts of your brain, right? It helps you get out of this like depressive kind of like gray corporate world where It's like, wah, everything is sad. And

I'm sort of trying to, you know, in the kind of the stress world Where You're thinking about finances and you're thinking about all the things you have to do the weekend and how you're far behind or whatever, and it puts you in this state Of peace And calm and zen and joy and happiness and childlike wonder. And that is where you can access other things, right? That is where you can access, like maybe I want to try A creative field. Maybe I wanna be in a field where I'm around people. Whatever it is, it Starts helping you open up to thinking about what it is That you actually like. If nothing else, even if you don't get your career Out of it, It just brings more joy. And I think for so many of us, We have so Over identified with our Careers, we have So over identified with The Person that we're supposed to be at work That I think a lot of us don't really know who we are anymore.

And there's tons of studies now and there's tons of like, you know, literature on how important Play is For the adult mind, right? How important play is. Of Course it's, and I unfortunately, I know that we live In a culture that Doesn't, um, prioritize it. So it's up to you to prioritize it, right? It's up to you to decide that like I Have to find time for myself to simply play, to simply have something that doesn't Require Any output, That Doesn't require me to succeed at it, quote Unquote, doesn't Require me to be good at it doesn't require anyone to see it, But It simply is play. That might be dance, that might be movement, that might be, um, like I said, like A Creative outlet that might be gardening, that might be cooking, it could be anything for you. But I want you to like really think about like, What is it for me? What does spark Some joy? And what if you can't come up with anything?

One of the easiest Ways to do it is to just really think about what you're curious about, right? You don't have To have a passion for it. It doesn't, passions aren't something that is just Like are, that's there. They're developed, they grow, they grow Because you put in the time into it. So maybe you've been curious About, like I said, Making a certain meal from scratch or you wonder how people do it kind of on TikTok or Maybe You have been curious about that. You know, Dance class that's like heels On a pole or whatever. You wanna like learn how to do that. That sounds kind of cool 'cause you would never let yourself do that in like normal life. Or maybe you, like I said, like with me, like you want something in solitude by yourself. You wanna paint, okay, great. Find something, try it.

You don't have to stick with it. You can do it for a month and quit, right? Try a different class. Maybe you wanna try pickleball 'cause you wanna be in a community and you wanna be active. There's A million different things you can do. And I think that for a Lot of us, The more you cultivate A life outside of work, The more A The importance of work diminishes, which Is a good thing. Like the more where Like work Doesn't become the sole Focus Or the most interesting thing about you, and it's not by the way, um, the more you learn to tap into, like I said, What is your flow? What is your the, your place of like joy? Um, and the more you just find Happiness, I feel Like the more I've done this stuff, the more I've Realized that Happiness will never be at the end of like huge big accomplishments.

It's not like me needing to Grow This business to a certain account amount or hit a certain number. It Really does come from little things. It comes from things that Are So minuscule and seem So crazy that they Elicit so much joy. Like, I can't tell you how much this fricking embroidery makes me happy. I don't even know why I honestly can't explain it. But when I'm like embroid making a picture and by the time I'm done with it, like the whole time I had a good time. It's Hours and hours of me sitting here just stitching this, This thread. But it makes me So Unreasonably happy. And again, I don't know why, but I'm like, why wouldn't I want that in my life? I'm so sad that I didn't have that in my life for years and years. I was Always just Deadlines and work and, you know, doing what needed to be done and making sure everyone else was taken care of. And now it's not that you need a ton of time.

My friends always ask me, they're like, how do you have all the time to do this? And I'm like, I don't need that much time. I do like 30 minutes of Embroidery or I'll do, You know, when I put the kids to bed and maybe I'll take like an hour to do painting sometimes while I'm listening to an audio book, but other times it might even be like 10 minutes here and there. I just like have my embroidery thing next to, um, the tv. And like if I'm sitting with the kids and they're doing their homework, I'll just take it out and I'll like be doing that while they're doing their homework and I'm helping them. I find different times to do it. It's not as though I need like hours and hours to sit around and work on my hobbies, but I do need some time. I do need to find some time for myself. And the more I've done that, the more I've become clear on who I am and what I want. And I, the more I've been able To access different Facets of myself and different things that I didn't know, like, like I said, I mean, I still don't consider myself creative in the sense that maybe other Artists maybe do, but I realize like There's so much creativity in the things that I like to do, Right? And I like to put my own spin on them. And whether that is, it's not like a traditional Creative field, whether it's Hosting a party and how I set Out the spread Or, um, maybe making a certain dessert or Whatnot. It's like I Allow my creativity to come out because I haven't boxed it in by these like constructs of Society of like what gets to be Creative or whatnot.

