A panel discussion with Quitter Club members
Ep. 271
| with

Follow Along:

In this episode, I have a candid conversation with three incredible women who share their personal journeys and the transformations inside their yearlong membership to the Quitter Club. Marissa, Sarah, and Rithu reveal how they found themselves feeling stuck and overwhelmed in different aspects of their lives, from careers to personal struggles. They discuss their initial reasons for joining the Quitter Club and how the powerful approach to managing their minds has helped them regain control, find hope, and make positive changes. Their stories illustrate that regardless of the circumstances, the resources inside the Quitter Club offer relatable and life-changing tools that can reshape your perspective and empower you to lead a more fulfilling life. Tune in to discover how they learned to separate thoughts from reality and apply these concepts to various areas of their lives.

Show Transcript
Hey, welcome to Lessons from a Quitter, where we believe that it is never too late to start over. No matter how much time or energy you've spent getting to where you are, if ultimately you are unfulfilled, then it is time to get out. Join me each week for both inspiration and actionable tips so that we can get you on the road to your dreams.
Hello my friends. Welcome to another episode. I'm so excited for this one. I have a panel of my students that are in the Quitter Club that were founding members. And what that means is I opened the Quitter Club up last year and I opened it up to founding members for a special price where they got to join for the entire year for a thousand dollars, more than half off of what the monthly rate is and what the monthly rate would be.
But it required a year commitment and I really wanted to see who was getting more results, people that committed for the whole year, or would, you know people that are coming in month to month get the same results. And I wanted to have them on to talk about their experience, why they joined and what they've gotten out of it and really the value that they see. Because no matter how much I try to describe it, I know it's different, hearing it from other people and seeing what other people, what expectations they had and what ended up actually happening for them.
And so I've asked them on and I'm so excited to have them and I have them on because as a special announcement, the doors for the critical lab are actually open today and they're open for a week and we have something really special.
Again, I have not offered that founding member price for the last year. It was a one-time thing last September and we were sort of doing it as an experiment. But what I have seen is that the people that commit to a year and give themselves the time and space to be inconsistent, to show up when they can and let life happen when it happens, and to come back to it and to work on different building blocks and to keep using coaching to help them no matter what the issues are coming up, are the ones that are making huge strides. And I want that for all of you. And so this week only, we are opening back up with the yearly price a thousand dollars, which comes out to like $83 a month where you get weekly coaching and a private podcast feed and all the videos and lessons and all the community and all the support you hear about today where you start creating not only a career but a life that you actually love, right?
A life that you don't need to escape from, where you start finding your own humanness and get rid of all the shame and the blame and the kind of mental prison that we are all stuck in beating ourselves up every day. If you want that, I so desperately want it for you. And so I want you to join me in this week you can go to lessonsfromaquitter.com/quitterclub and join us. I hope you do. This year is gonna be amazing. I have a lot kind of coming up in the next year and we have a special bonus if you join within the first day. So if you hear this on Tuesday the 19th and you are ready to go join today because you will get a free ticket to a virtual workshop that I'm doing, that's an all day workshop that is going to help you plan out your entire next year and know exactly what you're gonna work on in your 90 day goals. And we're gonna go through all of the things that you need to do to figure out what you want and start going after it.
So if you're ready to go, don't wait. Join us and get that awesome bonus and get an entire year for less than the cost of what you spend going to Target. It's unreal and I want you all in there. I can't wait to see the new group of people that come in this week and to really facilitate this incredible community of supportive, like-minded, amazing people that are all wanting more for their life and they're no longer gonna accept the status quo of dreading every week and pushing through and just accepting that this rollercoaster of an emotional ride that we go through in life is just the way it has to be.
And I hope that today's panel shows you that it doesn't because these are three incredible women who are in very different paths doing very different things, all using thought work to fundamentally change their lives. And I'm honored to have been a small part in their journey and I'm so excited that they're in the Quitter Club continuing this. And so without further ado, I will stop talking and let you guys listen to the amazing Quitters that are in my Quitter club.
Hello everyone. Thank you so much for joining me today. I am so excited to have you guys on the podcast and to share your stories and your journeys with so many people that are likely in the same place that you were or that you are. Because I think a lot of this stuff intellectually sounds great, but as we all know, it's just a different beast when you're actually applying it to the problems in your own life. I know for me it's very helpful to see other people be able to apply it and see the changes. And you guys have been such a beautiful example of that. So I wanted to introduce you to all of my other people. So thank you for joining me. I wanna go around and maybe you can give just a brief introduction of yourself and just tell us sort of what brought you to the Quitter Club before joining like a year ago, where you were and what you were looking for. So why don't we start with you Marissa.
