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Hey, welcome to Lessons from a Quitter where we believe that it is never too late to start over. No matter how much time or energy you've spent getting to where you are. If ultimately you are unfulfilled, then it is time to get out. Join me each week for both inspiration and actionable tips so that we can get you on the road to your dreams. Hello my friends. Welcome to another episode. I am so excited to have you here. I wanted to do a episode about goal setting and I initially, what I was planning out kind of the podcaster this month, much like everybody else, I wanted to do it in the beginning of the month cuz that's when people do goals, right? New Year, new you, new year resolutions. And it wasn't working out with the schedule and I actually was like, well it's sort of perfect to do it later.
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And I actually was like, maybe I should do a goal setting episode in a couple of months when everybody has sort of fallen off the bandwagon of their goals and they maybe need a reminder. But I decided to do it now later in the month in January. Because if you didn't set a goal for New Year's resolutions, if you decided like I don't believe in doing that, that's fine. I would just ask you to consider maybe reconsidering after you listen to this. And if you have, and it's now been a couple of weeks and you haven't done anything towards the goal, I want you to reevaluate a little bit with the framework that I'm gonna give you today about how to pick a goal and maybe you pick the wrong goal, maybe you wanna pick another goal. So I wanted to talk about how I teach goal setting and I did a goal setting class and a scheduling class in the quitter club this month, at the beginning of this month.
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So if you listen to this and you want more strategy of like how do I break it down once I have my goal, how do I break it down into quarterly goals? How do I make sure I'm, you know, not falling off six months into it? How do I chunk it down weekly? Because what happens for so many of us is we pick a goal and then for the year, let's say it's a very big goal and then we come home after a long day's work and it's too overwhelming to even figure out where to start cuz there's so many things to do. Let's say you wanna start a business and you come home and you're like, I have no idea what I wanna do. And when you get overwhelmed you bear your head in the sand and you decide not to do anything. And so we're like, well I'll just watch some Netflix cause I have no idea what to do and then I feel all this shame and I go through that whole process.
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We wanna end that. So if you want help with that, like actually figuring out how to figure out what to do each week, how to schedule it, how to make sure you find the time that's in the goal setting and scheduling class that that is in the quitter club. So make sure you join and watch that class and start creating some kind of, I don't even like to use the word goal, some kind of, you know, north star that you're pushing yourself towards, that you're working towards, that you're using for your own growth. Okay, so here's the thing that I really wanted to say when I teach this class, when I teach goal setting, my number one rule is that you can only pick one goal a year. That's it. You only get one. And people always push back against this and they get really upset and they constantly ask me like, can I please have two please?
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But there's all these other things I wanna do and I'm gonna talk about the fact that like there are other things you can obviously work on and I'll give you myself an example, but you only get one goal. This is a hard and fast rule. It's like I will not wave on it and I'm gonna explain why for so many of us, whenever there comes a time where we wanna change things in our lives, and a lot of times it's New Year's just because it gives you kind of a marker that a year has passed, right? It could be your birthday, it could be at an anniversary, like a work anniversary. Those are the times that people tend to reevaluate their lives because there's some kind of a marker that a whole year has gone by and you start questioning like, did the things I want happen?
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Did anything change? What am I doing? And so it's a natural time to want to start to change things and there's nothing wrong with that. You know, I, I know a lot of times New Year's resolutions get a bad rap and people will make fun of it. And what they're making fun of is that you know, you make a resolution and then you give up after a couple of weeks. Which by the way we'll talk about on the podcast episode next week on how to follow through. But there's nothing wrong with wanting to reevaluate your life. In fact we should do it more often. It shouldn't be once a year. In my goal in class we talk about how you should do it quarterly and really look at like what worked and what didn't work. The more awareness you have, the more intentional you are, the more you can change things, the more you can figure out what's working and what's not.
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And so New Year's is just a perfect time to say like, hey, a whole year has gone by. Maybe now is the time to just reflect. I mean like did anything change? Did my life go the way I wanted it to? Are there things I wanna change? Otherwise you just year after year goes by, nothing changes. And so many of us, like a decade goes by and you look back and you're like how did this entire decade of my life pass and I didn't do anything that I wanted to do? So when you start getting to the place of like, okay, I wanna evaluate, I wanna figure out what I wanna work on. What so many of us do is from this desperate kind of panicked place of I need to change my life in order to feel better. Or there's so many things wrong with me.
