BONUS: Day 1. Love it or Leave it Challenge- How to make a decision
| with

Follow Along:

Today we’re doing something a little different on the podcast.

I’m replaying Day 1 of my Love it or Leave it Challenge. I normally only share the trainings with people who have signed up for it but the material in this challenge was too important not to share.

Over the next 3 days, I’m going to share all 3 days of the challenge. In it you’re going to learn:

  • The lies that keep you stuck
  • How to decide to love your current career or leave it. 
  • How to start making better decisions
  • And so much more.

If after listening, you want more help in learning how to make decisions, create a plan, and actually go after it, join me in my monthly membership, the Quitter Club. We’re starting a new program called 90-day decisions where I’ll teach you how to make any decision bite-sized, how to evaluate and pivot, and how to avoid all the overwhelm that keeps you paralyzed. It’ll change how make any decision. 

Join us at

Show Transcript
Hey, welcome to Lessons from a Quitter where we believe that it is never too late to start over. No matter how much time or energy you've spent getting to where you are. If ultimately you are unfulfilled, then it is time to get out. Join me each week for both inspiration and actionable tips so that we can get you on the road to your dreams. Hello my friends. Welcome to another episode. I'm so excited you are here. I'm gonna do something a little different. I have never done this and I decided because the, I think the information is really helpful for a lot of people that feel stuck. I am just did a three day challenge last week called the Love It or Leave It Challenge. A lot of you join me for that. Thank you for joining me. And normally I never share the stuff that I do on masterclass or challenges like you have to kind of sign up and come to those classes.
But I figured we're gonna try something new and I'm gonna share the three days on the podcast so that all of you can listen. Even if you are not like struggling right now with loving it or leaving it, the concepts will help you just in decision making in general in your everyday life. And so over the next three days, I'm gonna put out three podcast episodes and um, it's going to be each of the days of the Love It or Leave It Challenge. I'm gonna apologize beforehand if some of it either the audio is not as amazing cause I wasn't recording this for a podcast and I was recording it on Zoom. And also there might be a couple of points where I'm referring to slides that might not make sense because you can't see the slide. I don't think there's a lot of that, but there is a possibility.
But I still think that the concepts especially well all of 'em actually today is how to make a decision, like deciding to decide and why it's so important to learn how to decide when there is no right answer. And so I walk through how you have to start thinking about decision making and tomorrow it will be deciding how to love it. And Thursday we'll be deciding to leave it. Here's the thing, I'm also, the doors are open to the membership until Thursday night and then I'm gonna close them for the next couple of months. And we are gonna do a mini program within the club that's called 90 Day Decisions. And what I'm gonna teach you how to do is how to break down your decisions, these big overwhelming decisions that keep us ruminating forever because we can't figure out how to do it. I'm gonna teach you a tool for how to break 'em down into 90 day decisions and how to evaluate, how to keep yourself kind of accountable.
And we're gonna go through it in the 90 days in the club. So in June you're gonna learn all about the 90 day tool. You're gonna learn about decision making. You're gonna learn about how to make regret free decisions, how much the unmade decisions are causing stress in your life. We're gonna go through all that. And then in July we're gonna learn how to decide how to love it, which is what I'm talking about tomorrow. But we're gonna go into in depth so that you can create your own love it plan so you can intentionally start learning how to implement the things that we talk about. And then in August you're gonna create your Leave it plan. So even if you don't plan on leaving it, it's really important information to know your numbers and know what your quitting runway is and know that you have the option to leave so you can stop telling yourself that you're stuck.
And so we're gonna do all of that. And I am so confident that I can have you make a decision in the next three months. You will decide whether you're gonna stay, you're gonna decide what your next decision is. You're gonna know your short-term goals, you're gonna know your long-term goals. You're gonna know what you're gonna do. So you can actually start implementing and you're gonna start implementing 90 day decisions that I'm gonna guarantee it. I don't normally do this, but if you come for the three months into the club and you actually show up. So this isn't like you sign up and then you don't like it and you tell me, Hey, I didn't like it or I didn't come to any calls, I want my money back. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about people that are dedicated and want to make a decision that you're done spinning and you're ready to dedicate the next three months.
