In this episode, I explore the power of long-term thinking and breaking down goals into manageable building blocks. Instead of succumbing to the pressure of quick fixes, I share personal examples of how taking a more gradual approach to change, whether it’s in business or your personal goals, can lead to lasting transformation. By giving yourself the time and flexibility to evolve over several years, you can achieve meaningful, sustainable growth. Embrace the journey and discover the compounding effect of patience and persistence.
1 Year building blocks
Ep. 269
| with
Follow Along:
Show Transcript
Hey! Welcome to Lessons from a Quitter where we believe that it is never too late to start over. No matter how much time or energy you've spent getting to where you are. If ultimately you are unfulfilled, then it is time to get out. Join me each week for both inspiration and actionable tips so that we can get you on the road to your dreams.
Hello my friends and welcome to another episode of Lessons from A Quitter. I am so excited to have you here and to jump into this episode. This is kind of a piggyback on some of the other episodes that I've done on how I think about time. So two episodes ago we did 90 day decisions and I was thinking about how I do really think in short term spurts, but then I also think in longer term building blocks, and I think in very long term, 3, 5, 10 years. And I also think in one year. It's this whole system I have and I wanted to share with you because I think both are key in setting goals and actually going after them. So that's what we're going to talk about today. But before we get into that, because this is about how you build the life that you want, the career that you want, how you start giving yourself the time and the space to build skills that maybe you're lacking to go after a life that you want. I wanted to tell you about a class that I'm teaching on September 19th. It's called The Secret to Building a Career that You Love. And so it's right up your alley.
If you like this episode, this is the stuff that we'll be talking about and I'll be giving you a lot of the principles that you need that I think a lot of people are missing when they look at their careers, when they look at career change. So I want you to join me.
If you are interested in building a sustainable career that you love, that is really based on your own values and what you want and getting clear on that, then you're going to want to join me at quitterclub.com/secret. So quitterclub.com/secret, go join us.
The class will be September 19th, I believe, at 4:00 PM Pacific Standard, but you will get a replay if you can't make it live. So join that and make sure you get all the good stuff from there.
But today I want to give you one part of that, one part of what I'm going to talk about, and that's these one year building blocks, which is how I think about my life.
So here's the problem that we typically run into. When you want to set goals, when you want to change in your life, when you want to go after something bigger, we get stuck in this all or nothing thinking, right? We get a hit of motivation, we want to go all out, we want to change everything right now, and we go really hard for a couple weeks, maybe a month even, maybe a couple of months if we have a lot of motivation and willpower. But inevitably we give up because life gets in the way. Something comes up, we lose motivation, we get down on ourselves, we don't know how to manage our mind, whatever happens. And when it can't be all it turns into nothing, right? It's not the first workout that we miss, that's the problem. It's the berating, the self-judgment, the self-criticism that comes along that tells us like, see, I knew you never were going to work out. I knew you weren't going to stick to this. You always do this. You don't have the discipline. There's something wrong with you. All the other mean things we say to ourselves that gets us to just quit, that gets us to say like, yeah, I knew this wasn't going to happen, so I better just caught my losses because I don't want to feel so much shame of the fact that I'm not going to stick to this, so I'll just give up now. It's less painful now. And that's what most people, how most people approach goal setting, decisions, their life.
We see this obviously very clearly with New Year's resolutions in January where people, there are these, there's this thing about starting fresh. That's why we love the new year and we get this hit of inspiration and we get this hit of motivation and we think next year is going to be different and I'm finally going to become this perfect person that I have in my mind and I'm going to stick to everything and I'm not going to procrastinate and I'm going to go after these goals. And we all know what happens. There's like some alarming statistic that people quit within. Like I think it's like 85% of people quit their New Year's resolutions within the first two weeks. It's mind blowing, right? It, it has sort of become this meme now where a lot of people don't even set resolutions because they know they're going to quit. They know they're going to stop, which is not the way to go about goals. It's not to just completely give up. That's not the answer. It's to try to find another way. Okay?
And so this is the way that I've thought about my life and it has really helped me over the last couple of years, both with my business and in my personal life. And I want to share that with you. And it really hinges on understanding how long your life actually is. There is the famous quote by Bill Gates that says, most people overestimate what they can do in one year and they underestimate what they can do in 10 years. This is, there is no truer statement that has ever been said than this statement, right? And what happens for a lot of us is that we're so shortsighted. We so desperately want change. And by the way, just as an aside, that's because we believe this false belief that once I get there, once I have this goal, once I become that person that does this thing, then my life will be so much better than I will be happy, which is the wrong reason to go after goals. I did an episode called Destination Addiction, and it's all about this idea that like we think some destination is magically going to change our lives and we're no longer going to have stress. And so we go after these goals with that in mind, thinking, I need to be different in order to be happy. Which I'm here to tell you, you don't, you don't need to achieve any of these goals for that. You can do that exactly where you are. You can find that happiness and that love of your life without changing all of the circumstances.
But you may still want to change things because you want growth and you want to push yourself and you want to experience new things, which is why you should do anything. And even when we do that, I think that for so many of us, we want that change immediately. We think if it doesn't happen in the next six months, then it's not worth it. And so we either don't set the goal or we do set it and then we give up really quickly and then year after year keeps passing and nothing changes. And we are in these ruts and we feel stuck and we keep doing the same thing.
And it's like those years are going to pass anyways. The 10 years is going to go by. You can fundamentally change your life in 10 years. Everything about your life could be different if you give yourself that time. And I think for so many of us, we don't. We think like this year, if I don't get it done in 2023, if I don't get it done in 2024, then there's no hope. And I just look at it back now at my own life and I think about how different my life was 10 years ago. And it, you can do this too. Like just think back to who you were a decade ago. You, it's most of the time it's like an unrecognizable person. It's something so different. There's no way you would've guessed all of the trials and tribulations and successes and experiences you would've had in a decade, right? I look back at, you know, 2013 and I was still a lawyer. I didn't have children. I was extremely unhappy in my job. I was very stressed out. I was an overworked perfectionist and people pleaser. I had no boundaries. I could go on and on. I look at it now and I just can't even believe where my life has come to. I cannot believe that I left the law and I went through some really dark periods with that. It wasn't like rainbows and butterflies, it was really challenging. It was really, it really required a lot of soul searching and a lot of grappling with who I wanted to be and who I thought I was. It required some identity deaths. It required definitely some ego death. It, it was very painful.
And yet that darkness led to a light that I couldn't have imagined, right? It led to multiple businesses that I started and ended and finally to my, this podcast and life coaching. And it has fundamentally changed everything about my life. And now I have a business I love and I do work that I love and I make money that I love. And I'm a completely different person. And that was 10 years ago.