Hi, happy to be here. So I'm Marissa. I've been in the Quitter Club coming up on a year now and was actually in a cohort for six months prior in your previous program. I came to this looking to find some hope in my life. I guess I was in a place personally, professionally that I felt like in despair, constant overwhelmed overwhelm. And so I listened to one of your podcasts and it was about guilt and it just struck me so hard that I didn't even realize I was choosing that emotion or that my mind was going there. And so I've been working with you for intermittently almost two years now.
I love that. I think so many people do feel the same way, where they feel like there is this dread and there's this despair. And I think that's one of the hardest emotions is that hopelessness. I know for me the biggest benefit of finding thought work was the hope of oh, there is something I have control over that I didn't know I had control over. And that shifted everything 'cause otherwise it was like I'm at the mercy of everybody else and there's nothing else I can do. And as soon as I learned like Oh, there is something I can do, it truly changed everything in my life. I, I think a lot of people kind of relate to that before part. Were you looking to like quit your career? Were you looking to find another career or was it simply that you were looking to manage the career that you had?
Oh, I didn't know what I wanted. I wanted to find a path forward where I felt less overwhelmed. I didn't come in with a preconceived notion of finding a different job or quitting my job. I've been with my company for coming up on 15 years and had most of my professional career there and I didn't know if I needed to leave to find a better life or find a more fulfilling life. So where I am now is just managing my mind around my current job and company and no plans of changing it anytime soon because I've come to this place where managing my mind has helped me regain who I am.
I think a lot of people feel that way where it's like, well I don't know. Do I have to just change the job because I don't know how to gain control over this? And we see this a lot where once you do learn how to manage your mind, it starts becoming so much more manageable and even the career that you have starts becoming more enjoyable and it starts becoming something where it's like I am in a good place and I do like this now that I can manage the stress they have. So can you tell us a little bit about where you are now, kind of how you feel like you've found your yourself and what that means to you and like what you've regained through doing this work?
I think I was always so concerned with others and what they were perceiving me as and expecting everyone else to take this as seriously as importantly as I did. And so I think a lot of my challenge came through not necessarily expectations anyone else was putting on me, but more so expectations I was putting on others, wanting them to want what I want for them. So now I'm in a place where I have done some manuals, some boundaries. I've taken up personal hobbies and stopped working late into the evenings and have started to balance my professional life with my personal life. And surprisingly my professional life is not suffering. If anything it's flourishing because I'm able to set it down and walk away and come back with a fresh mind and there's a point where you keep investing and it's really not gaining anything more and just creating more panic and more stress. Yeah, so I feel like I can breathe .
I love that you brought that up because I think it is, you know when we think about okay, if I get any balance then I'm gonna drop some balls or it's I'm gonna end up not doing as well. And it's amazing how much being in that burnout is what's causing us to not do well. And when we can take some time to breathe and have hobbies and do things outside of work and leave at a normal hour and have a life how much, not only that like obviously adds to the joy that you have but like to your work because you don't have the resentments and the anger and the burnout and the exhaustion and so you can come in not as affected and with a clear mind and actually just get to the work that you need to get to. So I love that. Thank you. Well thank you for being here Marissa.
Sarah, why don't we go to you next. Why don't you let us know like where you were before you joined the Quitter club and what you were looking for.
Hi, thanks for having me. So I had been a stay-at-home mom for 10 years and I was looking to get back into work and specifically like launching a business by the point that I found you, I was listening to your podcast, I attended a bunch of your free coaching calls and actually one of your coaching calls really got me over that hump of actually launching. So I was super grateful for that. So by last year I started the business, I was still juggling family, kids were almost in full-time school so I was kind of ready to be like full-time in my business and I just knew that I needed support with all the mental drama that was gonna be around that, about being worried, going all in on something that I wasn't sure is this it is this like the career that I want.
And personally, so obviously the pandemic was very difficult for everybody. And so between like 20, 20, 20, 21 I had gone through um, a pretty severe depression with anxiety and with therapy, got medication and last summer I was definitely stable, things were fine but I just wasn't enjoying life at all. Um, it just felt like I wasn't looking forward to anything. Everything felt like a grind and I just felt like therapy had gotten me to a certain point and couldn't get me to a, a new place.
So I loved, you know, listening to your podcast and I liked your philosophy and everything so I thought this could be a more kind of forward-thinking, practical way of like just moving me ahead in like my mood and my just enjoyment of life.