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We don't think this consciously, but we just think there's so many things wrong in my life that I need to fix. And in a moment of maybe brief motivation, we start looking at a laundry list of things that have to change, right? I wanna start a business this year and I wanna work out three times a week and I wanna have date nights with my husband once a month and I wanna make sure I have a morning routine every morning where I journal and I do some meditation so I can start out my day, right? And then when I go to bed at night, I wanna make sure I'm reading, I'm not on my phone and I wanna like make sure that I have some like quiet time to read more and learn more and on and on, right? We come up with like 15 different things.
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We have five different things that we wanna do this year and we're certain that like that's gonna all of a sudden make us have this perfect life. And so we're excited about it at the time and it sounds great and we all know what happens, right? Like you do it for a couple weeks, willpower doesn't last and life gets in the way. And lo and behold, you're not a different human with a different brain. Like we think all of a sudden I'm gonna be this super motivated person that doesn't ever procrastinate, that gets up and just does what they're supposed to do that doesn't have negative feelings or resistance around this stuff that sticks to things perfectly. And then when that doesn't happen, we give up and I just want you to like stop being surprised that you are not gonna be a different person.
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You're gonna be the same person and you're perfectly perfect the way you are. You don't have to be a different person. But we wanna start partnering with our brain and not giving it more ammo. We wanna start making sure that we don't set ourselves up in a situation that's going to allow ourselves to beat ourselves up more, right? And so this is why I have this one goal rule is because what I see happen, I want you to just imagine, let's say you have all those goals that we just talked about and it's the end of the week, okay? And let's say a couple of nights this week you did what you were supposed to do with respect to your business. You went through my goal setting class, you scheduled things out, you had your three things you were gonna work on this week and you did 'em all knocked it out of the park, you came home instead of watching Netflix, you sat down and you researched, you know, blog hosting platforms you were gonna have your blog on and you started a class on Udemy on how to drop ship for Amazon or whatever it is the business that you're gonna create.
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Amazing, okay? And but you didn't do anything else. That's all you did. Okay? What do you think your brain's gonna do? What do you think the thoughts are that you're going to have at the end of that week? Do you think that your thoughts are gonna be like, oh my god, I rocked it. I am so amazing, I'm so proud of myself. I created a schedule and I stuck to that schedule and I got these three things done and I did a little bit of research and I took a baby step towards my dreams. I am just really proud of myself. We all know that that's not what your brain's gonna do because you haven't trained it to do that. What your brain's gonna do is go, well yeah but you didn't work out. Remember when you said you were gonna work out three days a week, it's been one week, you haven't done anything.
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Why would you be so silly? Is to think you were gonna do that. Who do you think you are? We knew this would happen, might as well give him now. Oh we were supposed to read every night. That's laughable. You've been on your phone every night, you're a terrible person, right? Our brain is so dramatic, like you're clearly never gonna make it in your life because you can't stick to one thing. But that's what happens. Like when we set up all of these things where we want our mental energy and our focus and our willpower and our drive and everything to be dispersed amongst a bunch of things, your brain is always going to look for where you're failing, right? We already have a negativity bias. I've talked about that where it's like our brain is a kind of problem seeking machine and that is by design because it keeps you alive.
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It's looking at like where are the things that could go wrong so I can keep myself alive. Obviously in our day-to-day life we don't need that as much anymore in our society, but it still does that. So like that's what it's trained to do and that's what we've trained it over decades to do too is always look for where I'm failing. That's what your brain does. And it's like look, look at all these other goals we didn't do well on. Or even imagine if you are keeping up with it. But let's say you're excelling at one and not at the others. Maybe you're doing it a little bit here and there, you're not doing it as much. Where do you think your brain's gonna focus? And it's gonna create all of this shame, it's gonna create all of this guilt and it's gonna create all of this resistance and negative emotion and you're gonna attach a story to it and you're gonna call yourself horrible things and you're gonna use it as evidence to prove that you can't stick to goals.