And that doesn't mean like a ton of time, it just means that you're gonna show up, you're gonna do the work, you're gonna get coached, you're gonna come to the coaching calls, you're gonna start like finishing the worksheets and getting your numbers and figuring it all out, I promise you. Then in three months you'll have your decision and you'll know what you're gonna do and you'll have that plan. And then you can stop the spinning and you can stop staying stuck and you can actually work on loving it or leaving it. So if you're interested in doing this, and if you do it for three months and you don't have your decision, I'll give you your money back, no questions asked. I don't want to keep you there if it's not working for you. But um, I know it will once you actually implement the tools that I'm gonna give you.
So if you're ready to do all of that for $197 a month, it's honestly the most value you're gonna find for that price point, um, anywhere. And so you can actually get on the road to the career that you want, you can start building it if it's gonna take you some time. You can learn how to do short-term versus long, long-term goals. If you're ready to do that work, if you're ready to stop putting it off, you need to be in the club, especially for these 90 days. You can go to lessons from a club and join there. Oh, one quick note at the end of this, when I am talking about the Quitter Club, I give a bonus. That bonus isn't available anymore. It was available during the, um, live challenge for the people that were on that joined that first day. So just as a note, um, that won't be available if you sign up today, but you should still sign up because learning how to make a decision about what you're gonna do for the rest of your career in 90 days is mind-blowing and it'll save you so much in stress and overwhelm.
So come, learn, implement, do let's do it together, okay? You can go to lessons from a club and I hope you enjoy this day one of the love it or leave it challenge. And I, and I want you to find me and let me know what decision you make after this, uh, what unmade decision you went out and made. So you can DM me on Instagram and let me know or just send me an email and I will be back tomorrow with day two. How fun is that? All right my friends. Hey, hope you enjoy this and I will talk to you soon. Hi guys. We're gonna get started in a minute. I'm just waiting for Zoom to let everybody on. Um, lemme fix my face. Okay, can you guys hear me? Just gimme a quick thumbs up in the chat if you can so I can make sure that everything is good.
Los Angeles, Baltimore got India. Amazing. Yes. Okay, good. You guys can hear me welcome. I'm so excited that you guys have joined me. I'm so excited for these three days. We are gonna have a lot of fun. Um, you're gonna learn a lot. I tend to try to give, I try to like pull it back cuz I love to give a lot of information and I wanna teach you as much as possible because I want to get you guys unstuck and I want you to start making decisions and I know how hard that can be. And I wore my fancy little gold shirt for you because it is serious. We are um, gonna have a lot of fun. We're gonna learn a lot and I want this to be interactive. So as you saw, I um, started asking in the chat, I'm gonna ask throughout some questions.
I would love for you to be involved so that we can start like making decisions together. We can kind of go through it. I will go through, I may not look at the chat the whole time cuz I get distracted very easily. Um, I'm gonna get through kinda the material that I wanna teach you each day and then there will be an time for questions I will stay on and answer whatever questions you might have. Hopefully there'll be time for some coaching. You can raise your hand and come on and um, we can talk about whatever it is that you're struggling with, whatever decisions you need to make. Um, and , thank you. I'm glad you like the shirt Michelle. I appreciate that. Um, and we're gonna get rock and rolling. All right. Um, the other thing there is a q and a button and a chat button.
If you have a question you want me to answer, plop it in the q and a button as we go throughout. I will get to the questions at the end. I won't answer 'em as I'm teaching because again, like I'll get way too distracted to try to um, look at that while I'm teaching, but they will be there for me to get to at the end. So make sure I I in the chat it's gonna get lost and I won't be able to go back and figure out where, um, the question is. So make sure you look at the bottom of your screen. There's a q and a button, you can plop it in there and, um, I think that's it. We're ready to rock and roll. Let's do this. Mm-hmm. . Okay.
