Hey, welcome to Lessons from a Quitter, where we believe that it is never too late to start over. No matter how much time or energy you've spent getting to where you are. If ultimately you are unfulfilled, then it is time to get out. Join me each week for both inspiration and actionable tips so that we can get you on the road to your dreams. Hello my friends and welcome to another episode. I'm so excited you are here. This is another bonus episode and if you are just tuning in, I was just going back two episodes cuz this is the continuation of a live challenge I did called Love It or Leave It. Today is day three where we talk about deciding to leave it and the steps that you need to take if you are thinking about leaving your career and I break down what those steps are and um, how you go about doing it.
So make sure you start with day one and then check this out. Even if you don't think you're gonna leave it, uh, I would suggest going through these exercises cause it's really important and powerful even if you wanna stay. And as you will hear as we go through it, I talk about the 90 day decision that I am doing a mini program that we are running in my membership. Today is the last day to join. So if you are listening to this on June 1st, when it comes out 2023 today, doors are gonna close and then we're gonna be starting the 90 day decision program together starting next week. So make sure you join today. What we're gonna do in the 90 day decision is I'm gonna teach you how to break down your decisions into quarterly, uh, decisions that you can then start evaluating, get data, figure out what you wanna do and take a step from there.
It will help you combat all of the overwhelm and the doomsday and the going back and forth and the catastrophizing that we tend to do when we wanna make a decision and which causes us to sit in indecision. You will learn in depth how to make decisions that you will not regret. How to start evaluating the decisions, how to stop beating yourself up. This is a part of the membership at no additional cost. It's the same 1 97 a month for the membership. And this is just an addition. You get access to everything else that's in the membership, including all of the coaching calls, like eight live coaching calls a month, about two a week, the written coaching, the community, the private podcast, feed, the roadmap, all of it. And on top of that we'll be doing this 90 day decision. Now we will continue on in the next two months in July and August to focusing on how do you make the decision of whether you're gonna love it or leave it.
So in July we're gonna focus on loving it and you're gonna get Love It plans and you're gonna figure out how you can actively start deciding what parts you can love and what parts you're not gonna accept and whether you're gonna leave. And then in August we're gonna create leave it planned. So what we talk about today in August, we're gonna actually do together, but even if you are not deciding whether to love it or leave it, whether you know, maybe you wanna stay or you wanna go, the same principles and the same tools apply to any decision, any goal you wanna go after, any dec big decision you're making in your life, you will apply the same things. And so I would highly suggest just learning this skill. So if you need to learn how to make decisions, if you're not great at making decisions, if you tend to go back and forth, if you tend to regret things or beat yourself up, if you tend to stay stuck, then this is for you my friend.
It is one of the most crucial skills you can learn because you cannot take action if you're not willing to make decisions without all the right choices, without you know, knowing everything, without knowing how things are gonna turn out. It's one of the key skills that a lot of us are never taught. And so I want you to come and learn and join us. You can go to lessons from a quitter.com/quitter club and make sure you join today. All right, without further ado, here is day three of the love it or leave it challenge. We're back. Okay, here is the lie that I can't leave because I don't know what else I could do. Okay? For so many of us, we have decided that we can't leave, that we're stuck here, that there's nothing I can do because I don't know what else I would do or because I can't make it work somehow, right?
We have this belief that I can't, I have debt, I would need to replace my income, whatever the reason is, there's some reason that means I can't make it work, not right now, which means that I just can't leave. Which leads so many of us to just give up on that dream, to just get overwhelmed or become resigned to the fact that I guess I just have to stay stuck here. I guess I just have to make it work here. And I wanna show you how that is not true today. You could leave right now, every one of you could leave right now. You're not stuck and it's really important to see that you're afraid, right? We're not stuck here, we're just scared to take the step. And that's okay. That fear might be very rational. It might be the right thing to do to stay, but to tell yourself that you are stuck is only a disservice to yourself.
All it does is create overwhelm and helplessness and kind of this victim mentality that doesn't let you create what you want in the future. Knowing that you have an option is extremely important and it's also very empowering, okay? Understanding that we are not in a cage, we are not for most of us, if you're listening to this webinar or you're listening to the podcast, you are one of the lucky few. You are not in any type of indentured servitude where you have to stay. And so you have to really understand that we need to not confuse a hard choice with no choice. Okay? It might be difficult to leave. There might be things that you have to give up. The 50 50 might not be in the favor that you want. That's okay. That still doesn't mean that you don't have a choice. You still have a choice.
It's just a hard one because it's really important for us to understand that we have agency over our lives. We have some say yes, there are structural inequalities. Yes, there are things in this world in capitalism that make our lives difficult. Yes, there are financial concerns that we have to think about and we still have agency and we have control over what we wanna create in our lives. We have some say in what we do where the path takes us. Most of us, I would say the vast majority of you could quit tomorrow. You could go in March in there guns blazing and tell them you wanna be out. You. I wouldn't recommend that, but you could, right? Think about all the things you could do. We could just go get a job for Uber. We could start driving Uber. We could go down to the local coffee shop and ask for a position.
We could go to a grocery store and get help. There's tons of work that needs to be done right now in the um, uh, restaurant industry. Apparently they are understaffed. There are other options. Now we may not want to do that stuff. You could move in you with your parents, you could start selling things online. You could get a roommate, you could downsize, you could sell a bunch of your stuff. There's a million options that you could do. I want you to think about layoffs right now. Layoffs are happening, the economy is kind of in a downturn and a lot of people are being let go. And I want you to think that that is a reality for a lot of us. So what would I do if that happened? I would have to figure it out, which means there are some options of me figuring it out, right? If the, if getting let go of your job is on the table for you, that means you also could leave. Because if they can kick you out and then you would have to figure it out, you could also leave of your own volition and figure it out, right? If I have to know how to get another job or go move in with my parents or sell on eBay, my clothes or whatever it is that I wanna do, I could just voluntarily choose to do that.
Here's the thing, you may not want to take these options and it might not be the smart thing to do, right? For a lot of us, I don't wanna like make what I would make if I had to drive for Uber, I wanna make more than that. Or like my mortgage requires that I don't wanna downsize. That's fine. That's a choice I'm making. I would rather keep the salary that I have or the security that I have. But it's really important for me to know that that is my choice for so many of us. When we feel stuck, when we feel like helpless, when we feel hopeless, it makes us feel like we're a victim in our own lives. Like there's nothing else I can do. I've just somehow wound up in this job and there's nowhere for me to go. And that's just not true. A lot of us don't wanna take these other steps because there's shame. Because there's fear. What would people think? People will think I'm a failure. Everyone will judge me. But that doesn't mean that it's not an option.