And so when I look at my life and I think I still have hopefully God willing, like if nothing goes wrong, I still have many more decades. Who am I going to be in 10 years? Who am I going to be 10 years after that? I could be completely different people.
There is so much room for transformation. There's so much room for like, really peeling back different layers of yourself, seeing who you want to be and going after that. And so I want you to think about your life right now before we kind of jump into what I mean by these one year building blocks. I want you to think about how many years do you think you have left? Obviously not accounting for hopefully, you don't, you know, have tragedies and everything goes according to plan for a lot of us. I want you to like really think about if I live to, you know, if I die of natural causes at an old age, how many years do I have 10, 20, 30, 40, 50?
For so many of us, especially now with like the way that technology is progressing and, and science and how old people are living. Like who knows, right? 50, 60 decades and decades and decades of time to be able to become different versions of yourself, to be able to explore different parts of yourself, to be able to peel back different layers.
And yet so many of us get so tunnel vision, unlike this next year, and I have to be perfect by the end of this next year. And I have to have everything in my life figured out. And if I don't, I'm wasting time and I'm behind and I didn't meet some arbitrary benchmark and I'm going to just beat myself up for it. Instead of really understanding the lavish amount of time you have to do all the things you want to do.
And when I really started sitting with this concept for myself and I really started like allowing myself to believe that it was safe to slow down, that it was safe to not need to change who I am in one year. I don't need to change who I am at all. But I'm just saying like even the things that I wanted to experience, I didn't need to experience everything all at once. This lie of like, time is running out, I'm wasting time. I just did another episode, I think it was episode 263 that was called You're Not Behind. And it's this lie that we have been fed, that we are behind that society, that there's some place we should be other than where we are. That there's some place that we, some, I don't know, check marks we were supposed to check off some kind of milestone we were supposed to hit. And then we spend all of our time telling ourselves that we're behind, that we're wasting time and we get frantic and we rush and we pick all these goals and we want to change everything and then we don't do anything. We get stuck in this all or nothing.
And so the way I've started thinking about my life is in short-term versus long-term goals, okay? I started thinking about, like I said, the 90 day decisions is what I break down my longer term goals into. Like okay, what am I going to focus on right now? What am I going to go hard for in the next three months? What am I going to evaluate? What data am I looking for? What's the next step I want to take? It's much more strategic, right?
When I think about long term, I think much in a, in a more vague way, but just more of the direction that I want to go into and why am I doing the things that I'm doing and what do I want to kind of gain from this, right?
And what I have noticed for myself is that I, if I give myself this time, if I know that I don't have to change everything in these 90 days, I don't have to change everything right now, but this is the direction of the person that I want to become. It opens me up to doing things in a not rushed frantic way. It allows me to take things one step at a time. It allows me a long enough period to fail and get back up and be inconsistent and give up on it and come back to it and not require perfection of myself, right? One, a concept I've talked about a lot and I did a podcast episode on, I think it was episode 151. It was called how the Compound Effect Will Change Your Life, right? And it's this idea that everything in your life can be changed if you are willing to take small steps over time. Okay? It's not a huge rush within two weeks. It's what can I stick to? And I don't, when I say stick to, I don't mean every week it has to be the same. I have to work out four days a week or that means it's not going to happen. It means like over a long period of time, what is the thing that I want to like work on? What do I want to chip away at? And the more I do this, the more it compounds, right? The more I start seeing huge snowball effects and the more I can start seeing actual change, if I can stick to it.
I'm going to give you some examples for me, like what I've been working on, but I just want you to like really understand this concept that like when you look at for your year where you sort of want to be at the, towards the end of the year, it's not this like I want to have worked out every single week of the year, three days a week. It's truly like figuring out like I want health to be my focus this year, right? I want to become more healthy by the end of the year or I want to engage in more hobbies this year and that is going to mean some weeks I can dedicate more time to this and I'm consistent and I feel good and I have the motivation and some weeks I don't and then I can bring myself back. I have this time.
So two examples that I want to give you just from my own personal life, which I do this with my business as well. But I think about this where it's like I, a couple of years ago I really wanted to read more, okay? And I really wanted to stop being on my phone as much and I wanted to enjoy, I don’t know, I just wanted the identity of being a reader. I sort of enjoyed reading, but most of the time by the time I got into bed I was so exhausted and I would read for 10 minutes and I would fall asleep. And I didn't read that, read that often and I would stop and whatever. But I had this thing that like I do enjoy reading and I really, there are a lot of books that I had on my list that I wanted to read. And so I think it was like three years ago where I started deciding like, I want to become a reader. It's not that I want like I have to read 30 minutes every single day. I don't like rigid rules like that for myself. I just knew that like I wanted my identity to become, become someone that like enjoys slowing down enough to be able to sit down and read a book and have some time for myself and let my imagination go and allow myself to focus and all of the things that reading would give me.
And so I started this three years ago, okay? And I remember at the time I had sort of set, like a loose goal of I think for my 90 day goal was like I wanted to read one book a month. Okay? So I wanted to read three books over the month and I would allow myself however that made sense in that month. So some nights I would read for 10 minutes, some nights I would read for an hour, sometimes it would be vacation. I would take a book with me and that was really all I was shooting for. And over that year I remember like there would be months I would go without reading and I was okay with it because I'd sort of realized some months I'm going to read more and some months I'm going to read less and that's fine. And through it I allowed myself to sort of figure out, at the time I was reading a lot of self-help and that just like required a lot of brain power and I wanted to really retain some of the information so I would go even slower.
And a lot of times it was boring and I didn't want to read it and I would fall asleep and whatnot. I just say this like I feel like that first year I probably only read like I don't even think I read 12 books. I think I probably read 10 books. I didn't end up hitting the thing that I wanted to read. And I had taken a lot of gap times in between and the most important thing that I didn't do was make it mean anything about myself. I didn't make it mean that I can't be a reader and that there's something wrong with me and that I'm terrible at this and it's never going to work. And see it didn't work and I failed at this goal. I just was like, okay, this is what we did in this year. Okay? And I sort of knew like this is one building block, this is one step towards the person I want to be.
I look at my one year goals as a step, like truly just think of it as a staircase. And if you think of your one year as like going towards the top of the stairs, it might be 10 steps. You might be thinking in a decade you might be thinking in 30 years, it doesn't matter. Like for me with reading it wasn't a goal that I needed to happen very quickly. I was like, you know what? I just want to be go towards becoming this person and maybe that takes me 10 years, right? Of little bits of reading here and there. Maybe I decide to change the goal altogether. But like I looked at it as like one step in this one year, what can I do if I don't need to be all or nothing if I don't need it to be, you know, change everything within me.