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That there's something wrong with you and there's something wrong with your brain and blah blah blah blah blah. Like we all know how that goes cause that's our brains have been working for years and years and then we give up because it feels terrible. Nobody likes feeling like that. So when your brain is telling you you'll never amount to anything, see this is why you're like this. Like it's laughable that you thought you were gonna work out three days a week. It's laughable that you thought you were gonna read every night. Oh you wanna journal in the morning, what do you like now? Some kind of hippie, you know, whatever your brain says, maybe that's just my brain, it feels terrible. So we just drop it. We're just like, I don't even want this goal. I don't wanna have to listen to my brain and these thoughts.
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I don't wanna have to be alone in my head with these thoughts over and over again. It's just easier to say, you know what? I don't have any goals for this year. I don't want a goal. And so for so many of you, if you decided this year that you're not gonna set a goal, I want you to really think about is this, what's happening is this what has happened in the past where you decided that the solution was to not have a goal instead of the solution being learning how to turn down that inner critic, learning how to have your own back, learning how to be more compassionate, learning how to set better goals, learning how to actually achieve goals. Like it's fascinating when you think about it when I say this, it's like how did we all decide that the solution was you know what, I'm just not gonna set a goal.
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And we make fun of people that have new Year's resolutions. Like yeah, that's the way to do it. I'll just never try to grow because it's too hard and I beat myself up and I don't wanna do that so I'll just try to be content with what I have even though I want something more. If that's what you're doing, I just want you to reconsider. And maybe it's just that you didn't know how to set goals properly. Now there's nothing wrong with you. All of us procrastinate, all of us fall off, none of us are gonna be perfect at this. That's not what you need as a goal. That's not what you need to do to achieve a goal. And maybe reconsider like what do I wanna work on in this year and what is the one thing? So this is why I want it to be so important to you is that like you have to learn how to prioritize and filter in your brain.
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Like when you have a priority it acts as a filter. So for instance, if my goal is a business goal, if my goal was like a revenue goal, like this year is gonna be a year that I focus on my business, right? I'm gonna make that decision then everything else is a nice tap. I'm not saying that you can't work on anything else. I'm not saying that when I choose a goal, I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna work on my business. That means I'm not gonna work out, I'm not gonna try to make time with my children. I don't care about date nights. I'm not gonna read like I could only work. No, obviously not. It's just that what I'm measuring, what I'm putting my attention on, what I really are, my like big rock things. If you listen to the goal setting workshop in quitter club, you'll know what I mean.
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But like what are the things that are gonna move the needle forward? Like my priority is the business right now. So that means if hey one week the decision is between you know, working out that day or recording a podcast, it's gonna be recording a podcast. I likely can fit both of those things in. But you get what I'm saying? Or if like it's just a busy month and I've been, we've been doing a lot and I don't get to a date night. Okay, maybe I'll shoot for next month. Now if my goal had been like my marriage is let's say on the rocks and what's really important to me is that we strengthen our marriage. And so this year my only goal is to make sure that we have a date night every week and whatever it might be, go to therapy or whatever the the goal is, then that's my priority.
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That's what I'm signaling to to my brain that like anything else is great. Of course I'm gonna work, of course I'm gonna take care of my children, of course I'm gonna try to eat healthy. But when it comes to like this or that, it's gonna be this. This is the thing we're focusing on. It's gonna be what we measure, right? It's gonna be the thing that I sit down and I'm constantly like evaluating did it go well? Am I doing it right? Could I do something different? What else do I wanna do here? Everything else can be more of like, yeah, I wanna try that, I wanna try working out, I wanna try reading in the mornings. Some days I'm gonna do it, some days I'm not. Okay. Because when you start like telling your brain what is important to you will start looking for that.
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If I tell my brain everything is important, my brain is sort of scattered and that's when I become overwhelmed. When I tell my brain like this is the one thing that's important to me this year, this is what we're focusing on, this is what we're measuring, this is what we're scheduling, this is what we're looking at. I look for those opportunities. I constantly like figure out how to make that work. How do I like with this crazy schedule that I might have with my kids? How do I make sure I get this in right? If my goal is to work out three times a week and that's all I'm focusing on and that's all I'm evaluating, that doesn't mean I'm not gonna mess up in some weeks. I'm not gonna do the three days of course that I, I'm going to cause I have a human brain but then I can evaluate, then I can look at like what went right, what went wrong.