I want us to think about this concept of taking a hundred percent responsibility for our lives. Okay? Nobody is coming to save us. That's just the reality is like we have to decide what we're gonna do. We have to constantly live with the ramifications of what we're choosing to do. And that might be choosing to stay. And this is sometimes a triggering concept because I think that people want to rail against the fact that there are things that are outside of our control. There are market forces, there are economics, there are systemic issues, there are tons of things that affect us, right? And I'm not saying there're not, I'm not saying that you just get to decide what you want and you can go out and you know, we can live in rainbows and butterflies, but we have to really understand the difference between fault and responsibility.
So I'm not saying it's your fault that you're where you're at from most of us, we have been primed and programmed by patriarchy, by white supremacy, by capitalism, by he culture, by everything to believe certain things, to go into certain routes, to put all of our money into degrees that we may not use anymore. To have debt that maybe we didn't think through or didn't want or whatnot. There's lots of things that happened to us. But understanding the difference between fault and responsibility is really important. Okay? If you get hit by a car, okay, it is that driver that hit you, it's their fault. Let's say you're walking across the street and bam, you get run over. Okay? That sucks. It is a terrible circumstance. It's gonna be very painful. And it's not your fault, it's the driver's fault, okay? It's still your responsibility to do the physical therapy that requires that is likely very painful and not fun and a big dent in your plans and not how you probably thought you'd spend the, the rest of this year.
It's still your responsibility to do that. If you wanna walk again, if you want your pain to be less later, you could lay in bed and be mad at the world and be mad at that driver and say it's not fair. And that's true. All that's true. It's not fair and it is that driver's fault. But no amount of that level of resentment and anger is going to change the fact that if you don't do the physical therapy, you're not gonna be able to walk again. Okay? And so we have to really understand this difference of like, um, blaming, wanting to blame other people, wanting to blame. Like we go through this cycle of blame and shame where it's their fault and then we're mad at ourselves and we have all of these things that come with fault. And I just like to take fault out of the equation.
I just wanna take all of the, the blame and shame. All of it is just so much unnecessary suffering. I like to accept what is like, this is the li world I live in. It is capitalistic. Corporate America sucks. There's all these things that are realities. What do I wanna do with that? How do I wanna show up for my life right now? What are the things I want to do? What do I wanna try? What do I wanna change? If I don't like one area, how can I change it? I may not change it overnight, it may not happen all at once, but I can start figuring out what steps I can take to at least within the structures that I live within the society that I live, create something that is more meaningful for me. Responsibility in my mind is acceptance. It's the ability to respond, right?
There's respond, ability, responsibility. Um, I always think about it like that. I don't control what happens in the world. I don't control the circumstances. I don't control what everybody is going to say or do. I do control how I respond to it. That's the only thing I control. I have that ability all the time. I have that ability to decide am I gonna put up with this? Am I not? Am I gonna set a boundary? Am I not? Am I gonna stand up for myself? Am I not? Am I gonna go somewhere else? Am I not? That's always in my control and that's the only thing I control. So that's all I focus on. I don't sit and focus on, it's not fair that all these people get to do this. It's not fair that that person was born with money. It's not fair. And I'm not saying there isn't time for that.
And there isn't things that we wanna work on in changing the system. Of course we do. Of course we wanna like close the wage gap and we wanna change how corporate America is. All of that is fine. But that isn't gonna happen on my timeline. So I have to also decide how I wanna respond to it. And you have to see this or you will stay stuck forever because if you don't see that you have control, if there is no control, then you are at the mercy of the rest of the world all the time and there's nothing you can do. And while that sort of feels good in the beginning, honestly, it's like we, in a weird way, I don't wanna say we like feeling helpless, but it feels comfortable to be helpless because then it's not on me. Then I don't have to do the scary thing, then I don't have to take action. Cuz if it wasn't my fault in the first place, then there's nothing I can do. And that in the short term feels good because you don't have to face that fear cuz you don't have to take the risk. But in the long term it's te it feels terrible because we are always at the mercy of everybody else because we have no control over our our life.
And so I want us to do a quick exercise as a workshop thing. And I want you to put it in the chat. I want you to come up with three things, three possibilities. And you can put one in the chat. You don't have to put all three if you don't want. We're gonna take a couple minutes. I want you to come up with three possibilities of what you could do if you wanted to quit your job right now or if you got laid off, okay. What are three things that you would do? Maybe you would move in with your parents, you would get another job, you would start working in the family business. You would try to scale that side hustle that you have. You would downsize and sell things on the internet. I don't know. I just want you to come up with like what would be an option if today your um, your job was just no longer, you just decided either you decided you didn't want it or they laid you off or the entire industry disappeared. What would you do?
And gonna give you as a minute and then put it in the chat and let me know. I would host foreign language students in my home for the summer. Okay, that's amazing. I would do more targeted job application approach. Perfect. I would freelance more, expand my freelancing services. I would end my lease and travel for a bit. Oh, how wonderful. How freeing does that sound? I would start a business. How wonderful. I want you all to stop for a second. Like you can keep, keep putting 'em in the chat, but I want you to think about how much is possible now. I would reach out to my friends for any quick freelance jobs. Perfect way to start.
I wanted us to think about how much has changed in the world and how much is possible right now. Like, you know, Becca just said I would end my lease and travel for a bit. There's so much. Uh, you've seen like all these people that like sell off everything and then travel the country in a van. Um, there's all these people that are just randomly like, like you just said, hosting students in their house. I just saw another one for all of you bilingual people. You could just talk to people that wanna learn your language. It's not like you're teaching them, they just want conversations on Zoom and you get paid for it. You could just sit and talk to people who wanted to learn English. It doesn't have to be bilingual. Like so many people wanna learn English. There are so many ways to make money right now online and it might not replace your income.
But if you had to you could do it. Oh my god, so many good ones. Okay. I would lean into my side hustle. Yeah, imagine just going all in. Like I would scale it cuz I would have to. I've been laid off. So I'm in this situation. My options have been rely on my emergency fund, which how smart of you to having one except the financial support from my family. So good. And I just explore different lines of work until I figure out what truly excites me. I love that. Uh, take some much needed downtime. Ugh, my favorite answer, go all in on my side. Hustle, travel more. Start a business. Ask former clients for freelance work. Go on fiber or freelancing platforms, study and learn my hobbies. Look for house pet sitting gigs. Oh my god, yes. Do you know there's a whole uh, app that does that?
I think it's called like rover and you can pet sit for people if you like that. Ah, so good. Um, tutor. Yes, you could tutor online. Now there's so many again, apps that let you do this. Um, work on a farm, focus on hobbies, start a side hustle, rest so good. But, and I just want you to see as you're writing this, I want you to like, let me know like, did you feel something different in your body when you're putting this out? When we direct our brain to a certain way, like we're gonna get to this in a minute, but when we tell ourselves I'm stuck, the problem with telling yourself that is that your brain is a super powerful machine. The most powerful computer out there, but it is filtering i information at like an unbelievable rate. So your brain is constantly filtering out everything that is not that you, you tell it is not important to you.