Yeah, I think there's so many people in the club that either do coaching simultaneously with therapy or it's like what you said, it was like therapy has gotten me to a certain point. Like I went from maybe being bad to good but I wanna go from like good to great. I wanna go to a place where I'm kind of more future focused as opposed to maybe I think sometimes in therapy we tend to be more past focused, which is necessary and oftentimes like what's healing past traumas. But I think that when people come in the club, you know there is a lot of talk of people that talk very openly about their being in therapy and doing this and I think they are really great together because I think they do different things and I love that you talked about kind of the building the business because there's also so many people that are either building side hustles or building their businesses and really I feel like the vast majority of entrepreneurship is just mindset work because there's so much self-doubt and fear and you know, uncertainty that can really creep up and paralyze us and get us to not act or get us to quit when there's really no problem. Like the business might be doing well but it's just that we've told ourselves we're not good enough, it's not gonna happen. Why you're wasting time, everyone's gonna judge you, whatever all the thoughts are.
So I love that you joined like knowing that you're gonna need that support And I'm actually like outlining on a podcast about so many women that spent 10 years, 15 years, 20 years at stay-at-home moms and then wanna come back into the working force and how accessible that is if we let ourselves think it's accessible. Because so many people tell themselves like well I don't have any skills, I haven't done it for this long, I can't go back. So I love that you're an example of that, like an example of what's possible of being able to have had that chapter and be willing to like start a new one and build the business.
How do you think that this kind of mind management and thought work has helped you in both the business and personally
So much. I think I was dealing with a lot of thoughts about what other people think and how what I was doing now compared to what I was doing before I stayed home with my kids, which was in an academic role and my business is very practical, the product business, it's nothing to do with what I was doing before. Starting a business really felt like my only option at that point. I needed flexibility, I needed to be able to be home with my kids, I needed to be able to work at weird hours. And so it made total sense. But yeah, I was just struggling with a lot of those thoughts about is this it and should I be doing this? And now I just, I really much more see it as an experiment. Like this is what I'm doing now and I'm learning so much building this business and those skills will transfer to my next project. And you've really helped me see, especially in the last few weeks, that you can be all in on something and it doesn't have to be forever. You can burn it all down whenever you want . And that thought is so comforting. ,
It's so liberating. I love that.
So I'm enjoying it much more because it takes all of that pressure off. I still put a lot of pressure on myself about revenue growing and that kind of stuff, but seeing it as an experiment and getting the learning out of it is a big mind shift.
Such a huge shift, right? Because I think when you can start looking at things as experiments and realizing like I can change my mind at any point or I can make tons of mistakes and I'm, that's how I learn, right? It takes off the pressure just opens us up to experiment and it's just like opens us up to like not need to know how to do it perfectly or the right way in order to get started, right? We just had a coaching call where we came up with , our new tagline, I don't know, um, this last week and it was like the club where we mess sh*t up and it's just like can we just get out and just mess some sh*t up and see what happens? Because it's, 'cause we were laughing about this deathly fear that we all have of like, what if I make a mistake?
It's like yeah you're gonna, so let's just know that and let's know we can change our mind and who cares and let's just try things. So I love that you have had that shift because it can be more enjoyable, right? Like the point of entrepreneurship is to have that flexibility is to see what you can build is to grow, is to have all these things and so many of us are like white knuckling it and it and just like dreading it and pushing through and it's like it could be so much more enjoyable if we just kind of shift how we look at it. So I love that
And the business is doing better because of that. You know, I try more, I don't hesitate so much about sending an email like I'm like okay, like if they don't respond, they don't respond. Like I've taken a lot of the like emotional drama out of a lot of things and so you could just get more done . Yes.
Oh my god it's way
More efficient.
It's amazing how your thoughts create your results, right? Yeah. And it's like if you're, you really do have different thoughts, then you're taking different actions and when you're not in this drama of like, did I use an exclamation or a period, you know and it's like just send the email like who cares what is happening? You get so much more done and it doesn't, you know, it's like doesn't have to be perfect. And that snowballs and just like what we were talking about with Marissa, it's like we're so terrified that if I'm not perfect I won't do as well. And it's like you will do better because you'll actually take action and you'll stop spinning in indecision and you'll like get further faster. And so it's so important to see that your success depends on this, right? Because like we will get in our own way, we'll sabotage until we give up because it's too hard if we don't learn how to, yeah, not care as much and take the pressure off and just have a little bit of fun. So love that. Thank you.