And like I did that the first year. The next year I started reading some fiction and I was like, you know what? Maybe I just need a break from all this self-help stuff and maybe I just need my brain to be able to like escape a little bit. And I started again, like it was fascinating to watch myself want to read more and start getting more into habits. And I started reading more at night and it still wasn't every night and it still wasn't like there would still be weeks where I wouldn't do it and I would come back to it and then I would find a book that I felt really enthralled with and I would read it within two days or three days and then another book would take me a month. And all of it was okay because I was like, over this year I had I think set a goal of 24 books for that next year.
So I wanted to do two a month and I had started kind of reading more because I was reading more fiction. And so slowly I started like becoming more of a reader. I started becoming the person that wanted to bring my book on vacation and wanted to take some time away from the kids and sit down and read. And up until that point I hadn't really been that and I was like, okay, this is cool. Like we're starting to get there again. I didn't make it mean anything about me. Like other people are obviously tearing through hundreds of books a year and I'm like, I'm cool with my 20. If I can get through 20 I'll be happy and you know, if 24 will be icing on the cake. And I remember that year I think I did hit 24 because only because like by December I was like, I close and I was like, I will hit this number. And so, you know, sometimes that motivation helps you go, but I started figuring out more about what I like and what I didn't, what kind of books got me excited and which ones didn't, what things I wanted to read and which ones I didn't.
And I started allowing myself like the ability to let that be okay, like everything didn't have to be for learning purposes, everything didn't have to be self-help. And I started reading more surprisingly, I started learning more about myself. And it was fascinating 'cause my identity started shifting in that second year I started really identifying as somebody who liked to read. Whereas before it was seemed like a chore. Now this is two years in, right? This isn't like me saying every night I have to sit down and I have to read for 30 minutes and I'm going to force myself to become a reader. This was giving myself some space to step into this identity that I wanted to become this person I wanted to become.
And I, I say this because it's fascinating. I'm now like in year three and it was funny because I had set my goal as at 36 books and we're, I'm recording this in August and I've already, I'm already on I think book 38, right? And I truly love reading so much now and I have found the genres that light me up. And I have found the types of books that light me up, which were not what I thought they were going to be to be honest with you. And I have found book clubs and I've started like joining, you know, I have text chains with my friends and I found #booktok, which I didn't even know was a thing. And it's like this whole world has opened up to me of people sharing their books.
And I feel like I finally get it and I feel like I buy all these books that I haven't read yet and I don't care because I love buying books now and every night. Like I want to go to bed early to read some more and I think back and I'm like, I'm so glad that I didn't give myself this all or nothing ultimatum of like, you will become a reader within a month or we will not read books because we will have so much shame about the fact that we're not good enough. You know, as a book reader.
And even still, there's a lot of things I could make, you know, it mean about me, about the types of books I read. Maybe they're not serious enough or classic enough or intellectual enough or whatever it might not be. Or maybe I'm not reading things that are, you know, I, I can see a lot of people thinking about like, oh it should, it's a waste of time. I should be learning something when I read and I should be doing something that's productive. And I love that. It's simply because it brought, brings me joy and I just followed what brought me joy. I just followed like which books light me up? Let me read some more of those. What other areas have I not explored? Let me try a book like that. What times do I like maybe reading at night is just too late for me. So I want to take some time on my lunch break and read. I never thought I'd be the person who read on their lunch break. And let me tell you, I now routinely cannot wait to eat lunch just so I can take out my Kindle and read my book and I think about this and I'm like, this was two and a half years and I fully consider myself a reader now and I know it's going to get more from here because I was thinking the other day, like my screen time has got like plummeted, which is so fascinating 'cause I couldn't get anything to get me off of Instagram or TikTok until it became books and until I give myself that time.
And again, it's not because I think there's anything wrong with Instagram or TikTok. My brain needed dopamine, my brain needed time to unwind and it took that from social media and now I've replaced it with something else.
And even this, like I realized when I was doing self-help that wasn't going to be a replacement because that was more work for me. 'cause it's what I do, you know, for this podcast. So I was constantly trying to think about the concepts and how can I utilize this and how can I help people? And I realized like my brain needs a break. My brain needs to veg out. My brain needs to not think about this stuff. It needs to think about like magical lands and fairies or whatever else it is or sci-fi or you know, whatever the, the the fictional book is that I'm reading. And when I gave it that, it's amazing how a lot of my other buffering went away.
I just didn't need to get up and eat snacks as much and I didn't need to veg out with Netflix as much and I didn't need to be on social media as much because I found this thing, but I gave myself the time to get to this thing, right?
Another quick example I'll just give you as, and then this is just happening within this year. I've talked about it, I talked about it at the year end and I was, I'm, I'll do a full recap of this at the end of the year. But it's been interesting for me to watch that my goal this year was my health was focusing exclusively on my health. It was my one goal for the year and that meant both physically and mentally, but mostly physically. And I really wanted to eat healthier and I wanted to start exercising.
I hadn't exercised for years. My body was in a lot of pain and I started working out this year and what's been so interesting to watch myself over these last eight months now is when I allowed myself to not be perfect at it when I allowed myself to not be all or nothing. So I went a lot of weeks where I just didn't work out. Like I'd work out for a week and then I wouldn't work out for a week and then I would work out for a week, like one day and then I wouldn't work out and then I would work out for a month straight and then I wouldn't work out for like another week or whatnot. And I didn't make any of it mean anything. And I really kept this goal as like I, let's just see what happens by the end of the year.
Same thing with my eating. It's like I don't do well with very strict restrictions and I refuse to put them on myself. But I would find that there would be times where I would be really, it would be easier for me to stick to like eating the things I wanted to eat, eating the things that I know make me feel better. And then I would just let myself have times where I ate all the stuff that I know make me feel terrible, but I still want 'em and it still feels good. And when I had this balance of like over time this will balance itself out and I will figure it out and I will learn what I like and I will learn what I need and I will learn how to not buffer. And I will learn to like give up these urges to eat chocolate at all times of the day, every single day. Once I give myself some space to figure this out and it's okay that I'm not there yet, right?
And I say the reason it's fascinating is because I was realizing like it took me almost six full months to really get to a place where I enjoyed working out. Like up until this last month, I, every time I did it, I didn't want to do it. Every time I did it, it was like, oh God, let's just get this over with. And I stuck with it because it was my goal and there and I would allow myself times to fall off the horse and I would allow myself times to not be consistent. And because this was a building block, because I knew I don't have to be like a gym rat by the end of the year. I don't have to be in perfect shape.
I don't have to have tons of muscles and lose all my body fat. That's not what I'm going after. I'm trying to move my body more. I'm trying to like take care of myself and that means having more regular movement. And so some weeks that's going to be a lot more than others and I'm okay with that. And I feel like just giving myself that time without the pressure of like, well we're not sticking to it. We didn't do it in these 90 days. We haven't gotten to this point. We've, you know, gave up on this. We were supposed to do this and we didn't do it and whatnot. It allowed me to sort of like swing with this pendulum like the ebb and flow of seeing like, okay, what weeks am I really out of it? What weeks am I really into it? How much sleep do I need? What food makes me feel good? And it allowed me to like to make it more of an experiment. And I realized this last month like I'm actually enjoying this for the first time. Like I'm actually looking forward to working out. I never thought I would be that person. I never thought I would say those words, but I'm so glad that I allowed myself to like, have the time to be able to do that.