Right? Have you guys ever noticed when you're looking at like buying a new car, you see the car anywhere, everywhere, right? It's not like that car wasn't there, it's just that you told your brain, Hey, this car is important to me. And your brain's like, all right, I'll find it for you. Here you go. Right? This happens all the time. It's like a spotlight effect, right? So what happens is when we tell ourselves these sentences like, I'm stuck, there's nothing I can do, there's no way out of this. This is hopeless. Your brain wants to prove you, right? It will constantly show more evidence of the fact that you're stuck. It'll show you, you'll start highlighting all of the articles. Like as you're watching the news, it's like, oh, layoffs are pending and this many people can't find work. And you'll start seeing that more and you'll start seeing like the person that tried and failed at something and you're like, oh my God, it's hopeless.
I'm gonna stay stuck. When you start telling yourself like, I could quit, I, there's a million things I promise you for all you people that are putting this stuff in the chat, you will start seeing that. You'll start seeing like house petting ideas, like people that are doing that. You'll start seeing tutoring services. You'll start seeing people that are sell off everything and travel around the world because you're telling yourself this is important to me. And your brain's like, all right, I'll find it, I'll show you examples. This is why it's, it's not just semantics, it's not like I just want you to just stop telling yourself you're stuck so we can be positive so everyone can be happy. That's not what we're doing here. We're trying to be like, it doesn't serve me to constantly tell myself I'm stuck cause it's one, it's not true.
And two, I'll just get more of the same. So if I want to find how I can be unstuck, I have to start directing my brain to that. Right? I love that you said yes, my shoulders felt a release. Yeah, I feel the same way when I'm like, oh, there's so many things I could do. There's so many ways I can make money on, there's so many talents I have, there's so many ways to make money right now on online that I've never even explored. I dunno what's happening there. That's me. Okay? All. And again, it doesn't even matter if you wanna take any of these roots, okay? You, it might be smart for you not to. One of the things I want you to do is just get used to letting your brain brainstorm without, um, limiting it. Like for so many of us, we start thinking about something and then immediately the fears come in immediately it becomes like, but that's not possible.
I couldn't do that. And so we never even tried to like figure out like, could it be possible? Are there ways around it? Maybe that's like, there's something within that idea. Like why do I even wanna do that? We can't explore. And so part of this is just an exercise of letting yourself explore is letting yourself let your brain become creative. What would I do if, if, you know, push came to shop and I had to fend for myself and I had to, you know, make my mortgage or whatever it is, what would I do? What would I want to do? What would I try doing? And the more you can come up, there might be 10 things that you list and you wouldn't do nine of them, okay? But the more you start, the more it opens your brain, that part of your brain for brainstorming, and you come up with more ideas and more ideas, the more ideas.
And that is what leads you to start figuring out what you wanna do. Okay? So here are the steps that I want you to go through in order to figure out what it ha your leave it plan, what you wanna do, okay? Step one is simply just admitting to yourself what you want. This is where most of us struggle. This is where so many of us love to stay in confusion, but should I stay or should I go, is this job good enough or is should I leave? But like you never really check in with like, what do I want here? Why do I want to leave? If I want to leave? Can I even honor it by just saying that I don't want to be here anymore? We talked about this yesterday, just simply acknowledging that knowing that you have within you that is saying, I don't wanna be here.
I don't want to, for whatever reason I tried it, been there, done that. I wanna do something else. I don't know how that looks. I don't know what the, the steps are. I don't know what the finances look like, but it starts with me actually admitting that I want it because that's the only way that I can start moving towards that path that I can figure out things. If I'm always like, well, I should just be grateful. I don't know, should I stay, should I not? Then I can never actually get to work. We're so afraid of admitting it because we're afraid to be disappointed. We're afraid that like if I admit it and then I don't get it, I'm gonna be super sad. So I'm just gonna pretend I don't even want it. I'm just gonna push it down and be like, you know what?
It's not even for me. And then we're just super sad all the time anyways, right? It's like, well, I don't wanna be disappointed, so I'm just gonna make myself miserable the whole time. That seems like a good plan. Instead of like, I don't know how this is gonna work. I don't know if it'll even work. I don't know how I'm gonna get there. But I can't admit to myself that like, this isn't working for me anymore. I don't want this. I remember, and I say this now, like with my own story, when I was a lawyer and I was deciding to quit, it took me a whole year to really admit to myself that I wanted to quit. And it wasn't that I didn't know. I knew from the first day that I was practicing law that I didn't wanna be practicing law, but I had so much fear around, but what will people think of me and what does that make me?
And am I a failure and all these other things? So I couldn't really admit that I wanted to quit. And I remember when I would have these conversations over that year and I kept thinking, I can't quit, I can't do this. And I would talk to my husband and I would constantly say that. And he's like, why do you keep saying you can't? Of course you can. And this is when I say, when I, I'm saying like, list out the possibilities and we're gonna talk about this, about the money. For a lot of us, it isn't even a money issue. Like I knew we could make it work on my husband's salary. We had already done our finances, we had already known our numbers. We had already known how long I could have like taken off. So I was privileged enough. I had the blessing where like I didn't need to make an income and yet my identity was so racked in it.
I was so obsessed with what people would think of me. I was so worried of the fact that I would be a failure that I just kept telling myself, I can't do it. I can't quit. It's not even a possibility. And then when I did quit, I remember again coming up with random rules of like, I can only be okay if I figure out something else in the next year and I'm successful at it, then I don't have to go back, otherwise I'm gonna go back. And I would create these arbitrary guidelines that was like, oh, I could make it work for more than a year without getting an income. Like we could, we have the stability through his job that like, I could make it work, right? And so you wanna start figuring out like, where am I just telling myself I can't, it's not possible.
And where do I just wanna admit like this is what I want and I can do it. Maybe I'm scared, maybe I wanna do it in my own time. Maybe I wanna slow, like baby step it fine. But oftentimes we're just seeking permission and this is what I'm I, we talked about this yesterday and I was saying how I self-sabotage in order to, um, get my mom's approval to quit big law. Um, but I realized this too, even with my husband and quitting is like I wanted other people to tell me it's okay for you to quit. It's okay for you to want something else. It's okay for you to just decide that this isn't for you. And if you're waiting for that, let me be the one to tell you. This is literally the entire point of my entire platform and podcast is to tell you it's okay to want what you want. It's okay to decide that a chapter is over. It's okay to want to grow in a different way. And you have to be the one that gives yourself that permission because other people around you are still stuck in fear, are still stuck in you know, what ifs. And this isn't the right way and they've drank the Kool-aid too. And so you have to be the one that shows yourself that it's okay. Like that has to be step one.