Okay, Rithu us but definitely not least, why don't you tell us a little bit about where you were and why you had decided to join the club and what you were hoping to get outta it. Yes,
Absolutely. And also thank you so much for having me here. So similarly to Marissa, I was part of your six month program prior to the Quitter Club and I feel like I was just scratching the surface with thought work and I looked in my mind I was like how can I continue to work with Goli? Like do I do another six month? But then like luckily you were launching the Quitter Club around that time, which is perfect timing too because I had decided that the best course of action for me at the time was to take a career break and quit my job. And I knew that joining the career club would help me for a couple of reasons for sure. I mean one was definitely like in addition to wanting to work with you, I knew that there was a lot of uncertainty going into my future and I needed to find a way to manage my mind around it. And it just goes to show that no matter what option you choose, your brain is always gonna brain and you're gonna have to find ways to tell yourself that you're in control and find tools to be able to work with it.
And then I think also prior to that I was always very regimented with my career. I was very much like, well step one, step two, step three. And I think it was coming at a really good time last year where I had recently switched industries and I wanted to check in with myself and figure out what I wanted to do next. I never had that space or to give myself the space to figure out what that is and to really let myself fly.
And I think through your podcast and through your previous program, it really allowed me to dig into things I just never knew that I was interested in with that I knew, okay, I wanna take some time one, just take a break and just pause. And then also when I go into the job search just to figure out what I want and to let myself, like you said, experiment, mess around a bit. Because I think before I was a bit too precious with my career and now it's like, oh it's okay if I wanna like be lofty a bit. Like there's nothing wrong with that.
And I felt like I was always pushing off like, oh I'll try it, you know, like next year. And I'm like, okay, well I think now I have no excuse, I'm just gonna try it. And so I think now after, you know, a few months now I'm like okay, I'm in the job hunting process right now. I feel much more emotionally in control than I definitely would've been last year. I feel like also I'm making it less of a personal exercise because I think when you do job hunting it can definitely be a very, you know, your insecurities are kind of brought out. At least for me it definitely was.
And I feel like this makes it a bit more objective to be like, okay, this isn't about me, this is about a process. How can I separate my thoughts from me and my abilities? And I think the Quitter Club has been really instrumental for that but also in other aspects of my life that I can carry that same thought work for.
Yeah, I think what you hit the nail on the head and why I wanted you three on is because it doesn't really matter what the path is. You can stay in your career and decide you love it, you can wanna quit and take some time off. You can build a business, you could do 8 million things. Your brain's gonna brain, it's gonna do the same thing. And it's funny, I would love to hear you guys' opinion on this like when you listen to coaching calls because everybody's in it like they're circumstantially in different places where it's like, I'm staying in this career or I can't quit right now or I've already quit or I'm on a sabbatical or I'm building a business. But the thoughts and feelings are the same. It's like the, the exact same thoughts, exact same feelings. And so it, it is so relatable even if the person's not doing what you want to do, again, we're just talking about is like really being able to just stop the spinning. Like have that distance of like, okay, if I don't make everything about me and how terrible I am or I'm not good enough, like all of our thoughts just come back to that.
And I really look at like this is a process, you know, it's a numbers game. How many jobs do I have to apply to, what are the jobs I wanna have? When can I change my, you know, I can change my mind any time.
It really frees you up to do so many more things to experiment with so much not limit yourself. And so I love that you're seeing that. The other thing I'll say is like one of the reasons I chose to do the Quitter Club is because I saw what, you know, you and Marissa and so many others were going through my six month program and I loved that program.
It was smaller, but one of the things I talk about all the time in the podcast is like it doesn't stop. Like your brain doesn't just stop. Like I still get coaching, right? It's not, I know how to manage my mind and I know how to self-coach and I still benefit from someone being like, Hey, why are you thinking about it this way? And it's like instantly like, oh I don't know why. You know, like this just opened up a whole new way of me thinking. And so when I wanted to do the Quitter Club, it was because every new stage has a new set of thoughts and feelings that you're gonna get to. So like Brit, you, you know, in the first program you kind of got to the point where you decided you were ready to quit and you just took those six months and then it's like, okay, but now I quit and my mind's gonna go crazy about quitting, right?
It's gonna go crazy about like you need to have another job and that you know you're gonna lose all your money and whatever all the thoughts are then when you get the next job you're gonna have the next set of you know, thoughts and worries and fears like, did I make the right choice and do I actually like these people and where's this going and whatever else comes up. It's such a testament to thought work and it's such a great feeling for me that so many of my past students from my six month programs joined the Quitter Club. Because I think when you see the power of this work, when you start realizing like, oh I'm changing aspects of my life and it's not gonna all change overnight, but I can work on like one, you know, block here. I can work on boundaries for a little while. I can work on, you know, giving up my manuals of what other people should be like for a little while. I can work on putting myself out there for a little while and with each thing I sort of grow and change and that's just ever evolving.