Oops. All right. Can you guys see that screen? Can you see this slide now? Yes. Okay, perfect. Let's do this. Okay, you are in the right right place if you're struggling with what to do in your career. So many of us are in this spot where we don't know if we should stay. Like I could like it, there are some things that are good about it, maybe it's rash. If I leave I could probably figure out a way to find a better job and just stay in this field. Should I leave? I don't know what would I even do? But I really hate it here. I feel like this chapter's over, I wanna do something else. So many of us spend so much time going back and forth between these options, constantly thinking about the same things, running through the same pros and cons and ending up in the same place so you stay stuck and spinning and we get overwhelmed.
And one of the biggest things I want you to even know is that this feeling of overwhelm, um, it is the fastest way to get to procrastination. It's the fastest way to do nothing, right? It's the pa fastest way to give up and think like, I can't even think about this. This is too much, so I'm not gonna do anything. So one of the main goals that I want us to work through is getting past this overwhelm so that we can actually make a decision of what we wanna do. Here's the thing though. Even if you're not struggling with your career as much, maybe you know you have to stay, maybe you know you're gonna leave, you've already quit. Um, maybe you're here. I know a lot of you have reached out to me because you are struggling in other areas. Um, personal decisions about your marriage, your kids or whatnot.
Um, and you're having a tough time figuring out what the right thing to do is. And you're gonna learn about how to make decisions and how to trust yourself throughout these three days. So it's still the right place for you, even if it's not a hundred percent, um, focused on career. But that is obviously what I'm going to focus on. So you're gonna have to just apply those same principles and you can, you can apply all of this to all of your life throughout this challenge. I'm gonna teach you why you're not making decisions and how to actually start, right? We're gonna talk about the three lies that are keeping you stuck so that you can start spotting them. So you can start like seeing the pattern like, oh, here I go again. This is why my brain's doing this. Of course I'm gonna think this.
Okay, I still need to make a decision. And so once you learn this process and this skill, it'll help you get out of this kind of stuck. I don't know what the right decision is. I'm just gonna keep spinning space, which is what the goal is. Let me just take a minute to introduce myself though. I know some of you are new to me, some of you have been rocking with me for a while and I love that and appreciate that so much. Some of you listen to the podcast, which is amazing, but if you are new, I just wanted to take a second to introduce myself. My name is Golly Kran and like a lot of you, I spent a lot of years stuck. I became quote unquote successful. I became a lawyer and a successful one at that. I went to a top 10 law school.
I went to a top 10 law firm. I was making a ridiculous amount of money for a 26 year old and I found myself absolutely miserable and I knew I was unhappy for a lot of years. I just didn't know what to do about it. And I finally quit in 2014. And I wish I could say that I made such a reasonable wise decision because I knew what I, what I wanted to do, but I was really just burned out and exhausted. And I had had my son and I wish I could say that I chose to leave because I thought I would love to be a stay-at-home mom or this is what I'm choosing for myself. It wasn't like that at all. Um, I really just used it as an excuse. I was like, okay, this is my way out. I've wanted to get out and I thought I needed permission and I thought I couldn't leave.
And I had all of these same thoughts of like, I can't make this decision on my own. And I took that as like, all right, I can't balance both of these at the same time. So I'm gonna use this as a reason to stop working as a lawyer. And um, I spent the next couple of years feeling very lost and very sh ashamed and I felt like a failure. I had no idea what I wanted to do. I had no other skills. I thought I had no other um, passions. I'd only ever wanted to be a lawyer. And it was a really dark place for me for a couple of years. And I slowly kind of clawed my way outta that. I learned a lot about my mind, I learned a lot about mindset. I learned a lot about how I wanna approach my life.