And we talked about this yesterday, but admitting that this chapter is or will be closed simply because you want it to. Like, you don't need a justification to say why you wanna quit. You don't need to prove that it's terrible and it's the worst place ever to work. You don't need to prove that the hours are insane and you can't balance it anymore. You're too burned out. Those might be reasons, but it's also okay just to say I want to, oops, there's so much power as we talked about in an intentional decision, right? You don't have to know how, you don't have to know what, you just have to decide to go after what you want, right? And you have to notice this is the difference between these two statements. We've talked, I talked about this on the podcast, but to say I wanna travel more versus I wanna go to Italy for two weeks next year or in two years or in five years.
My dream is to go to Italy in the next five years. Notice the difference between those and how it can get your brain to go to work, right? If I say I just wanna travel more, my brain has no direction. What does that even mean? How long is more? Where are we going? How much money are we gonna need? Like it becomes really difficult to, for me to plan, if I say I wanna go to Italy in the next, I wanna go move to Italy for a month in the next five years, it's a lot easier to start figuring out logistics. How much would I need for a month? How could I take that time off? What kind of job would allow me a month sabbatical? Could I work remotely? How much do I have to save up? Is my family on board now I can actually get going.
We talked about this yesterday to decide is to cut off and that's powerful and it's scary, but it's what's gonna get you to get somewhere. Like people will ask, like it's, I think it's easy to see it with this example. It's like saying like, but what's the right decision? Is the right decision to go to Italy for a month? Like what does that even mean? There's no right decision. Are there better places? Sure. Maybe depending on what you prefer, we don't, there is no right. And it's the same thing with your career. There's no right choice of what you should and shouldn't do. It's really tapping into like, what do I wanna do? And so if you think about like this decision, if you just are saying, I want a more fulfilling career, where does that leave us? How do we know we're ever gonna get there?
Like when we get there, how would we know if we got there? Have we defined it? What does fulfilling mean by when? How am I gonna work on it? Like there's nowhere to go. And so so many of us have these like really lofty. I just wanna feel more fulfilled. I wanna feel like I'm living into my purpose. We say all these things that sound flowery, but then when we come home from a long day's work, we're exhausted and we have no idea where to start. So we just like watch Netflix or we scroll Instagram because it's too difficult to figure out how do I find a fulfilling career? Where is this fulfilling career hidden under a rock? But if I say like, I will be out of this career in the next three years, that's it. I can give three more years. I can save my money.
Now I have something to work with. Now it's like, all right, how much do I have to save? It's funny how it becomes a game. Like if you start seeing, um, if you go into the communities that do like financial independence, you start seeing this all the time. I mean you see this in a lot of different communities, but let's say like people that want to pay off a certain amount of debt or um, become financially free, they'll give themselves five years and then they'll become financially free in two because it starts becoming a game. You start looking for other solutions like, could I make more doing this? Could I save more? Do I really need this? I'm gonna cut out this and I'm reaching my goal because I'm constantly actively looking for solutions to this thing that I want. It's the same thing with your career.
I've seen so many people that say like, I'm gonna quit my job, um, and go full-time with my side hustle in three years and then they do it in 12 months. Because then they're actively focused on it. They're thinking about, okay, what would I need? What are my numbers? How much would I need to feel secure to be able to quit my job? What am I gonna do for healthcare? Like once I can actually make a decision, then I can get to planning step two. After you do step one and you just admit it. That's the easy part. Step two is I want you to get curious about how you don't have to know the how. There's no one how, there's no like definitive plan. You have to start instead of telling yourself, I don't know how you're gonna just start getting curious. The quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask yourself.
I just mentioned how you're, you are directing your brain all the time. You tell your brain what to do and your brain does it. Okay? So if your questions to yourself are like, why me? Why does life have to be so hard? What if I lose everything? What if I do this and it doesn't work? I want you to think about the results that you create with those questions. It doesn't leave you a lot of places to go. It doesn't leave your brain a lot of ways to come up with solutions. You're constantly in like anxiety, uh, uncertainty, worry mode and you're just trying to like, oh, I gotta make sure I just have something lined up. When you start asking yourself questions like, how could I make this work? How can I replace my income? I don't know how, right? There's not one way.
But if I start thinking, okay, I need this much money to live, how could I, what are some ways that people are doing it? What are some ways that I can maybe make some investments? What are some other types of jobs I could do? How much do I need? What would I need in order to leave? If I start asking myself that, then I can actually start getting into plans, right? I can start like laying down. I don't know exactly how and for every one of you, it's gonna be different, right? But it starts by you just getting curious about it, not needing to know a concrete answer, not needing to have like this is my five step plan for you to quit your job. I could give you that, but for every one of you, it's gonna be different and it's not gonna do you a service because all of you have different like risk tolerances, you have different nervous systems that can handle different things like you.
So you have to start like going into like what is it that I could do? How can I make this money? What level of risk am I willing to to take? Step three becomes the quit plan, okay? Once we kind of are starting to get curious and let our brain kind of do some of this work is where you start creating a plan, okay? And this is actually not as hard as people like to believe it is the quitting runway. What I call is like the amount your financial plan. Okay? Here's the thing, money is actually a simple part of the plan. Money just feels really hard because we have a lot of fear attached to it. So what's really important for all of you, even if you're not planning on quitting, is to do a quitting runway, is to understand your money because it's really important to spot in your brain.
Where am I actually just afraid and where is it really the money? So I'm going to give you again my example. I knew that we could live off of my husband's income and yet I constantly said, but I can't not have a salary. I can't not make money. Our family needs it. I would always say these things and it wasn't really true, but I didn't really wanna face our money stuff. So I would constantly think like I can't just make nothing. But I didn't know why. I never like investigated where that thought came from and why it made me feel so scared. And I've seen over and over again with people that I coach where they will come up with their quitting runway, they will come up with a number and then they will reach that number and they'll still be like, no, no, I'm still not ready.
No, I still don't feel safe. And then they'll increase the number and then they'll get to that number and they'll say like, I don't know, but I still don't feel, and we can start seeing like it's not the money, it's the fear, right? You have the money, you saved up the amount that you wanted, you're making them out that you want and you still feel like, oh, I probably shouldn't let go of this job. It's safety. Everyone tells me I should have it. Then we work more on the mindset, right? So here's what you're quitting runaway is it's actually very straightforward. You need to know how much you feel safe having saved. But if you wanna quit, do you want a year of savings? Do you want six months? I'd recommend at least six months. But some of you might wanna quit with less than that, right?