And it just goes to show doing this over time how helpful it is because in the beginning it was mind blowing to me that I could even separate my thoughts from myself. I didn't even know that one was a thought versus like reality. Like that blew my mind. I was like, I could actually choose which thoughts to listen to. I was like wow, this is a game changer. I was like, all right, sign me up. Yeah,
It is, it's amazing. I mean that is the most mind blowing thing is realizing you have control and you have some and then from that is like really learning how to implement it all the time in real time.
Yeah, that was a big takeaway for me too, like from the beginning when I yeah realized that circumstances are actually neutral . Yeah I think it was one of the first things we did that first month and I was like, wait a minute,
. You're like, hold the phone.
Yes. I don't have to think this?
Yeah, that's been the biggest shift for me on the personal side 'cause it applies to any situation. It's not just work. Yeah, it's relationships. It's someone says something to you, it's you have an incident like in your business or you know, professionally or personally with a family and it's such a, it's such a powerful thing to be able to like look at it and just be like this is the neutral circumstance and this is how I think about it.
Totally. And that's why I'm, I'm like so gung ho about this thought work and coaching is obviously I want everyone to have the career they wanna have but it affects every aspect of your life. It affects how you parent, it affects your relationships, it affects your friendships, it affects like you know, your health, whatever it is, it's all starts with your thoughts. I feel like it sort of became like the secret to life. You're like oh my god, if I can change this then I can apply it in every situation and I can apply the same concepts and it can fully transform like not just my work but what hobbies I do and how I spend my personal time and who I engage in relationships with. And so it's pretty phenomenal. That was like the biggest mind blowing thing for me too.
I think for me one of the most helpful things, and you alluded to it earlier, is that although our circumstances are different, the thought work is relatable across the board. Before the Quitter Club and before Pave Your Path, I was in talk therapy but I found myself like not knowing what to say in a one-on-one situation. Think it goes back to like my weaning confidence and being like what do people say in therapy? What should I focus on ? Like this has helped me really relate to other people's situations and bring it into my life. And although different it's the same and it's all of this unlearning and relearning and it's a process that takes a lot of time and for me I can't relate to a month to month but even the six months I felt it slipping away so quickly and this process of learning, I've taken 39 years to learn what I know now I think I need another 39 to unlearn. Um, and so that constant component, I think it has been so valuable for me knowing that I have the sounding board to go to, whether it's the forum or coaching calls and it's just so helpful to hear other people be relatable in the same way.
That is the power of group coaching programs. The thing with talk therapy or when you're doing one-on-one therapy is like you don't have the benefit of normalizing your own thoughts because we believe there's something wrong with us. I shouldn't be thinking this, I just am broken, I have some problem.
And one of the most powerful things is simply normalizing like of course everyone thinks this thought and then you're like oh wait they do then maybe there's not something wrong with me. Maybe I'm just a normal human who has these thoughts. And that in of itself just lifts off so much shame and so much guilt and all this dirty shame and allows us to be like, okay, well maybe I can drop this thought or maybe I can work on it. And there's something so powerful about seeing other people be coached and relating that to what you're going through.
Yeah, the accessibility of the club. I love how many options you have to get coaching and and it can suit you depending on how you feel. Like some days I'm like okay there's a coaching call coming up. I feel like verbally talking to Goli on something but if I feel like writing it out I can do that as an option too. So I feel like no matter what there's always support available and I, like a couple people have actually become my friends like through this program so and yeah which is amazing. Like they have the catch ups regularly, it it's really amazing. And then the other thing too is it's a safe space which another thing that kind of blew my mind cool when we had been coaching maybe a month ago was there's absolutely no judgment or any shame in having to do repetition on the same topics I wanna talk about for months at a time.
You know, in the past I feel like repetition has always been viewed in like a negative light and here it's welcomed because that's how you actually start making strides in progress because like Marissa said, a lot of these things are ingrained in you as a person for like many decades. And so having to learn that you have to appreciate the time and the consistent practice it takes to be able to overcome it. And so once I was seeing that, I just felt so honestly yeah genuinely supported to be able to continue to come back and excel in these skills and it didn't feel like things were not reachable or intangible because it's like no I just have to continue working at it.
Yeah, it's this, it goes back to this like perfectionist fantasies that we have. Like I'm gonna learn one thing one time and then I'm gonna do it perfectly. And it's like that just has never been the case ever with anything that you ever learned. You're gonna like learn the piano and you're not, you're not gonna get one lesson and then know how to play the song. Like you have to keep repeating so that your brain creates those neural pathways. And it's the same thing with thought work. You know when you hear like the coaching calls like people apologize because they're asking the same question. I'm like stop. Let's expect it because that's what we need that repetition and I think you're right that it again normalizes that there's nothing wrong with me. I'm not just like a bad learner.