I started another business, a photo booth business because I wanted to be an entrepreneur. I wanted to, um, dictate my own schedule to be honest. That was really my main focus was to be able to not have someone tell me when and where I need to be at all times. Um, and in that process I became really passionate about this issue, about learning that you can close chapters knowing that you can move on to something knowing you have a choice, that you can make a decision to make a different choice at any moment. That it's not too late, it you're not too old, it's not over whatever we love to tell ourselves. And so I started a podcast called Lessons from a Quitter in 2018 just to have this conversation just so people knew like you are allowed to leave. And from that, um, the most beautiful things have come out.
I have become a life coach and then I became a master certified life coach. I became obsessed with learning everything about how we manage our own minds, like the prison that we all live in within our minds. And when I started learning more and more about it, I kept thinking like, why were we not taught about this? This would have saved me so much pain, so much shame in that time when I was figuring out what I wanted to do. And so my goal really is to just help as many people as possible know that you're not alone. There's nothing wrong with you. Lots of people feel this way and there's a way out and there's a way to make decisions even when we feel stuck and we don't know what to do. So that's what we're gonna work on today over the next three days.
I wanna get rid of this thought of I can't, I can't make a decision because I don't have enough info because I don't know what I would do. How could I make a decision? There's nothing else I can do right now. Right? This is what we're gonna work on today is this thought that you can't make a decision right now with what you have. You can, you absolutely can't. Day two, I can't love it here because everyone here is an. Um, that is just a placeholder for fill in whatever you want. I can't love it here cuz the hours are too crazy. I can't love it here because I don't make enough money. I can't love it here for whatever it is. I promise you, regardless of the circumstances, you can love it if you choose to, if you decide you want to stay and love it, right?
Um, another one we're gonna cover tomorrow is like one that we're not conscious of. Most of you don't realize that you do this, but a lot of self sabotage comes in. I can't love it here because then I won't leave. And so a lot of us make ourselves miserable because we think that we need permission to leave. We think if I'm, if I'm miserable enough, then it's okay for me to leave and I wanna show you that you can love it and still choose to leave it. You can love it and decide while I stay here, I'm gonna make my life as good as possible and still decide that this chapter is over and I'm ready for something else. Um, and then in day three we're gonna work on, I can't leave it, which a lot of us like to say because of fear. And it might be like, I can't leave it because I don't know what else I would do.
I can't replace my income, I'm the sole bread winner. All of that stuff. We're gonna get down to the nitty gritty of like, how can you actually leave it? Let's just figure out what that looks like. So that's what we're gonna work on over the next few days. I'm so excited to hang out with you guys and dive into all the nerdy things that will help you, um, learn how to love exactly where you are or leave regardless of your situation. And I want you to know that you can make that decision. And then these three days, if you choose to or it might take you a little bit longer, that's okay too. You'll have all the tools that you need in order to do that.
Okay? I talked about this a little bit in kind of my emails and the social media posts. So you might have seen this when I was, you know, um, talking about this challenge. But I want us to really understand this because I don't think most of us do is that in any situation in your marriage with your health, in your job, whatever you're doing, there's only three situations. You can stay and love it. You can be where you're at and you can choose to love it. This is an intentional choice. This doesn't just happen to us. A lot of us think it does. Like if I just find the perfect situation, if I marry the perfect person, then I'll be happy all the time. If I have the perfect children who always do what I say, then I could feel happy all the time. If I have the career that I love that just lights me up from day to night, then I'll be happy, right?
And we go around running around thinking we need to find this unicorn, this magical place and then we can be happy. The truth is, anywhere you are, you can choose to be happy. And I, I'll teach you more about how you can do that, but it really comes from like how we think about the things that we're doing, how we, we'll talk about that more tomorrow. I just want you to know that it is an intentional choice. Everywhere you are leaving is also an intentional decision. You don't have to stay in love it if you don't want to, you can just choose, I'm done with this and I wanna try something else. That's also a plausible choice. And usually very like a really good one in a lot of situations. Like we have to get used to the fact that certain chapters end and we're ready to move on, that's great too.