So you have to get that number. Like how much savings do I need of my expenses in order to feel okay? Right? Then you figure out, well first you have to figure out your expenses to figure out what your savings is gonna be. But this is simply knowing how much do I need to cover my living expenses for me and my family? There are tons of calculators online that will help you do this. It's very straightforward. It's like ballpark figures. How much is my rent or mortgage, car payments and insurance groceries every week? What are we paying for? Big ticket, little ticket? What's happening in the year? How do we divide it by 12? Okay, this is about what my family spent. Now likely when I do this, I can come up with ways where I can reduce my expenses. Maybe we get rid of some subs, sub subscriptions.
Maybe we don't take that family vacation this year because it's important for me to quit. Fine. But like if I know generally I need to make $5,000 a month to handle all, all of our expenses, let's say that's good to know, then I know that if I want six months of savings, I know my number, right? If I want a year, I know my number, like how much I need to have in savings and I can know like how much I already do have in savings, how much what that gap is, then I can start finding this equation. And then you start figuring out like, how much would I need to make at this next, given how much income do I need to have, right? So you might get to like, I make $10,000 a month. Right now my expenses are 5,000, right? I may wanna save until I get six months of saving.
But then I might know like I only actually really need to make five or $6,000 at my next gig in order to feel okay in the beginning. I can leave. If I can find a job that is $5,000 cuz it covers all of my expenses and maybe a little bit more or whatnot, maybe I can cut down. We can start understanding like, I don't need to make a hundred thousand, like $10,000 a month. Would it be nice? Sure. But am I willing to go and do something else because it's more in line with what I wanna do? Cause I wanna experiment and am I willing to take a pay cut? Once we know these numbers, it becomes a lot easier to figure out like my runway, okay, if I need to save six months and the difference between my income and my expenses is $5,000, then it takes me this many months in order to save that.
That means I can't quit for the next year because I'm gonna be creating my savings cushion, right? So like I said, I mean once you know the numbers then it becomes really easy to figure out where is it numbers, where is it money and where is it fear? Where is it like, okay, I have the savings, I have my expenses covered, but I still feel like I should be making money. Where is that coming from? What are the thoughts around that? Um, this should be number four. Oh, part of your quit plan. No, sorry. Number three, part of your quit plan is your vision. And that's just really doing this work of excavating what do I want for my life for this one life that I have, not what I should want, not what everybody else wants for me, not what I think is possible and safe, but like if I was to dream as big as I possibly can, what do I want?
What do I want my life to look like? Maybe I don't have that right now. Maybe I won't have that in five years, but can I start working towards a vision that I want? You have to be willing to admit what you want to yourself. We talked about this in step one, but this is really one of the biggest blocks I see. If you want more money, you have to say that if you are like making a hundred thousand and you're like, I wanna make $250,000 a year, you have to be willing to say that out loud to yourself so that you know, like if I'm gonna find a job that is making $250,000 a year, that limits the types of jobs I look for. That limits what I think I can do or not, right? If you want it more time, if you're like, I only wanna work 20 hours a week, great, let's admit it.
Tell myself that I only wanna work 20 hours a week. I only wanna work 30 hours a week. I only wanna work 10 hours a week. What is the number? Because then I can get to work figuring out what kind of jobs do that. Do you want more contribution? Like if it's like, Hey, I don't like sitting behind my desk by myself and working, I wanna work with people one-on-one. I wanna work more in low income communities. I wanna work with this subset of the population. This is the type of contribution I wanna have. I have to be able to articulate it, at least experiment at least to see. Because the more I do that, then I can start getting to know myself. Like, do I really like this? Do I not as, um, I was saying earlier when I started my photo with business, it wasn't that I even wanted to start a business.
I wasn't. I I had all these limiting beliefs of like the fact that I didn't know how to start a business. I really just wanted more flexibility. I wanted time. I didn't wanna work 40 hours a week and I wanted to have the control over my life. I didn't want anyone else to tell me when I could work. Well, that limited a lot of what I could do. So I was like, looks like I gotta work for myself, right? That became like once I admitted what I wanted, it became a lot easier to be like, I can't really get a job. I mean, I probably could. There was probably other jobs where you could work on your own hours, but for me it was like, looks like I gotta start a business, then this is what we're gonna do. And when you can't admit that, then you can start figuring out like, okay, if I wanna make this much, I'm probably gonna have to do a job that does that needs, I don't know, different types of education or work for myself or whatnot.
But this decision kind of comes first, like telling yourself, knowing that it is possible. Like you're not gonna fall into it, right? If I don't think I can make more than a hundred thousand dollars, I'm not gonna go after it. If I've told myself like, I can't make more money, this is all I can make with my education or my abilities, Hey, I'm gonna keep myself at that level. I'm not gonna look for that opportunity. If I tell myself I, oh, there's no way I could work less than 40 hours a week. Everything is 40 hours a week, I'm not gonna look for the opportunities where I can work less than 40 hours a week. I have to start admitting what I actually want in order to be able to find it.
When, like we talked about when so many of us are like one foot in, one foot out. I don't know, is this good enough? Do I want something different? I don't know what I want. We just constantly stay stuck. We never make a move because we don't even know what we're going after. And this isn't something like you have to have like a name. Like so many of us are like looking for a job title. Like I just want the perfect job title. It's not gonna come. You have to know what you want within that job. What is it like? Do you want more autonomy? Do you want more, um, teamwork? Like do you wanna be front facing? Do you wanna be alone? What are the things that you want out of your next job, out of your career, out of your life? And then the last thing I'll say is like the step four, one of the things I work on a lot with people is this idea of between short-term and long-term plans, okay, when can you leave by when you do your quitting runway, you can understand that I can't leave for another year.
I'd see so many people do this where it's like they'll tell me I have to stay here for two years, okay? And I'm like, okay, great. So that we know that for the short term, we're not even gonna entertain the idea of quitting. We're not gonna torture ourselves. We're not gonna constantly go back and forth. We're gonna learn how to love what is, we're gonna work on our mindset about being okay where we're at while we plan to leave in two years while we save our money, while we explore, while we use our downtime to do hobbies. And actually like our life. Stop torturing yourself. If you can't leave, you can't leave. Great. Let's figure out a plan B. Let's figure out what we can do, right? If you can leave, then you start figuring out, am I gonna leave in the short term? Am I gonna quit now? Why am I not doing that?
And then you start figuring out what am I gonna do in the long term? One of my favorite, um, tools that I have is this thing called, um, the five year Blueprint. And I help people just expand the timeline with which they're looking at. If I wanna write a book, thinking about writing a book is very overwhelming. I have no idea where to start. I have no idea how to get into publishing. I have no idea what I would write about. But if I start thinking over the five years, like if I was gonna write a book in five years, we talked about this yesterday or the other day where it's like, how many years do we all have to work? And we were all between like 20 and 40, right? Writing a book in five years is not that difficult because this year I'm just going to, uh, learn how to write better.