And that's the most important thing about having this year, right? Like I said, for me I know this is one building block for with many more to come. I know that with health and exercise, it's not something where it's a flash in the pan. It's not something where I can say I'm going to do it for a year and I'm not going to do it. This has to be a lifestyle. So if it's going to be a lifestyle, then it has to be something that I can keep up with and that takes time for me to build up to. That's not going to be something that I'm just going to start out the gate and I'm going to do three days a week every single week and never miss something. Me not doing that doesn't say anything about me. And it doesn't mean that I'm not going to like, I'm not going to be someone that works out. It simply means like I need to find my own way. I need to find the exercises that work for me. I need to find the time of day that it works for me. I need to find the things that I need to do to stop procrastinating. And I can do that with love and curiosity and compassion instead of constantly beating myself up.
And I am fascinated at myself now like seeing, like I actually like working out. I am actually more likely to stick to it now eight months in, nine months in, I wasn't the first four or five months I really was like, I would say that I spent more time not working out than I did working out. And I was okay with that because I knew ultimately by the end of the year I would get here, right? I would get to a place where I was like, I can see my progress.
And that's the entire point of giving yourself this time is that it's enough time for you to be able to like see the progress and see that you're moving towards where you want to go.
The way I think about it's like if you look at let's say like the stock market or any really most things, if you look at like progress over time, it's not a linear line straight up. It doesn't work that way. Like if you look at the stock market, it is an upward trend, but it goes in like little squigglies right–up, down, up, down, up, down as it's moving up.
It's the same thing with your goals. It's the same thing as I look at for myself. Like, we are moving in this direction because I've even just picked the goal and it's still on my radar, right? We're moving in this direction because I keep coming back to it even when I'm inconsistent. And I know over a year that gives me enough time to see like, oh, there's upward trend, there's upward movement, and then the next year there'll be another building block and the next year is another building block. I don't have to do this all right now. I don't have to become, you know, a fitness model in my first year of deciding to work out.
And when you can slow down like that, it will change your entire life. I do not say that lightly when I tell you the compound effect will change your life. It has fundamentally been the thing that has changed everything for me.
I did it with my podcast, I did it with my coaching business. I've done it with my health, I've done it with everything where it's like, this doesn't have to happen this year. This can happen over the next 2, 3, 5, 10 years. I'm giving myself the gift of that time to see where this goes, to pivot, to evaluate, to see what I like to learn more about myself. And so what I want you to start thinking about when you think about your goals for the year or when you think about, you know, anything, how you do anything is yes, we want to look at our 90 day goals 'cause we want to look at like what is the next step that I want to take and what are the things I want to focus on right now? But we also want to look at like what is this the building block for? Where is this going, right? Who is the person I want to become by stacking this block, by putting this step up? Where am what, you know, where is that future me that I'm trying to step up to and how does this take me there?
And when I know that and that's the general direction I'm going in, then I don't have to have like these metrics and this, this rigidness that every single day I have to be perfect in order to get there. I'm not going to be, I mean we can just lay that to rest right now.
You will not be consistent because that is not the way the human brain works and that's okay. And it's not the inconsistency that's a problem, it's what we make it mean, right? It's the fact that we conclude that that means that we're not going to make it anywhere. And I think when you can stop with that rigidity and you can stop with that perfectionism and you can allow yourself a little bit of breathing room to look at these as stepping stones year after year towards the new version of yourself, the future you, the 10 year future, you, it gives you so much more space to experiment and slow down and try different things and take a break and be a human and buffer and do all the other stuff and still come back to it and still build towards it, right?
And so this is honestly what I envisioned with the Quitter Club and with my membership and the reason I wanted to create it. And the reason I think that it's really important for people to commit to a year long kind of assessment, why I really want people in there for a whole year is because it gives you the time and space to choose one goal for that year to choose one thing you want to focus on and break that down into 90 day goals.
But to give yourself the space to build one block, to build one step to say, okay, this year I want to focus on my business, or this year I'm going to focus on figuring out what it is I want to do with my life. Or this year I'm going to focus on paying off my debt and getting my finances in order and that's all I'm focusing on. And that's going to be two steps forward, one step back.
And I know that that's going to be the foundation for the next year and the next year and the next year. And if I keep stacking this in three years, five years, 10 years, my entire life will be different and I will have done it with compassion and with love instead of constantly shaming myself and beating myself up.
My goal with the Quitter Club, with my membership was that people could come every year and change what they're working on because that's what I do. I decide like one year I'm going to focus on my business and then once I have that foundation and I know like, hey, I'm kind of on my way, I know how to handle this now, then the next year I picked something else. I picked health right? This year was health. Maybe next year I go back to business and it's like, listen, now I like working out and I kind of got my nutrition in order and I've learned all this stuff about how much rest I need and how much sleep I need. And I've done all of this.
So maybe I go back to like, now I want to scale my business, now I want to sell more. Okay, great. Like that becomes my goal and I give myself a year to learn that. And as I keep doing this and I keep coming back and I get coaching and I work on my thoughts and I don't make it mean anything about myself, I slowly build the life that I want.
So if you take anything away from this, I really hope that you just truly understand that there is so much more time than you want to believe that there is. You have so much time to become the person that you want to be, to have the experiences that you want. You have to slow down.
And I know that seems counterintuitive 'cause it seems like if I want to get to this place, if I want to be this person, I have to speed up. But you've seen what that frantic energy has gotten you, you've seen how much that leads to spinning and overwhelm and procrastination. So just try it for a little bit this way.
Start noticing like when I slow down and give myself this time to increase my capacity, to be able to try these things, to let myself fail, to give myself time to breathe. How much of a difference does it make? I promise you it will change everything.
And if you want help and you want to join us in the Quitter Club, I would love to have you in there. You can go to lessonsfromaquitter.com/quitterclub. This is where we work on these goals and you get the coaching that you need so that you stay the course so that you don't go all or nothing on me.
And we're going to have some exciting news the next time we open up the doors at the end of this month. So make sure you get on that wait list. Make sure you join us and let's build the life that you want one year at a time. All right, my friends, I hope this was helpful and I will be back next week with another episode.