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You have to stop overwhelming yourself and start figuring out what's one thing I wanna change this year. And what's incredible about this and I've now practiced this for the last couple of years, my goals have been about my business the last two years. Surprisingly this year it's not about my business, it's about my health. But what has been so fascinating for me is that when I pick one goal, I miraculously get a lot more done in a lot of other areas of my life. When there isn't this pressure to be perfect at all of it or to achieve all of these milestones or to achieve all of these goals all the time, it becomes much easier for me to just do things naturally, right? Like decide I wanna read some days, some days I don't. I end up reading more, decide that I'm gonna work out when I can and if I can't that's fine.
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I end up working out more. I end up getting more things done in my life. And I'm sure you guys can understand why because when we use shame, like every study in psychology has now proven that shame is one of the worst motivators, right? It doesn't work. And yet all we have used with ourselves is shame. All we've used is beating ourselves up to try to reach goals, to push ourselves said of horribly cruel things to ourselves under the guise of like this is what's gonna motivate me and I'm just here to offer that. Like what if that wasn't true and what have you accomplished? What you've accomplished in spite of how your brain has talked to you, not because of, because I'm telling you the more compassion and the kinder and the more gentler I've become with myself, the more I've accomplished. And I realize now, like when I took that pressure off of like all, I don't have to get everything down right now, I don't have to worry about every single thing in my life, it just made so much room for doing things with ease, doing things the way I wanted to, deciding each week what like maybe this week I have a lot more energy so I'm gonna do a lot more, I'm gonna work out more, I'm gonna be able to get more done.
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Maybe next week I don't so I'm gonna do less. So I don't mean to say that you have to choose one goal and then not do anything else. Like that's the only thing you eat and breathe and sleep. Like of course that's not gonna happen in your lives. It's just like what is my priority? What is the one thing I'm gonna focus on? The other thing I want you to think about when you're thinking about the one thing, cuz I, the next question I get is like, but how do I know what one thing to pick? How do I know which one to work on? And that's gonna be a personal decision and what's most important to you right now. But I want you to think about this. Uh, the reason so many of us want to do all of the things all the time, we want to do 500 goals and change everything is because we have this mistaken belief that it's gonna be better there than it is here.
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That once I lose this weight and I read every night and I journal in the mornings and I have a business and I do all this stuff, then like my life is gonna be so much better than it is here. And you know a concept that I talk about a lot if you listen to the podcast is that your life is gonna be 50 50 even there it's gonna be 50 50. I know that's hard to accept and people argue with this one too fine, maybe it'll be 70 30. I don't know. There's really great things about being wherever your goals are. But you've all experienced this. You've had goals before that you've reached. You wanted to get the degree you wanted to get that job, you wanted to make a certain amount of money, you wanted to get married, you wanted to have kids.
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You got all those things or some of those things or whatever your case may be and it's 50 50. Like sometimes it's instantly we move on to the next thing or we figure out all the stress. I see this every day with people that I coach is like they are in so much suffering and so much pain about where they're at and they wanna just change something. They wanna quit. Like they think that's the answer and then they quit and then they're immediately on to the next set of stresses, the next set of anxiety, the next set of fear. How am I gonna make money? Am I gonna figure out what I wanna do? What if this doesn't work? What if I have a gap on my resume, right? There's no, it's not like, oh now I quit and there's euphoria all day long. I'm just so happy every moment of every day.
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We all know this. We see this with every star, every famous rich person, right? If getting to that place where you were beautiful and rich and famous would make you happy, they would all be happy. And they are not because there's no escaping the human condition, there's no escaping the human experience. Their life is 50 50. There's a bunch of stress, there's a bunch of negative emotion, there's a bunch of depression and sadness and all this other stuff that comes with it. And I know oftentimes it's hard to like empathize with that because it seems so much better in other places and that's fine. I just say look at it yourself. Like look at where you were 10 years ago and the things that you thought that you wanted to have and then you have them did it all of a sudden make your life rainbows and butterflies did it all of a sudden mean that you don't have any stress, it's laughable.