I'm gonna join some writing workshops. I can do that on my weekends. I don't have to like quit my job for that, right? Um, next year I'm going to get a writing coach and I'm gonna learn how to start. Well, you know, whatever. You can start baby stepping it once you know what it is you wanna do. So it's the, these two things that work together is like, what am I gonna do immediately right now? And for some of us it's quit and I have to replace my salary. Great. That's what we're focusing on in the short term. For some of us it's like I'm gonna stay put and I'm gonna do this inner work and I'm gonna learn how to love it and then I'm gonna leave. And then in the long term, I'm constantly working towards what do I want? Do I wanna make more money? How do I set myself up? So if I can't do it now in a year, two years, three years, can I be making $200,000? Can I be making the thing the amount that I wanna be making?
So , I know this whole thing was called love it or leave it, but I think you should decide to love it and leave it. Um, not for everybody. Some of you don't wanna leave it and that's okay, but if you do wanna leave it, I think that both are available to us. The lie that we have is that we can't be happy here or we have to leave and go somewhere else to be happy and it's just not true. You can actually, I was just coaching with someone today who came to me in 2021 because she would cry in her car before she had to go into work. She was so burned out and we were just talking about how happy she is and how much she loves it. She actually loves her job. And when we got rid of all of the burnout and like not doing things for ourselves, it's amazing how much opens up to you.
So I want you guys to like, when you make this conscious decision for both, they're both intentional decisions that like, I can stay here and love it and I can leave it whenever I want. So that's it for um, today. You can put your q and a, and I know you guys have putting a lot in the, in the chat, so if you have put a question, put it in the q and a so I can answer it. We can also, if you have specific questions, I can bring you on and coach. But I did wanna tell you today's the last day, um, not the last day to join, but the last day of our challenge that the Quitter Club is open until next week. And then I don't know when it's gonna open again, to be honest. Um, I'm probably not gonna open it for a couple months while we do the 90 day decisions.
Okay? It is the monthly membership where you, where we implement everything I've talked about where I help you. All these things are great, but I know as soon as you go and you go see your numbers, you're gonna tell me that you can't quit. And I promise you, you can. We're gonna start excavating what do I want? How much money do I wanna make? How much time do I wanna have? And we create that plan and we will work through your quit plan, right? So everything we talked about today, deciding to leave in the roadmap, there are an entire course of videos and worksheets that will help you walk through your quitting runway, your vision, clarity, exploration, your five year blueprint, all of that is in there. You get access to all of it. In addition, you get access to all the coaching calls, all the written community, the private podcast feed.
But like I've been telling you, for the next three months, we're gonna do 90 day decisions together. So next month I'm gonna, we're gonna go in depth on how to make decisions and how to make them bite-size into these short-term plans that I'm talking about. How do we make them for 90 days so that we stop torturing ourselves? Like if I decide I'm not gonna leave for the next 90 days, I know what my homework is for the next days, right? Then I reevaluate and I keep going instead of just like every once in a while making a New Year's resolution that I wanna have a better career and not getting anywhere with it. You start learning how the skill of decision making and how to make it bite-sized so you don't get overwhelmed. Then in July we create your love at plan. You start learning the plan intentionally for how you're gonna love it.
You're gonna define the areas you can and the areas you can't. You're gonna learn how to start creating more peace and happiness exactly where you are and start eliminating some of that stress and burnout. You're gonna learn these short-term long-term goals and you're gonna learn how to evaluate and pivot, which is the most important skill. So you can stop beating yourself up and you can actually like start taking in the data and moving on. And then in August you are gonna create your leave it plan. Even if you don't wanna leave, you're gonna figure out your financial runway. We're gonna do it together so you know what your number is. So you can know I can leave if I want to. If I'm not, why am I not? You're gonna start working on your vision, creating what do you want, how do you dream bigger?
Um, and like I've said, because I know I can get you to a decision in these 90 days and I can get you to learn how to do these 90 day decisions so that you can keep getting yourself to a decision, an intentional one. If you come for the 90 days and you do the work, you do the worksheets. You come to two coaching calls a month, you ask for coaching at least twice a month. I will guarantee you that you have a decision in your 90 days or I will pay, give you your money back, no questions asked. I know that this will work for all of you. I don't care what the situation is. And like I said before, it's $197 a month. Probably what people are spending now at Target. one target run to try to make yourself feel better you can come in and get all of this stuff for the month and work on um, all the things that we talked about. And I'm gonna give you one more bonus today.
I know that oftentimes, um, coming into a membership can feel a little bit daunting or you can think like, maybe I'm not gonna get, I'm not gonna do it. Really, I'm not gonna be accountable. And so if you join today through this challenge, you'll be put into a private accountability group and all the people that have already signed up, you'll also be in it. So no worries. But, um, for the people that were in this challenge, I am gonna create a group where you will have accountability calls to meet together to be able to be doing this work together. You'll have a private community channel within our circle channel where you guys can ask your questions if you feel sort of embarrassed in front of everybody or you don't feel as like you don't wanna talk in front of a big group. You have a smaller accountability group that we will do also two private coaching calls throughout these 90 days where I will come on and we were will coach through whatever your 90 day plans are. Um, so I can make sure that you are on track and we will make sure that you were showing up and you're doing the things so that you have your decisions at these 90 days. And here are what a couple of our students have to say about the quarter club. Cuz sometimes it's just better to hear from them. Okay?
It feels like an amazing safety net for me. It's as though I can go out into the world and try all the things and when I have really extended myself and I need some support, reassurance, gut checks, new ideas, community, or just a safe space to share the Quitter Club, is it for me? I'm inspired by everyone's journeys. I identify with their struggles and I'm invested in their wins. It's is unquestionably a community worth having in my life. The coaching calls are like therapy. They help you uncover things about yourself that you're trying to keep tamp down. Your eyes will be open to all the ways you're trying to be perfect or shame yourself. And goalie will give you the tools and new perspectives to just let that go. That's my favorite part actually. This is from our resident cheerleader Arlet. Just do it now.
You won't regret it. It's the very thing you didn't know you desperately needed. If you're feeling lost alone or stuck, this is the group you can join to be fully open and honest about that because we all ha because we've all already admitted that, that and are committed to slowly but surely doing the work to uncover what we truly want in our lives. Plot a course to make it happen and accept nothing less than complete success in that and better endeavor. Join us. We're waiting for you. I love that. Okay, so I would love nothing more to have you in this group so that I can get you guys out of overwhelm and I can get you on the path to creating that life no matter how long it takes. If it's gonna take a year, let's get started Now, if it's gonna take two years, again, let's learn how to love it so we can get there.