Hey, if you are looking for more in-depth help with your career, whether that's dealing with all of the stress, worry, and anxiety that's leading to burnout in your current career or figuring out what your dream career is and actually going after it, I want you to join me in the Quitter Club. It is where we quit what is no longer working. Like perfectionism, people pleasing imposter syndrome… and we start working on what does, and we start taking action towards the career and the life that you actually want. We will take the concepts that we talk about on the podcast and apply them to your life and you will get the coaching, tools, and support that you need to actually make some real change. So go to lessonsfromaquitter.com/quitter club and get on the waitlist. Doors are closed right now, but they will be open soon.
Hello my friends and welcome to another episode of Lessons from A Quitter. I am so excited to have you here and to jump into this episode. This is kind of a piggyback on some of the other episodes that I've done on how I think about time. So two episodes ago we did 90 day decisions and I was thinking about how I do really think in short term spurts, but then I also think in longer term building blocks, and I think in very long term, 3, 5, 10 years. And I also think in one year. It's this whole system I have and I wanted to share with you because I think both are key in setting goals and actually going after them. So that's what we're going to talk about today. But before we get into that, because this is about how you build the life that you want, the career that you want, how you start giving yourself the time and the space to build skills that maybe you're lacking to go after a life that you want. I wanted to tell you about a class that I'm teaching on September 19th. It's called The Secret to Building a Career that You Love. And so it's right up your alley.
If you like this episode, this is the stuff that we'll be talking about and I'll be giving you a lot of the principles that you need that I think a lot of people are missing when they look at their careers, when they look at career change. So I want you to join me.
If you are interested in building a sustainable career that you love, that is really based on your own values and what you want and getting clear on that, then you're going to want to join me at quitterclub.com/secret. So quitterclub.com/secret, go join us.
The class will be September 19th, I believe, at 4:00 PM Pacific Standard, but you will get a replay if you can't make it live. So join that and make sure you get all the good stuff from there.
But today I want to give you one part of that, one part of what I'm going to talk about, and that's these one year building blocks, which is how I think about my life.
So here's the problem that we typically run into. When you want to set goals, when you want to change in your life, when you want to go after something bigger, we get stuck in this all or nothing thinking, right? We get a hit of motivation, we want to go all out, we want to change everything right now, and we go really hard for a couple weeks, maybe a month even, maybe a couple of months if we have a lot of motivation and willpower. But inevitably we give up because life gets in the way. Something comes up, we lose motivation, we get down on ourselves, we don't know how to manage our mind, whatever happens. And when it can't be all it turns into nothing, right? It's not the first workout that we miss, that's the problem. It's the berating, the self-judgment, the self-criticism that comes along that tells us like, see, I knew you never were going to work out. I knew you weren't going to stick to this. You always do this. You don't have the discipline. There's something wrong with you. All the other mean things we say to ourselves that gets us to just quit, that gets us to say like, yeah, I knew this wasn't going to happen, so I better just caught my losses because I don't want to feel so much shame of the fact that I'm not going to stick to this, so I'll just give up now. It's less painful now. And that's what most people, how most people approach goal setting, decisions, their life.
We see this obviously very clearly with New Year's resolutions in January where people, there are these, there's this thing about starting fresh. That's why we love the new year and we get this hit of inspiration and we get this hit of motivation and we think next year is going to be different and I'm finally going to become this perfect person that I have in my mind and I'm going to stick to everything and I'm not going to procrastinate and I'm going to go after these goals. And we all know what happens. There's like some alarming statistic that people quit within. Like I think it's like 85% of people quit their New Year's resolutions within the first two weeks. It's mind blowing, right? It, it has sort of become this meme now where a lot of people don't even set resolutions because they know they're going to quit. They know they're going to stop, which is not the way to go about goals. It's not to just completely give up. That's not the answer. It's to try to find another way. Okay?
And so this is the way that I've thought about my life and it has really helped me over the last couple of years, both with my business and in my personal life. And I want to share that with you. And it really hinges on understanding how long your life actually is. There is the famous quote by Bill Gates that says, most people overestimate what they can do in one year and they underestimate what they can do in 10 years. This is, there is no truer statement that has ever been said than this statement, right? And what happens for a lot of us is that we're so shortsighted. We so desperately want change. And by the way, just as an aside, that's because we believe this false belief that once I get there, once I have this goal, once I become that person that does this thing, then my life will be so much better than I will be happy, which is the wrong reason to go after goals. I did an episode called Destination Addiction, and it's all about this idea that like we think some destination is magically going to change our lives and we're no longer going to have stress. And so we go after these goals with that in mind, thinking, I need to be different in order to be happy. Which I'm here to tell you, you don't, you don't need to achieve any of these goals for that. You can do that exactly where you are. You can find that happiness and that love of your life without changing all of the circumstances.
But you may still want to change things because you want growth and you want to push yourself and you want to experience new things, which is why you should do anything. And even when we do that, I think that for so many of us, we want that change immediately. We think if it doesn't happen in the next six months, then it's not worth it. And so we either don't set the goal or we do set it and then we give up really quickly and then year after year keeps passing and nothing changes. And we are in these ruts and we feel stuck and we keep doing the same thing.
And it's like those years are going to pass anyways. The 10 years is going to go by. You can fundamentally change your life in 10 years. Everything about your life could be different if you give yourself that time. And I think for so many of us, we don't. We think like this year, if I don't get it done in 2023, if I don't get it done in 2024, then there's no hope. And I just look at it back now at my own life and I think about how different my life was 10 years ago. And it, you can do this too. Like just think back to who you were a decade ago. You, it's most of the time it's like an unrecognizable person. It's something so different. There's no way you would've guessed all of the trials and tribulations and successes and experiences you would've had in a decade, right? I look back at, you know, 2013 and I was still a lawyer. I didn't have children. I was extremely unhappy in my job. I was very stressed out. I was an overworked perfectionist and people pleaser. I had no boundaries. I could go on and on. I look at it now and I just can't even believe where my life has come to. I cannot believe that I left the law and I went through some really dark periods with that. It wasn't like rainbows and butterflies, it was really challenging. It was really, it really required a lot of soul searching and a lot of grappling with who I wanted to be and who I thought I was. It required some identity deaths. It required definitely some ego death. It, it was very painful.
And yet that darkness led to a light that I couldn't have imagined, right? It led to multiple businesses that I started and ended and finally to my, this podcast and life coaching. And it has fundamentally changed everything about my life. And now I have a business I love and I do work that I love and I make money that I love. And I'm a completely different person. And that was 10 years ago.
And so when I look at my life and I think I still have hopefully God willing, like if nothing goes wrong, I still have many more decades. Who am I going to be in 10 years? Who am I going to be 10 years after that? I could be completely different people.
There is so much room for transformation. There's so much room for like, really peeling back different layers of yourself, seeing who you want to be and going after that. And so I want you to think about your life right now before we kind of jump into what I mean by these one year building blocks. I want you to think about how many years do you think you have left? Obviously not accounting for hopefully, you don't, you know, have tragedies and everything goes according to plan for a lot of us. I want you to like really think about if I live to, you know, if I die of natural causes at an old age, how many years do I have 10, 20, 30, 40, 50?