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Like of course not. And yet we keep thinking, but once I get this thing then I'm, it's gonna be amazing then I'm gonna be so happy. And I just want you to know that that's not true. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't work for it. I'm gonna talk about like this, I'm a very much a believer in goal setting and I'm very much think we should push ourselves to be the best version of ourselves. And I very much believe that it can be better in so many ways. I just know that there's no rush to get there because there's, it's not better there than it is here. And I think when a lot of times when we want to do everything all at once is because we think if I fix all of these things then I'll be happy. If I just do all of these goals this year, if I hunker down and use my willpower and lose weight and build the business and have date nights, then like all of a sudden everything is gonna be so beautiful and amazing.
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And when we get desperate for that because if we're trying to clamor our way to this destination, not only are we in a rush and we like miss the whole journey, but this is why so many of us think we need to change so many things. And when you can slow down and realize it's not better there, it's different. Some things are better, some things are worse. And I still wanna get there cause I wanna experience it. I wanna see what that's like. I wanna push myself, I wanna grow, I wanna see if I can have a business. I wanna do all these things. That's great but I don't have to get there right now. Right here is just as good. How can I love right here? How can I really enjoy where I'm at? How can I enjoy this journey to there when I can slow down?
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It doesn't become as hard to pick one, right? The only reason I need to pick all is because I think I need all of those to change everything in my life in order for my life to be good. But when I realize like my life's gonna be 50 50 there too, then it can be just more fun. It can be like what goal do I wanna work on? Cuz it just sounds cool cuz it's something I want to experience. What's a goal I can pick just because it'll make me better at something. I'll learn a skill, I'll learn more about myself then it doesn't have to be I have to work on everything all at once. Right now on this podcast I have talked about how like li short life is right and we all know that like life, life is short and you shouldn't spend it doing something you hate all the time and you shouldn't spend it in a state of constant stress and overwhelm and overworked exhaustion, right?
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It is very short but life is also very long. There is a lot of years left for you. Whenever I get myself in a rush, I really like slow down and think I have the next 30, 40 years, 50 years, who knows how long I'm gonna live. We'll just go with 80. I have 40 years left. I can do a lot of things in 40 years. I don't have to do everything this year. There doesn't have to be a rush. And when I can get to that, it makes it like it slows things so much more down where're like I don't have to fix, I don't really have to fix anything in my life, but like I don't have to fix anything all in 2023. And here is the thing that when people resist this stuff so much, when they want to take on everything, fine take on every goal.
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But we all know what happens. You give up and then year after year passes and nothing actually changes. Whereas when you do it this way and you pick one, it's like building blocks, right? Like you work on one skillset, you work on how to build a business, how to keep your word to yourself, to stick to your schedule, how to do things when you don't wanna do it. Like all of that comes from working on your business. Let's say you do that in 2023, you will have that going forward for the rest of your life. 20, 24 you can add something else, right? Like I just mentioned for the last two years I was focused on the business. That was what I wanted to get off the ground. That is what I wanted to grow and it's great and I could still focus on my business, I could still decide that this year is just gonna be a growth year.
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But as I've mentioned in my recap video, I've been having a lot of health issues and it just very quickly interesting how it can change your priorities. And I realize like my health is more important obviously than anything else. And so that's my goal. And I'm okay with the fact that like my business might have to take a backseat in certain weeks because if my goal is to feel better and to figure out what's going on and to heal myself and to do the things that I need to do, then that's what my goal is gonna be. And guess what? Next year I can pick back up my business as my goal. And again, that doesn't mean I'm not gonna work on my business. Of course I am of course. And I have this funny feeling I'm gonna come back to this episode next year that it's gonna grow more when I'm not focusing on it as much.
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Cause I'm not mucking up stuff all over the place. And so that's what my goal is this year and then next year I'll come back back and I'll figure something else out. And so when you realize that there's time, there's time and as you pick one goal each year and you add to it, you start changing things so much faster. Yes, it might take a couple of years but at least in a couple years your whole life can change instead of trying to do everything all at once and then quitting. So the last thing I will say about how to pick this one goal is when you can kind of slow down and when you really realize that like there is no there, I want you to pick a goal that I call a journey goal instead of a destination goal. Okay? We all know this cliche, like it's not the destination, it's the journey.