Those two years are gonna pass. So join us. You can go to quitter club, uh, sorry, lessons from a quitter. Why do I do that every time? Lessons from a quitter.com/quitter club and join us over the next week. Um, doors will close next Thursday and we will get started, um, the following week in June. So actually if you join today, you have a week to kind of get acquainted. You can learn about the model the first step and then you'll be ready to go for all the decision stuff that we wanna do together. All right, let's do some Q and As. Sorry, lemme take a sip of my water.
Okay. How do I know whether I really want to leave my job or if my brain is just tricking me into thinking this since I'm not good at my current job? Okay, this is a very common question and it's actually something we work on a lot in the club because we have this false belief that we just can't trust ourselves and that our brain is trying to trick us and that we have to be onto ourselves and we have this like level of policing ourselves where it's like we sort of gaslight ourselves into what we want and what we don't want. What I would say is first we have to clean up the thoughts that you're not good at your current job. Okay? So that's just a thought. That's not a fact. And for most of us, we have that thought even though there's ample evidence to show that we are good at our job because we haven't been fired and they're letting us keep our job and they're paying us.
And this isn't a charity. So we first wanna clean that up because we wanna know, like if I did feel confident in the fact that like I do a pretty good job, then yeah, do I wanna stay or do I wanna lead, right? And so this requires more first of learning how to like turn down that inner critic and learn how to, um, manage your own thoughts to see like where is this thought because I'm just afraid and where does it know what I really want? Right? And that really comes from like doing a little deeper excavation, like asking the right questions to know like why do I wanna leave? Right? What is the reason that I wanna try something else? Why am I scared that I'm not good enough at this current job? What would be good enough? Like how do I define good enough?
Um, and once you do that, it starts becoming a lot clearer. And I would just say that you can trust yourself all the time to know what the right answer is. Um, how do you know it's something you want versus grass is greener syndrome. Okay, again, similar question. Here's the thing again with I think the reason it's so important and why I really, um, hammer home learning how to love what is first is because of this grasses greener syndrome for so many of us, we have been conditioned to believe that there is some place where we're just gonna be happy all the time. And so we constantly are looking at the, you know, other grass to see if it's greener because it's like, well it's probably better there because we think something has gone wrong if I'm not happy all the time. And one of the things that we do first is figuring out how could I be happy here so that I can properly assess like if I leave, it's also gonna be 50 50 there, but there might be other reasons why I wanna go there.
Not because it's just that it's greener. Um, and you have to do that after you sort of learn how to love what you have right now, how to slow down and figure out what you can accept and what you can't. Um, and be willing to like know that at least you're going in with eyes wide open that when you get to the other grass, it's gonna be green 50% of the time, 50% of the time it's gonna look yellow when you go there too. Do you have any advice for loving a stop gap job while earning education? Credit credentials for dream job? Yes. Look at what that stop gap job is giving you, right? So again, it's fixing your thoughts about the job. So how wonderful that you can have a job that pays your bills while you earn the credentials for your dream job.
So you look at it as like an investor in your future, right? If you could be, um, grateful for an investor that would come in and say like, Hey, here, you can go out and get these credentials. There's so many thoughts that you can have about how like, this is such a, not just like a blessing, but also like how you could be really proud of yourself for doing this. Like, look at me taking care of myself, being able to have a job and keep a job while I'm getting credentials for my my dream job. Look at me like setting my future self up. Like you're hooking your future self up, right? And so it's like having that pride will help you love where you're at. I quit. I decided to go all in on my side hustle, which ha I had kind of abandoned in the past and I feel like I wanna quit again.
I ha I wanna quit it again. That it's not it, but I feel shame because maybe I'm giving up too soon and plus all of my friends and family follow me on my side gig ig, any advice is welcome. This is so common. Okay, so there's a couple things that are gonna happen here. One, like I just mentioned is we ha one, you have to like spend a little bit of time getting really comfortable with the loving what is right? So again, so many of us thought that like once I quit this job, I'm gonna be so happy once I go all in on my side hustle, I'm gonna be all happy. And then we get there and some of it's great and some of it's terrible, right? And that's sometimes why we think we should quit because like it sounds really good in theory, like it sounds, um, we kind of romanticize it and so it's like, oh, once I quit and I go after this, it's gonna be so amazing.
And then once we actually quit, then there comes the hard part, then comes the fear, then comes like doing it over and over again. Then comes the mundaneness and we hate that. And so it's like then we start thinking, well this isn't it either. So part of it is slowing down and realizing of course it's gonna be 50 50. So why do I wanna quit? Like what if I was just okay and I, what if I gave myself 90 days, six, uh, 180 days to be like, I'm just gonna work on loving what is knowing it's 50 50. I'm gonna work on like the parts that I do love to see. Can I make this work if I push past the fear, if I push past the, like it should have been better. Something is wrong, something is wrong with me, you might end up liking this side hustle.
But if you give yourself that time and you do this work and you learn how to manage your mind and then you see like, no, I just really don't like this side hustle, then we work on the shame, right? Then we work on the fact that like there's no like limit to the amount of times that you're allowed to change your mind. The only limit is placed upon us because we think there's something right with like, there's something better about being continuous, but that's just made up, right? Like there's nothing morally better about sticking with one thing than trying five things. It's just a different approach, right? So like then we work on the thoughts that we have about like maybe I'm a multi-passionate person or like I'm really proud of myself for trying the side gig and now after I did it, I see that I don't wanna do it.
Good to know. Now I can move on to the next thing, right? So it's like a two pronged approach. I would really suggest doing the work first before you quit it to see like what you thought it should have looked like and why you think you should leave it now. Um, but I also think it's totally fine to change your mind. Like if you look at any um, uh, successful entrepreneur, it's funny how we like love these stories, but if you like look at Shark Tank or you look at all these people that are like, you know, um, billionaires, hundreds of millions, they are constantly talking about how many failed attempts they had before, right? Like none of them, most of them are not like I started this one company and it became a billion dollar company or it became like a huge success. Most of them started 3, 4, 5 failed companies or started things and quit them and, and they learned from each one, right? So this idea that like you just have to start one and it has to be it like you could, if you take the time to evaluate what you've learned from this side hustle, there could be so much gold that allows you to take that and go on to the next thing.
How can I learn to love it when my coworkers are a big reason why I want to leave it? I find myself struggling with interpersonal relationships at work. This is an important part of my job and it's causing me burnout and I just wanna run away. How can I deal without walking out of my job? Again, this is exactly what we work on in the club. Like you have to come learn. It's a simple tool, but it's not like you have to learn how to properly implement it. Learning how to use the model will change your life because part of what happens is if you are at the mercy of everybody else, you will be anywhere you go. Okay? People are gonna be people and they can be wonderful, they can be terrible. And we just have to learn how we're gonna be able to interact with people in a way that works for us.