And I feel like the more I explore that, the more I'm finding those different parts and I'm finding different things that maybe I'll wanna try in the future. And one of the funniest things is like, I feel like People have So much stigma around like starting and stopping things or thinking like I never stick to things. Such a Silly idea. Like who's that? You have to stick to Things. I Have Gone through so many hobbies, like as I've done this, like I tried, um, macrame, I hated it, , I was like, Nope, not for me. Great. Now I know, right? I might do embroidery for a month or two and I might get sick of it. I might get to the boys where I'm like, all right, It scratched that Itch and now I wanna go try something else. Right now I wanna do something else. There's certain things like for me with dancing, I know I will dance For the rest of My life. I love dancing. Like that's not something that's gonna go away.

And then there's other ones that I pick Up for a time And then I don't want it anymore and I put it back down and I go do something else. Because the point of it is not that it has to turn into something, I don't have to become an expert at it. I don't even have to become good at it. It's Simply because It sparks Joy in me because it, It Adds something outside Of work And family and deadlines and helping everybody. And I think the more You fi look for that, The more you cultivate That, The more fulfilled you Will be regardless of what your career is. Because this Thing is, I hate to be the bearer or bad news, But it doesn't matter how much you love your career, it doesn't matter If It's your dream career, it doesn't matter how good You are at it, It can never be the thing that will fulfill You In all of your life.

It just can't. It's gonna be 50 50. Part of it's gonna be great, part of it's gonna suck. And you still need other things To fill those buckets for you. Like you, if you Are looking for more connection or more joy, you need to find it in other ways. You need to figure out like where are you gonna be in a community that you get connection or where do you, What sparse your joy? Or if you want to satisfy That curiosity Or you wanna grow and you wanna learn, maybe that doesn't come from your work. I think when you take the Pressure off of your work, Having to fulfill all that and you find it in other places, one, it makes it easier To just be okay at Work. Like maybe you're working a job that isn't gonna be the love of your life, But it is Paying the bills and it's fine and it doesn't really need to have all that drama.

It does what it's Supposed to do and it funds your life and in your life you get to do a bunch of other things that you love or maybe it Does lead to like, When you have access to these parts of you, you know so much more about yourself. You kind of understand how you tick and how you operate and you look more for things like that. And that's great. And that is what ends up sparking the ideas of like what you wanna do next. I think for so many of us, we just stay stuck in like, I don't want this, but I don't know what else I want and I'm not willing to try anything else. And I know oftentimes we think trying other things means like trying other jobs, but I have just found from the people that I've worked with too, that the more you try things outside of your job, the more you try things outside of work, the more you find clarity with what you wanna do with your life. And so this is my plug, even if it doesn't lead to you figuring out what you wanna do for your work, it just leads to more happiness. And we all could use that a lot more in this day and age.

Honestly, I feel like right now is the most important time for you to really lean in on things that bring you joy. So find one thing, find one hour a week that you can do. You don't have to make this overwhelming, you don't have to do a bunch of stuff. I'm telling you, I'm, I just started doing this this year and I've been cultivating this for years where it's like I would allow myself an hour maybe here and there and now I greatly take a lot of time for myself. Um, but it took me a while to get over that guilt and stuff. And so you don't have to jump into the deep end. Like just find one hour a week where you can try something new or you can do something that doesn't have a point to it where there doesn't have to be a result where it doesn't have to be something that you're good at, um, where you get to just fail and be a kid and enjoy and play. And it will make more of a difference than you can know. It may not make a difference that first week, but I promise you stick with it and you will be blown away by how much little things can shift. How you perceive your life, how happy you're in your life, the energy levels you have. Um, I think that it can, it's one of the most overlooked things that we have.

Like you may do a lot of mindset work, you might do a lot of meditation, you might do a lot of stress relieving stuff. You might do things to like for your health, but if you don't have play in there, um, I think you're missing on a fundamental thing that makes being human fun and that makes this life fun. And if you want that fulfillment, you have to start playing more. So here's my plug to go out and play. I hope that you take my advice and I hope that this was helpful. And I will be back next week with another episode.