For so many of us, especially now with like the way that technology is progressing and, and science and how old people are living. Like who knows, right? 50, 60 decades and decades and decades of time to be able to become different versions of yourself, to be able to explore different parts of yourself, to be able to peel back different layers.
And yet so many of us get so tunnel vision, unlike this next year, and I have to be perfect by the end of this next year. And I have to have everything in my life figured out. And if I don't, I'm wasting time and I'm behind and I didn't meet some arbitrary benchmark and I'm going to just beat myself up for it. Instead of really understanding the lavish amount of time you have to do all the things you want to do.
And when I really started sitting with this concept for myself and I really started like allowing myself to believe that it was safe to slow down, that it was safe to not need to change who I am in one year. I don't need to change who I am at all. But I'm just saying like even the things that I wanted to experience, I didn't need to experience everything all at once. This lie of like, time is running out, I'm wasting time. I just did another episode, I think it was episode 263 that was called You're Not Behind. And it's this lie that we have been fed, that we are behind that society, that there's some place we should be other than where we are. That there's some place that we, some, I don't know, check marks we were supposed to check off some kind of milestone we were supposed to hit. And then we spend all of our time telling ourselves that we're behind, that we're wasting time and we get frantic and we rush and we pick all these goals and we want to change everything and then we don't do anything. We get stuck in this all or nothing.
And so the way I've started thinking about my life is in short-term versus long-term goals, okay? I started thinking about, like I said, the 90 day decisions is what I break down my longer term goals into. Like okay, what am I going to focus on right now? What am I going to go hard for in the next three months? What am I going to evaluate? What data am I looking for? What's the next step I want to take? It's much more strategic, right?
When I think about long term, I think much in a, in a more vague way, but just more of the direction that I want to go into and why am I doing the things that I'm doing and what do I want to kind of gain from this, right?
And what I have noticed for myself is that I, if I give myself this time, if I know that I don't have to change everything in these 90 days, I don't have to change everything right now, but this is the direction of the person that I want to become. It opens me up to doing things in a not rushed frantic way. It allows me to take things one step at a time. It allows me a long enough period to fail and get back up and be inconsistent and give up on it and come back to it and not require perfection of myself, right? One, a concept I've talked about a lot and I did a podcast episode on, I think it was episode 151. It was called how the Compound Effect Will Change Your Life, right? And it's this idea that everything in your life can be changed if you are willing to take small steps over time. Okay? It's not a huge rush within two weeks. It's what can I stick to? And I don't, when I say stick to, I don't mean every week it has to be the same. I have to work out four days a week or that means it's not going to happen. It means like over a long period of time, what is the thing that I want to like work on? What do I want to chip away at? And the more I do this, the more it compounds, right? The more I start seeing huge snowball effects and the more I can start seeing actual change, if I can stick to it.
I'm going to give you some examples for me, like what I've been working on, but I just want you to like really understand this concept that like when you look at for your year where you sort of want to be at the, towards the end of the year, it's not this like I want to have worked out every single week of the year, three days a week. It's truly like figuring out like I want health to be my focus this year, right? I want to become more healthy by the end of the year or I want to engage in more hobbies this year and that is going to mean some weeks I can dedicate more time to this and I'm consistent and I feel good and I have the motivation and some weeks I don't and then I can bring myself back. I have this time.
So two examples that I want to give you just from my own personal life, which I do this with my business as well. But I think about this where it's like I, a couple of years ago I really wanted to read more, okay? And I really wanted to stop being on my phone as much and I wanted to enjoy, I don’t know, I just wanted the identity of being a reader. I sort of enjoyed reading, but most of the time by the time I got into bed I was so exhausted and I would read for 10 minutes and I would fall asleep. And I didn't read that, read that often and I would stop and whatever. But I had this thing that like I do enjoy reading and I really, there are a lot of books that I had on my list that I wanted to read. And so I think it was like three years ago where I started deciding like, I want to become a reader. It's not that I want like I have to read 30 minutes every single day. I don't like rigid rules like that for myself. I just knew that like I wanted my identity to become, become someone that like enjoys slowing down enough to be able to sit down and read a book and have some time for myself and let my imagination go and allow myself to focus and all of the things that reading would give me.
And so I started this three years ago, okay? And I remember at the time I had sort of set, like a loose goal of I think for my 90 day goal was like I wanted to read one book a month. Okay? So I wanted to read three books over the month and I would allow myself however that made sense in that month. So some nights I would read for 10 minutes, some nights I would read for an hour, sometimes it would be vacation. I would take a book with me and that was really all I was shooting for. And over that year I remember like there would be months I would go without reading and I was okay with it because I'd sort of realized some months I'm going to read more and some months I'm going to read less and that's fine. And through it I allowed myself to sort of figure out, at the time I was reading a lot of self-help and that just like required a lot of brain power and I wanted to really retain some of the information so I would go even slower.
And a lot of times it was boring and I didn't want to read it and I would fall asleep and whatnot. I just say this like I feel like that first year I probably only read like I don't even think I read 12 books. I think I probably read 10 books. I didn't end up hitting the thing that I wanted to read. And I had taken a lot of gap times in between and the most important thing that I didn't do was make it mean anything about myself. I didn't make it mean that I can't be a reader and that there's something wrong with me and that I'm terrible at this and it's never going to work. And see it didn't work and I failed at this goal. I just was like, okay, this is what we did in this year. Okay? And I sort of knew like this is one building block, this is one step towards the person I want to be.
I look at my one year goals as a step, like truly just think of it as a staircase. And if you think of your one year as like going towards the top of the stairs, it might be 10 steps. You might be thinking in a decade you might be thinking in 30 years, it doesn't matter. Like for me with reading it wasn't a goal that I needed to happen very quickly. I was like, you know what? I just want to be go towards becoming this person and maybe that takes me 10 years, right? Of little bits of reading here and there. Maybe I decide to change the goal altogether. But like I looked at it as like one step in this one year, what can I do if I don't need to be all or nothing if I don't need it to be, you know, change everything within me.
And like I did that the first year. The next year I started reading some fiction and I was like, you know what? Maybe I just need a break from all this self-help stuff and maybe I just need my brain to be able to like escape a little bit. And I started again, like it was fascinating to watch myself want to read more and start getting more into habits. And I started reading more at night and it still wasn't every night and it still wasn't like there would still be weeks where I wouldn't do it and I would come back to it and then I would find a book that I felt really enthralled with and I would read it within two days or three days and then another book would take me a month. And all of it was okay because I was like, over this year I had I think set a goal of 24 books for that next year.