We're so quick to shame, right? We're so quick to be like, you should know this by now you're better than this. You already know you're not supposed to be thinking this thought. You know? And it's like when you can kind of lift that, it's like of course I practiced this for decades, my brain's gonna take a little while to get on board. I have to keep coming back. The beauty of these types of coaching spaces is that it's a space to like practice over and over again until you feel like more confident
The framework that you have along with the live coaching, the videos I level worksheet it, it is repetitive and I can go back to them and see how my thoughts have changed that tangible action of watching something and doing the homework even though you don't have to do it all but is so helpful in reinforcing the message and the concepts for me,
Yeah, I, I really wanted it to be more of like a buffet and it's like you don't go to a buffet to eat all the food. You go and you pick the thing that you want. And so it's like some people love worksheets and videos, that's great. Some people will never watch one video and do one worksheet and that's also great. It's not homework, you know like we're not in school. It's simply like what is my learning style? Some people love coming to coaching calls and they love like actively getting coached. Some people will never show up but will listen to the podcast replay and just listen on the go and that will like start rewiring their brain and it's really, you know, your style, your time limits, like what you can get to and so the goal is to have something for everyone that they can figure out like what is the support I need right now? And that might change like one month it might be like, you know, I, I need live coaching one month. It's like I'll just write in. But it's all there to kind of help you depending on what you need.
Uh, yeah just to echo all those things. I love the consistency, I love the frequency of contact. So prior I was used to like one hour of therapy a month 'cause that's what I could afford. Whereas this is like multiple contacts a week and it just does re really reinforce all of the messages and learning and I just like that everything is, you know, it is safe and non-judgmental and it's very human and I love that you preface a lot of calls with, you don't have to have the perfect question, you don't have to have it all figured out. Just talk and I'll figure it out with you. Like that's just so calming. Like I still do get a bit nervous to get coached but you know, because I'm thinking this has to be the great question . Yeah but it doesn't and I love that you reinforce that a lot.
Well thank you And I actually that does lead me to another question because I think a lot of people have concerns about joining a membership program because of two things. One is that they're afraid to ask questions in front of a lot of people or in front of any people and get coached on that. And two, I think a lot of people think that they are just gonna be one amongst you know, hundreds and they're not gonna get their questions asked. So as three people who tend to come and get coaching a good, you know, you guys do utilize it, which I love. What's been your experience on that front?
Yeah, I've never experienced a time where I wanted to ask something and couldn't get my question in. I probably get coached about once a month, maybe more, maybe less here and there and that is a good amount for me. I think I would like to do more but it's just that getting over, it's like the gag and go, right? You feel the nervousness and you do it anyway and it's always helpful. So it's just practicing going through that and realizing this will always be helpful. , so just say it .
I know we all get nervous to raise our hands when there's other people on a call and to talk about some things that sometimes are sensitive or maybe we feel some shame or we have a lot of negative emotions. So how do you think that you guys kind of get yourselves to be able to utilize the coaching and ask for the help that you need?
I think for me it's much more worth it to get coached than to sit in my uncomfortable feelings and not process. And so in the beginning I was worried about that 'cause I was used to the previous program which was smelling the people and how, and I'm a self-conscious person sometimes I was like, oh I'm not sure if I'll be able to talk with like multiple people on this call. But I think what helped was one, once you see other people also getting coached to realize that we're all kind of in the same boat and that we're all like being vulnerable and sharing our thoughts. And then I realized that I had more to lose by not sharing because I'm still gonna have the same thoughts and I was like, I'm here for a reason so I'm gonna get coached. It's also a process too, like in the beginning, you know I, I feel like I was less verbal than I am now on it but definitely knowing what you're getting out of it is like Sarah was saying is absolutely worth it.