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And yet we're all trying to get to that destination. And part of where I want you to just question yourself when you're doing this goal setting us off is like am I picking a destination goal? Am I picking a goal that's like I have to kill myself and hate it and like use willpower and be miserable the entire time to get to there to get to this destination? Cause I think I need to get to this destination to be happy. I need to make $50,000 or a hundred thousand dollars and then I can be happy. Or is it a journey goal? Is it a goal that the point of the goal is who I become in this process? The point of the goal is what do I have to do? How can I enjoy it? What are the things I'm gonna learn in the pursuit of this?
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Whether I hit 50,000 or a hundred thousand in my business, whether I lose the weight or whatever the goal is, is not the point like am I gonna become a person that's disciplined? Am I gonna become a person that keeps their word to themselves? Am I gonna become a person that stops pupil pleasing? Am I gonna become a person that can stick to a calendar and can maybe be more organized, whatever? That's the point. The rest of it's just a cherry on top. And so you wanna pick a goal that's gonna help you grow into the person that you wanna be in that journey, you're gonna start seeing how you have to change in order to be that person. And so here's the real life hack for goals. Here's the real way to stick to goals even and define goals that will change your life because you realize that even when you get there, you're gonna have the same brain, you're gonna be the same person, you can have a lot of compassion for that.
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It's not gonna change everything. Is to find that journey goal, right? The goal, the goal that is worth it regardless of what happens. Okay? So you have to get very clear on what you're going to gain by doing that goal even if you don't hit the result. Okay? So I'll give you an example. Like for instance, like I said, if let's say a business goal, let's say my business goal one of the years was a hundred thousand dollars and I told you I got to 93,000, it didn't actually matter at at all. I was so stoked with the 93,000 and it wasn't about hitting a hundred thousand, it was about who did I have to become to have a business. I made a hundred thousand dollars in one year and what I started realizing was whatever I do, I'm gonna learn how to put myself out there and I'm gonna learn how to face face rejection and I'm gonna learn how to process my emotions and I'm gonna learn how to market and I'm gonna learn how to fail and not crawl into a hole and wanna die, right?
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I'm gonna learn how to not be so sensitive to things not going my way. All of these skills that I'm gonna learn by putting myself out there, whether I actually have a coaching business or I make a hundred thousand dollars is not the point. That's great. Obviously I want it to work. But it's like the person I became in that year that had a hundred thousand dollars business was a completely different person than the person that started that was full of fear, that was full of doubt, that didn't think that she could handle if someone said no to her. And when I did it and I was like, oh, a lot of people said no to me and I'm still here and I'm still just as worthy and I can still love myself, like that shifted something for me. It made it easier for me to go after bigger goals.
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I talked on social media about the fact that I keep playing kind of peek kaaboo on social media. Like I'll show up for a couple weeks and then it becomes too much for me. As a people pleaser, my nervous system can't handle it. People wanna argue about everything. People wanna tell you what you're doing wrong all the time. It is a lot. And I do it for a couple weeks and then hide and like you won't see me for like a month. I mean I'll be on stories, but like I don't post and then I come back and I was talking about why I keep coming back. The point of it isn't like can I be consistent on social media for the sake of being consistent on social media? Or even can I use social media to grow my audience? For me, the goal has always been can I use my voice and be okay if people don't agree with me, can I not need everyone to have the same opinion as me?
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Can I be okay if people criticize me and not accept it and like have a differing opinion? Can I set my own boundaries of what people are allowed and not allowed to say in my space? All of those things will translate into every area of my life, right? When I'm a people pleaser in one area, I'm a people pleaser everywhere. It shows up everywhere. So I could decide, it's too hard to post on social media, I don't wanna do this, but what I am running away from is the underlying problem that I have an issue with people disagreeing with me or I have an issue with people thinking I'm not good, quote unquote, or that I might harm someone. Or what I'm saying is, you know, irresponsible or I dunno, I have a lot of fears about that and cancel culture and all that stuff.