So I wanted to do two a month and I had started kind of reading more because I was reading more fiction. And so slowly I started like becoming more of a reader. I started becoming the person that wanted to bring my book on vacation and wanted to take some time away from the kids and sit down and read. And up until that point I hadn't really been that and I was like, okay, this is cool. Like we're starting to get there again. I didn't make it mean anything about me. Like other people are obviously tearing through hundreds of books a year and I'm like, I'm cool with my 20. If I can get through 20 I'll be happy and you know, if 24 will be icing on the cake. And I remember that year I think I did hit 24 because only because like by December I was like, I close and I was like, I will hit this number. And so, you know, sometimes that motivation helps you go, but I started figuring out more about what I like and what I didn't, what kind of books got me excited and which ones didn't, what things I wanted to read and which ones I didn't.
And I started allowing myself like the ability to let that be okay, like everything didn't have to be for learning purposes, everything didn't have to be self-help. And I started reading more surprisingly, I started learning more about myself. And it was fascinating 'cause my identity started shifting in that second year I started really identifying as somebody who liked to read. Whereas before it was seemed like a chore. Now this is two years in, right? This isn't like me saying every night I have to sit down and I have to read for 30 minutes and I'm going to force myself to become a reader. This was giving myself some space to step into this identity that I wanted to become this person I wanted to become.
And I, I say this because it's fascinating. I'm now like in year three and it was funny because I had set my goal as at 36 books and we're, I'm recording this in August and I've already, I'm already on I think book 38, right? And I truly love reading so much now and I have found the genres that light me up. And I have found the types of books that light me up, which were not what I thought they were going to be to be honest with you. And I have found book clubs and I've started like joining, you know, I have text chains with my friends and I found #booktok, which I didn't even know was a thing. And it's like this whole world has opened up to me of people sharing their books.
And I feel like I finally get it and I feel like I buy all these books that I haven't read yet and I don't care because I love buying books now and every night. Like I want to go to bed early to read some more and I think back and I'm like, I'm so glad that I didn't give myself this all or nothing ultimatum of like, you will become a reader within a month or we will not read books because we will have so much shame about the fact that we're not good enough. You know, as a book reader.
And even still, there's a lot of things I could make, you know, it mean about me, about the types of books I read. Maybe they're not serious enough or classic enough or intellectual enough or whatever it might not be. Or maybe I'm not reading things that are, you know, I, I can see a lot of people thinking about like, oh it should, it's a waste of time. I should be learning something when I read and I should be doing something that's productive. And I love that. It's simply because it brought, brings me joy and I just followed what brought me joy. I just followed like which books light me up? Let me read some more of those. What other areas have I not explored? Let me try a book like that. What times do I like maybe reading at night is just too late for me. So I want to take some time on my lunch break and read. I never thought I'd be the person who read on their lunch break. And let me tell you, I now routinely cannot wait to eat lunch just so I can take out my Kindle and read my book and I think about this and I'm like, this was two and a half years and I fully consider myself a reader now and I know it's going to get more from here because I was thinking the other day, like my screen time has got like plummeted, which is so fascinating 'cause I couldn't get anything to get me off of Instagram or TikTok until it became books and until I give myself that time.
And again, it's not because I think there's anything wrong with Instagram or TikTok. My brain needed dopamine, my brain needed time to unwind and it took that from social media and now I've replaced it with something else.
And even this, like I realized when I was doing self-help that wasn't going to be a replacement because that was more work for me. 'cause it's what I do, you know, for this podcast. So I was constantly trying to think about the concepts and how can I utilize this and how can I help people? And I realized like my brain needs a break. My brain needs to veg out. My brain needs to not think about this stuff. It needs to think about like magical lands and fairies or whatever else it is or sci-fi or you know, whatever the, the the fictional book is that I'm reading. And when I gave it that, it's amazing how a lot of my other buffering went away.
I just didn't need to get up and eat snacks as much and I didn't need to veg out with Netflix as much and I didn't need to be on social media as much because I found this thing, but I gave myself the time to get to this thing, right?
Another quick example I'll just give you as, and then this is just happening within this year. I've talked about it, I talked about it at the year end and I was, I'm, I'll do a full recap of this at the end of the year. But it's been interesting for me to watch that my goal this year was my health was focusing exclusively on my health. It was my one goal for the year and that meant both physically and mentally, but mostly physically. And I really wanted to eat healthier and I wanted to start exercising.
I hadn't exercised for years. My body was in a lot of pain and I started working out this year and what's been so interesting to watch myself over these last eight months now is when I allowed myself to not be perfect at it when I allowed myself to not be all or nothing. So I went a lot of weeks where I just didn't work out. Like I'd work out for a week and then I wouldn't work out for a week and then I would work out for a week, like one day and then I wouldn't work out and then I would work out for a month straight and then I wouldn't work out for like another week or whatnot. And I didn't make any of it mean anything. And I really kept this goal as like I, let's just see what happens by the end of the year.
Same thing with my eating. It's like I don't do well with very strict restrictions and I refuse to put them on myself. But I would find that there would be times where I would be really, it would be easier for me to stick to like eating the things I wanted to eat, eating the things that I know make me feel better. And then I would just let myself have times where I ate all the stuff that I know make me feel terrible, but I still want 'em and it still feels good. And when I had this balance of like over time this will balance itself out and I will figure it out and I will learn what I like and I will learn what I need and I will learn how to not buffer. And I will learn to like give up these urges to eat chocolate at all times of the day, every single day. Once I give myself some space to figure this out and it's okay that I'm not there yet, right?
And I say the reason it's fascinating is because I was realizing like it took me almost six full months to really get to a place where I enjoyed working out. Like up until this last month, I, every time I did it, I didn't want to do it. Every time I did it, it was like, oh God, let's just get this over with. And I stuck with it because it was my goal and there and I would allow myself times to fall off the horse and I would allow myself times to not be consistent. And because this was a building block, because I knew I don't have to be like a gym rat by the end of the year. I don't have to be in perfect shape.
I don't have to have tons of muscles and lose all my body fat. That's not what I'm going after. I'm trying to move my body more. I'm trying to like take care of myself and that means having more regular movement. And so some weeks that's going to be a lot more than others and I'm okay with that. And I feel like just giving myself that time without the pressure of like, well we're not sticking to it. We didn't do it in these 90 days. We haven't gotten to this point. We've, you know, gave up on this. We were supposed to do this and we didn't do it and whatnot. It allowed me to sort of like swing with this pendulum like the ebb and flow of seeing like, okay, what weeks am I really out of it? What weeks am I really into it? How much sleep do I need? What food makes me feel good? And it allowed me to like to make it more of an experiment. And I realized this last month like I'm actually enjoying this for the first time. Like I'm actually looking forward to working out. I never thought I would be that person. I never thought I would say those words, but I'm so glad that I allowed myself to like, have the time to be able to do that.