Yeah it's funny 'cause when you get coached and you're like oh my god, I could clear up this problem in 10 minutes, why was I spinning in it for two weeks And you're like, I'll, I'll be embarrassed a little bit just so I can get the help that I need. Once you've done that and you see that transformation, it becomes easier. The beauty of being in a safe space where other people are talking about stuff that's also vulnerable and you see that everybody's so supportive, not even judgmental and the community is so wonderful to each other and like wanting to help and wanting to reach out and wanting to lend just some positive words and stuff. I think it makes it easier to realize like we're all in the same boat, we're all struggling with the same things and we all, and that in of itself is really powerful, right? Like knowing that I don't have to go through this life and all of this stuff alone. It's not just me,
I too was self-conscious at the beginning and then you see people just start and just do it and then you're able to to gain the value. It's like I have this tribe of, I don't know how many people are in the club anywhere, fifty, a hundred, 200 people that are are rooting for me and that if I am in need of coaching or support, this is available to me at any time. And people really come through and I think we're like-minded individuals that are seeking this greater life, this path to, to enjoy our lives and we can recognize that our struggles in each other. I just think it's a welcoming space
That was really funny was I was getting my as you know, driver's license like 10 years after the fact and I remember I was like everyone's already done this. Like why am I talking about this as I was taking my test and it was like a coach and call maybe a few days before that and I was literally freaking out and the amount of messages I got during the call and after I was like this is why I do this. 'cause it could be a range of anything, right? Like career-wise and then anything from that to like getting your driver's license. And so it just goes to show that it's like anything is like something that's worth being brought up in coaching and there's a you there that's going to be there to support you.
Yeah, absolutely. You as all joined as founding members knowing that you have that year where it's like it's not making a decision every single month. Am I gonna stay am I gonna go? And there's times where like you know, maybe life gets in the way. How would you think that that has maybe affected your experience of it or how do, do you look at it like knowing that you have a a year to really do this work in your own time?
When it comes to the financial commitment of it, the comparison of like we would spend this much on one college course and that is so valued in our society and meanwhile spending that on ourselves for professional growth is just not, it's not readily spoken about going into it and knowing that oh great, I'm gonna have a whole year meeting people working with Goli, having access to these videos, knowing how much I was able to change in six months and feeling like I was just on the beginnings of it. The year just created a sense of comfort of like, okay now I have this to look forward to. It's going to bring peace and thoughts and have the sounding board constantly. So, and it takes the drama out of every month having to make a decision as well. It's just done.
Yeah, I saw it as like a commitment to myself and a commitment to my mental health and an investment in my mental health and I was like, that's just what this takes. It was exciting to have a whole year ahead of me 'cause I do genuinely look forward to all the calls. It's like a highlight of my day usually . So it was just really nice to have that kind of stretch of time in front of me to really dig into everything and not feel like I have to rush and probably a member for life. .
Yeah, I think that it definitely gave me the space to take things at my own pace and I know shame is a very familiar feeling and so it allowed me to let life get in the way if it has to. Sometimes some months are easier to do coaching, some months are harder for you know, various reasons. And it allowed me to say, okay, I know at the end of this year I'm going to see the growth that I want and I'm able to do it at a pace that makes sense for me and I'm not gonna shame myself. I'm not able to get something done because I know I have the next month to to work on something else. And then it also let me see how I'm making improvements in other aspects of my life. 'cause even if I'm like focused on career maybe one month, I'm also able to see how it trickles in other portions like with my friendships, with my family and with like my hobbies that I wanna pursue. And I feel like for me it's really hard to make a commitment or goal set and plan my future if I'm trying to just do it month by month versus if I see a year I can space it out and have the balance that I need to also make the improvements that I want to see. Yeah,
That was really my goal for getting people to commit to a year. Everything that you guys just said. I love, you know, making that commitment to yourself and I think what Marissa you said is so fascinating of like, it's not that when you don't even talk about it, but we are not taught to invest in ourselves. Like certain investments are acceptable. You can take out a hundred thousand dollars loan for a degree you may or may not use, like that's pushed on us. But anything else, especially for women is very difficult. 'cause it's like, oh, should I be spending this money? Should I not? And I watch people now and I, I think about money a lot like money mindset and thoughts and like recently, I mean I think anyone listening to this like Taylor Swift's, you know, tour or Beyonce's tour is coming up, right?
Has gone through the world and it's super fun and I'm not against doing anything that brings you joy, vacations, whatever. But I know tons of my friends who have spent over a thousand dollars to go to a one night Taylor Swift concert like for two tickets or whatever. And it was a great, I'm sure memory, but nobody bats an eye about that. Nobody's like, wait, you're spending how much to go to these concerts? Like it's very much like in our culture to buy things, go to Target and send $200, do all this stuff that you're gonna do to make yourself feel better, like consume and stuff. And when you think about like, am I committing myself and giving this investment on myself over a year to have the support to go through life like this affects every aspect, like every thought. And when I feel all this shame, I can go somewhere where like somebody can just help me figure out like, hey, this is normal and this is okay and let's give ourselves some space to really decide like what is my goals and let's not force ourselves to be perfect and consistent every single week and we're gonna fail.