So that might mean boundaries. And there's this tool that I teach in the club called manuals, which is my favorite tool for interpersonal relationships. And it's really like, where is these rules, these hidden instruction manuals that I have for people. It's like everyone should act the way I want them to and like what if everyone got to act however they wanted and I got to still be happy? How is that possible? And I teach you a way to do that. I teach you how you can feel happy and have thoughts that make you feel calm or whatever around people that usually trigger you because they're not triggering you. Your thoughts about them are triggering you, right? They're doing whatever they're doing and then your thinking, they shouldn't be like this. They should act a different way. They're so annoying. They always interrupt me. They're so mean, it's so cliquey.
I feel left out. All of those thoughts. I mean I'm just guessing out some reasons. There could be other reasons, but you get what I'm saying. They can be doing whatever and your thoughts could be well good for them. I don't have to like them, they don't have to be my friends. I'm here to do a job. I don't have to even interact with them as much as like if I don't want to. I mean to a certain extent you have to for work, but you learn how to manage your thoughts around it. What are some thoughts to look out for when making a decision between being decisive and just making spontaneous decisions on a whim? Sometimes I doubt my decisions because my emotions swing really strong. I can be sure about something but change my mind tomorrow. How do I rewire my brain to not have such strong reactions?
First of all, why is it a problem that you have such strong reactions? Maybe that's not a problem at all, right? We wanna start questioning like we just tell ourselves I should be different. I guarantee you that the vast majority of people that are on the call right now probably wish that they had stronger decisions. Probably wish that like I wish I could just make a decision faster. Okay, so we're all gonna be different, so it's fine. But this is what I mean by evaluating and pivoting is that everything is data. It's not good or bad, it's just data that we wanna collect. And if we wanna change ourselves, which we all can, we can all become different, um, types of people. Um, is looking at the data and then deciding do I wanna keep this? Why am I doing this? Un learning about ourselves, okay, like learning why I do what I do and then making a decision from there.
So what I would say for you is that like with each time you make a strong decision or a strong, a quick reaction is afterwards really figuring out why did I make that decision so quickly? What was I thinking and feeling? What did I, you know, was it? And when you start realizing when you can kind of understand the thought process behind the decision, your reasons why you're making the decision, it starts becoming clear. Like if I'm making a decision because I feel hurt and I feel uh, you know, defensive and I feel attacked, so I'm just gonna break up with this person, that might not be the re reason why I wanna do it. And I wanna learn like how can I calm myself down? How can I give myself a beat? How can I take a pause to think about like, you know, how I feel, let's say, but it might be that like no, I just like making quick decisions and then dealing with it and pivoting and I just rather, like I said yesterday, I think or the day before, I would rather have 80 balls in the air and have 20 of them drop and not go my way and have 60 and keep it moving.
Great. That's just the way I am. That there's nothing wrong with that. So when I say this, like there's no like one size fits all for these types of questions because you wanna look at the thoughts behind the thoughts you wanna look at. Like what was the thought that was driving me to make these rash decisions? Was I doing it because I felt cornered and I felt um, you know, defensive and I felt like I have to kind of fight back and so I'm making like really impulsive decisions or was it like this is just my mo and I like this about me? You could very much uh, love being like that. It's actually super fun. Like I now make a lot of really quick decisions on a whim and I like that cause I know, okay, well like even if it doesn't turn out the way I want, I'll fix it.
I'll figure it out. I'll do the next one. I don't really care. Okay, goalie, maybe a fun diverging topic for one who has quit and is now focusing on another business path. Curious of your thoughts on the current talk track. My mind is telling me I wanted me to partner and date, but I don't think I can until I'm well on my path for a new career. Okay? So that is really common and like I'm so glad you brought it up because I love that you call it a talk track in your mind. , this is the thing I will leave you all on, is that everything your brain offers up is just a random thought and we all think like it's the God honest truth and it's not. It's just a thought and we wanna start learning how to spot them and start questioning them.
Okay, so you're asking this question yesterday, somebody had said, or yesterday was the, or the first day somebody had asked me, um, how do I go after my dreams when I have kids like and not sacrifice my kids? That's just a thought that we wanna question. Is that even true? Okay, so for this question, I wanna meet a partner, but I don't think I can can until I'm well on my path for a new career. You just wanna question, is that even true? Why would that be true? Right? What if finding a partner while you pave that path is the best thing you could do for your relationship? What if it's the best thing you could do for your career path, right? Why are we just assuming that like, because my brain is saying like, oh no, we probably shouldn't date. We probably shouldn't get a partner cuz we're starting this career path that's not some kind of truth.
So like why am I just accepting that and like letting my brain run with me. I can decide like I want to date, I want to have companionship and I'm in a time in my life where I'm building a career path. How can I make that both work, right? When you start asking that question, how could it be the best thing? How could it, like we we're so used to asking the question like how could, how is it gonna fail? What if it's the worst thing? What if it ruins our relationship? What if it's what if, what if, what if, right? And we think those are somehow like truths or those are like, you know, real questions we have to think about. But it's simply like where you have directed your brain for so long and you just have to start learning how to ask different questions.
Like what if this is just the best thing? Why would I deny myself that, right? If I don't know based on a fear. So my advice would be to do both because it is wonderful to have a partner when you're building your path. Um, alright, my friends, we're at the hour. This was so hot. Fun. Oh, I'm so glad it was helpful. Um, you guys are the best. Thank you for hanging out with me and rocking with me for three days. I don't take that lightly. I know that you guys have a lot of things to do and taking an hour each day is a lot. I hope that this was helpful. Um, you will have access to the replay and like I said, join me in the club, do this work. I'm telling y'all it is the most important work that you can do.
Learning how to manage your own mind regardless of career, for your relationships, for your life, for the trials and tribulations you're gonna go through. It is the biggest gift you can give yourself. So, uh, get started. Stop putting it up, um, and come check it out. It's at lessons from quitter.com/quitter Club. And for the people that have joined or are in the club that are here, uh, I can't wait to jump into 90 day decisions. It's gonna be amazing. Uh, it's a tool I've been using a lot for myself and I love it and I can't wait to share it with you. So I will see you all on the calls in the club. Bye my friends. Hey, if you are looking for more in-depth help with your career, whether that's dealing with all of the stress, worry, and anxiety that's leading to burnout in your current career or figuring out what your dream career is and actually going after it, I want you to join me in the Quitter Club. It is where we quit what is no longer working like perfectionism, people pleasing imposter syndrome, and we start working on what does and we start taking action towards the career and the life that you actually want. We will take the concepts that we talk about on the podcast and apply them to your life and you will get the coaching tools and support that you need to actually make some real change. So go to lessons from a quitter.com/quitter club and get on the wait list. Doors are closed right now, but they will be open soon.