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And part of what I'm working through is how do I keep doing that from a place of love, loving myself so that I can learn that like it's okay, people are allowed to have their thoughts, they can totally disagree with me and I'm still allowed to say what I wanna say and I don't have to be silent just because somebody else is gonna get upset. That's a really hard lesson for me to learn. But regardless of what happens at the end of the year in my social media, I will have changed so much. I will have learned so much, I will have gained so much that will translate next year and in other areas of my life and have these ripple effects. If you decide posting on social media as an example is worth it each time, not because the number of likes I get or the number of comments I get or the number of followers I get, but it's worth it because it's a practice of me having my voice be heard.
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It's a practice of me learning to take up space. It's a practice of me being unapologetic about what I wanna think and say, then I win every time I post. It doesn't matter what happens. It's the same thing with let's say a business goal. It's a practice of me being able to see my own gifts and being able to charge what I'm worth or what I think my my are worth. It's a practice in me taking up space again, it's a practice in me not making myself little for other people to feel comfortable. That's what it is. Whatever I hit in that revenue goal doesn't actually matter at all. And so you wanna make sure that whatever you're gonna get is gonna be worth it regardless of the result because of the process. If your goal is to run a marathon, it's not because you wanna cross the 26 mile marker.
(30:41):
It's because you wanna become a person that learns discipline and learns to push through. When your mind is selling you, you can't do it and schedules exercise and sticks to it, whatever that is. And so regardless of whether you actually run the marathon or not, doesn't matter. The person that you become in that journey is worth it every day when you tell yourself, you know what, if I go for this run, it's worth it because I'm proving to myself it's one more like piece of evidence in my evidence bank, then I'm a person that can trust myself. I'm a person that will stay to my word. I'm a person that will do hard things even when I don't wanna do it. I'm a person that's disciplined, who cares what happens with the actual marathon? This is what I'm trying to gain from it. So I want you all to reevaluate if, if you picked a number of goals, I want you to go back and just pick one for this year.
(31:28):
Just decide which one's gonna be the focus. The other ones can be there too. You'll get to them when you can and you won't when you won't. But which one goal are you gonna pick? And what is the journey that you're gonna go on to get to that goal? How is it worth it to stick to that goal regardless of what the result is? What are all the things that make the process of you going through that goal worth it for you? The more you get solid in that answer, the easier it becomes to stick to it, right? When every day you come home from work and you have to like start Googling something for a website you wanna set up. When the end goal is to have a blog that makes money, it seems so far away that it's easy to think like, ah, it's not worth it.
(32:10):
But when the goal becomes like I stick to my schedule, I wanna be a person that has integrity with themselves and when I put something on my schedule, I wanna do it then every week and it's time to watch Netflix versus that, it becomes a lot easier to be like, who cares if this actually becomes a website or a blog? What I'm gaining here is showing myself that I'm a person who can trust herself, who will stick to a reward to herself, right? Then it becomes easier to have your why of what you're doing, like why you wanna do it. Then it becomes all of a sudden you have thoughts that create more motivation. So that's what I want you to focus on to find the goal that you wanna work on and then get into the go to club and learn how to actually break it down into 90 day goals and 30 day goals and weekly goals and how to schedule it so that you actually do the work.
(32:59):
That's all in the quit club right now. And then next week I'm gonna talk to you about how to follow through and I'm gonna open up the doors to the quit club for a couple of days because I want you all in that class. In February, it's gonna be how to follow through, which is the biggest problem. Every single human struggles with procrastination giving up too early. And I'm gonna teach you a process that's going to teach you how to follow through. It will change everything. So if you wanna get in on those, it's, it'll only be open a couple of days so that you can join live for that masterclass. Um, so go to lessons from a quitter.com/quitter club and get on the wait list so that you're notified as soon as doors open. I hope to see you in there and I'll see you all next week.
(33:37):
Hey, if you are looking for more in-depth help with your career, whether that's dealing with all of the stress, worry, and anxiety that's leading to burnout in your current career or figuring out what your dream career is and actually going after it, I want you to join me in the Quitter Club. It is where we quit what is no longer working like perfectionism, people pleasing imposter syndrome, and we start working on what does and we start taking action towards the career and the life that you actually want. We will take the concepts that we talk about on the podcast and apply them to your life and you will get the coaching tools and support that you need to actually make some real change. So go to lessons from a quitter.com/quitter club and get on the wait list. Doors are closed right now, but they will be open soon.