It is interesting to see like the things that we accept as okay to invest in ourselves and the things that we don't. I think it's changing, you know, obviously now like mental health is becoming more of an accepted field of like that we need to take care of ourselves. Like we're spending more money on therapy, we are doing those things. But it's still, I think for women who have been socialized to believe it's selfish to spend money on yourself. I think like we often think like, oh my god, am I gonna spend a whole thousand dollars on this program? And it's like, do you want support every single week for an entire year? You know? And to me it's a no brainer because I do the same. I'm in memberships for these same reasons because it's like every season of my life brings up different things every season I need support in a different way. And like when I can have some, like somebody like we talked about within 10, 15, 20 minutes help me really comb through so much mental drama. It's like a no brainer at this point. So I'm glad that you guys were having that same experience.
Well ladies, this has been super helpful. Any parting words of advice from your own journeys?
I feel like you don't have to accept those feelings, that misery or dread or dissatisfaction, that if you're having that you can take it seriously. And that's just the starting point for a lot of personal growth that has probably nothing to do with your actual job and or lots to do with it, but it's gonna affect your entire life. It's a sign that you know, there's some work to do and it's like a great opportunity for your own personal transformation. I would just encourage people to take their feelings seriously.
Yeah, I love that. Just the thought that like, you don't have to accept that again, it's goes back to that helplessness, but it's this idea of like, it's almost like a death sentence. Like I just got this sentence for life and I have to just live with this shame forever. And it's like you don't have to, you just don't have to accept that's how your life has to be. And no matter what it is, like if you're a people pleaser and you're like, I just, I'm constantly gonna be resentful or I'm constantly gonna do things for other people and they don't appreciate, it's like, no, but you don't, you, you're always allowed to grow into a different version of yourself and it's simply just making that choice to not accept it.
To echo that also is to just be honest with yourself on what exactly is the root issue. Like is it the environment, like the compensation, the actual work you're doing, because I think that'll also help you figure out your next steps should be, you know, and whatever step you choose, it's probably gonna involve managing your mind . And so, which is empowering because to your point, I think it shows that you are in control of your career and your life. It's just how you choose what to do with it. And I feel like thought work will help you see that so that it's less about you having this mental drama about it.
I take a lot of pride in my work. I dedicated a lot of years to just that and I had put the majority of my self worth just in my job. And I guess I didn't even realize it was happening because in this, the way I, I grew up, I put all of my self worth in school and then in athletics and then it comes down to as an adult, I had made my world around my profession. I didn't even know if I was unhappy at work or unhappy in life. And so I think they're just all so connected. We're whole humans. It's not like at this time my mind changes because I'm no longer on my computer, um, servicing my clients. And so being able to, to find perspective in life and take some deep breaths knowing that this job, this company, these clients, it will all go on whether I'm here or not. And taking that pressure off of yourself, taking the moment to focus on your thoughts and what you've learned and really ask yourself, is this serving me? Are these thoughts serving me? Is this value that I've placed on just this one single thing, really helpful, really going to get me the full life I'm looking for.
I love all of those. So helpful.
I could ramble on and on
As could I, and I could keep you guys here all day, but I'm not going to thank you so much.
I always feel like strange because obviously I do mindset work and I want you to come and have the most amazing career, but I, it seems so limiting to even say it's about career. You know, it's not like we're like sprucing up resumes.
It's truly like figuring out who you are, what you want, and how to go after it and really like learn how to manage your mind alongside that so it's not stopping you. Um, and so everything you guys have said has been so helpful. It, I mean, it just warms my heart so much to hear that really like to see the shift in people that maybe felt like it seems hopeless. I don't wanna keep living like this, but I don't know how else to live, to then see like so much control over their own lives. All of the things you guys are doing and all of the ways that you're taking care of yourselves.
And it's just such an honor to watch that You can go to lessonsfromaquitter.com/quitterclub and join us. So thank you so, so much for joining me and thank you for doing the work and showing up and being such incredible community members in the club. It wouldn't be the same without you guys, so thank you.
Hey, if you are looking for more in-depth help with your career, whether that's dealing with all of the stress, worry, and anxiety that's leading to burnout in your current career or figuring out what your dream career is and actually going after it, I want you to join me in the Quitter Club. It is where we quit what is no longer working like perfectionism, people pleasing imposter syndrome, and we start working on what does and we start taking action towards the career and the life that you actually want. We will take the concepts that we talk about on the podcast and apply them to your life and you will get the coaching tools and support that you need to actually make some real change. So go to lessonsfromaquitter.com/quitterclub and get on the waitlist. Doors are closed right now, but they will be open soon.