And that's the most important thing about having this year, right? Like I said, for me I know this is one building block for with many more to come. I know that with health and exercise, it's not something where it's a flash in the pan. It's not something where I can say I'm going to do it for a year and I'm not going to do it. This has to be a lifestyle. So if it's going to be a lifestyle, then it has to be something that I can keep up with and that takes time for me to build up to. That's not going to be something that I'm just going to start out the gate and I'm going to do three days a week every single week and never miss something. Me not doing that doesn't say anything about me. And it doesn't mean that I'm not going to like, I'm not going to be someone that works out. It simply means like I need to find my own way. I need to find the exercises that work for me. I need to find the time of day that it works for me. I need to find the things that I need to do to stop procrastinating. And I can do that with love and curiosity and compassion instead of constantly beating myself up.
And I am fascinated at myself now like seeing, like I actually like working out. I am actually more likely to stick to it now eight months in, nine months in, I wasn't the first four or five months I really was like, I would say that I spent more time not working out than I did working out. And I was okay with that because I knew ultimately by the end of the year I would get here, right? I would get to a place where I was like, I can see my progress.
And that's the entire point of giving yourself this time is that it's enough time for you to be able to like see the progress and see that you're moving towards where you want to go.
The way I think about it's like if you look at let's say like the stock market or any really most things, if you look at like progress over time, it's not a linear line straight up. It doesn't work that way. Like if you look at the stock market, it is an upward trend, but it goes in like little squigglies right–up, down, up, down, up, down as it's moving up.
It's the same thing with your goals. It's the same thing as I look at for myself. Like, we are moving in this direction because I've even just picked the goal and it's still on my radar, right? We're moving in this direction because I keep coming back to it even when I'm inconsistent. And I know over a year that gives me enough time to see like, oh, there's upward trend, there's upward movement, and then the next year there'll be another building block and the next year is another building block. I don't have to do this all right now. I don't have to become, you know, a fitness model in my first year of deciding to work out.
And when you can slow down like that, it will change your entire life. I do not say that lightly when I tell you the compound effect will change your life. It has fundamentally been the thing that has changed everything for me.
I did it with my podcast, I did it with my coaching business. I've done it with my health, I've done it with everything where it's like, this doesn't have to happen this year. This can happen over the next 2, 3, 5, 10 years. I'm giving myself the gift of that time to see where this goes, to pivot, to evaluate, to see what I like to learn more about myself. And so what I want you to start thinking about when you think about your goals for the year or when you think about, you know, anything, how you do anything is yes, we want to look at our 90 day goals 'cause we want to look at like what is the next step that I want to take and what are the things I want to focus on right now? But we also want to look at like what is this the building block for? Where is this going, right? Who is the person I want to become by stacking this block, by putting this step up? Where am what, you know, where is that future me that I'm trying to step up to and how does this take me there?
And when I know that and that's the general direction I'm going in, then I don't have to have like these metrics and this, this rigidness that every single day I have to be perfect in order to get there. I'm not going to be, I mean we can just lay that to rest right now.
You will not be consistent because that is not the way the human brain works and that's okay. And it's not the inconsistency that's a problem, it's what we make it mean, right? It's the fact that we conclude that that means that we're not going to make it anywhere. And I think when you can stop with that rigidity and you can stop with that perfectionism and you can allow yourself a little bit of breathing room to look at these as stepping stones year after year towards the new version of yourself, the future you, the 10 year future, you, it gives you so much more space to experiment and slow down and try different things and take a break and be a human and buffer and do all the other stuff and still come back to it and still build towards it, right?
And so this is honestly what I envisioned with the Quitter Club and with my membership and the reason I wanted to create it. And the reason I think that it's really important for people to commit to a year long kind of assessment, why I really want people in there for a whole year is because it gives you the time and space to choose one goal for that year to choose one thing you want to focus on and break that down into 90 day goals.
But to give yourself the space to build one block, to build one step to say, okay, this year I want to focus on my business, or this year I'm going to focus on figuring out what it is I want to do with my life. Or this year I'm going to focus on paying off my debt and getting my finances in order and that's all I'm focusing on. And that's going to be two steps forward, one step back.
And I know that that's going to be the foundation for the next year and the next year and the next year. And if I keep stacking this in three years, five years, 10 years, my entire life will be different and I will have done it with compassion and with love instead of constantly shaming myself and beating myself up.
My goal with the Quitter Club, with my membership was that people could come every year and change what they're working on because that's what I do. I decide like one year I'm going to focus on my business and then once I have that foundation and I know like, hey, I'm kind of on my way, I know how to handle this now, then the next year I picked something else. I picked health right? This year was health. Maybe next year I go back to business and it's like, listen, now I like working out and I kind of got my nutrition in order and I've learned all this stuff about how much rest I need and how much sleep I need. And I've done all of this.
So maybe I go back to like, now I want to scale my business, now I want to sell more. Okay, great. Like that becomes my goal and I give myself a year to learn that. And as I keep doing this and I keep coming back and I get coaching and I work on my thoughts and I don't make it mean anything about myself, I slowly build the life that I want.
So if you take anything away from this, I really hope that you just truly understand that there is so much more time than you want to believe that there is. You have so much time to become the person that you want to be, to have the experiences that you want. You have to slow down.
And I know that seems counterintuitive 'cause it seems like if I want to get to this place, if I want to be this person, I have to speed up. But you've seen what that frantic energy has gotten you, you've seen how much that leads to spinning and overwhelm and procrastination. So just try it for a little bit this way.
Start noticing like when I slow down and give myself this time to increase my capacity, to be able to try these things, to let myself fail, to give myself time to breathe. How much of a difference does it make? I promise you it will change everything.
And if you want help and you want to join us in the Quitter Club, I would love to have you in there. You can go to lessonsfromaquitter.com/quitterclub. This is where we work on these goals and you get the coaching that you need so that you stay the course so that you don't go all or nothing on me.
And we're going to have some exciting news the next time we open up the doors at the end of this month. So make sure you get on that wait list. Make sure you join us and let's build the life that you want one year at a time. All right, my friends, I hope this was helpful and I will be back next week with another episode.
Hey, if you are looking for more in-depth help with your career, whether that's dealing with all of the stress, worry, and anxiety that's leading to burnout in your current career or figuring out what your dream career is and actually going after it, I want you to join me in the Quitter Club. It is where we quit what is no longer working. Like perfectionism, people pleasing imposter syndrome… and we start working on what does, and we start taking action towards the career and the life that you actually want. We will take the concepts that we talk about on the podcast and apply them to your life and you will get the coaching, tools, and support that you need to actually make some real change. So go to lessonsfromaquitter.com/quitter club and get on the waitlist. Doors are closed right now, but they will be open soon.