What happens unfortunately is that most of us fall into number three where we stay, but we hate it. And this is really a subconscious, this is more of an unintentional, no one is like choosing like, you know what, I'm miserable but I'm just gonna, I just wanna stay here and be miserable. Like none of us want to do that. And yet, because we don't know how to manage our minds because we don't know how to create the lives that we want, we stay places because we're too scared to leave. We have so much fear of everything, what everyone's gonna say, what we're gonna do. And so we just stay. But we also hate the situation that we're in. And so we just make ourselves more and more miserable and like, this is what we're gonna knock out. Number three is no longer an option. We're not allow allowing that for this one life that have, right? There's no dress rehearsal, like we, this is it. So if we're not liking it, we're gonna change something. So today we're gonna focus exclusively on um, this lie of like, I can't make a decision right now. Right? The lie that you think that like, I don't have enough information or I wouldn't know what I was gonna do. So there, there's nothing for me to decide right now.
I don't know what to do, which is a big one. I don't know what to do so I'm just gonna stay stuck. I'm just gonna keep doing the same thing. We're no longer accepting. I don't know from our brain. Your brain is doing it on purpose, okay? You're gonna ask yourself stuff and then your brain's gonna be like, like what do we wanna do? And your brain's gonna say like, I don't know. I dunno. I dunno what the right decision is here. So I'm not gonna make a decision because if you don't make a decision and you stay stuck, you're safe. I want you guys to understand one really main thing that we need to all kind of take a step back. Your brain only has three objectives. Your brain does not care if you are happy. That is not the purpose of your brain.
Our brains have been evolved over hundreds of thousands of years. But like the latest iteration is 40,000 years old. Okay? Our society, how many, what is it? Like a thousand, a couple hundred. Like think about how much has changed, right? Your brain has not caught up to what we're doing now. So your brain is still very much in primitive um, brain form, right? Like that's what drives a lot of our actions. Your brain's only goals are to conserve energy. It will always look to conserve energy cuz that's what keeps you alive. Go towards fear, right? Pursue um, fear. Go away from fear, right? Pursue pleasure and avoid pain. That's what all there to do is like what can feel comfortable, what feels pleasurable that will keep me alive, right? Going and finding the berries will keep me alive. Staying away from this scary tiger will also keep me alive.
So that's all we're doing. We're constantly still running around trying to avoid pain and seek pleasure. This is why so many of us buffer so much with social media or overeating or alcohol. It's like our brain is still just focused on finding what is the thing that is pleasurable to me right now cuz that will keep me alive. Our brain doesn't understand this society has changed. I'm gonna give you a really quick example. It's a little bit of a tangent, but just so you can understand this, I want you to think about like if you were gonna give a uh, speech in front of people right now, right? I think like public speaking is like the number one fear that people have. I want you to think about what your body goes through when you're standing in front of a, a group of people about to give a speech.
Okay? Your brain thinks it is going to die even though like your pre your prefrontal cortex, the part that is developed, the part that understands that you're not in any danger, nobody's gonna come stab you from that group of people, right? The worst thing that's gonna happen is maybe you get embarrassed a little bit, but like you're totally fine. And yet in our primitive brain, the way that our brain reacts it is as though you are gonna die, you start sweating, your heart rate goes up, you start like pumping out adrenaline because your body is getting you ready to for flight, right? For fight or flight. Like you're, you're about to die here so I'm gonna like juice you up and I'm gonna make you sweat. I'm gonna do all of these things physically so that you can get out of this situation. I just say this as like a one ma a quick example of showing that like your brain isn't, it's not like looking at things objectively and realizing like ah, the threat here is not really that big of a deal.
So maybe I shouldn't do this. Every way that you operate is really in like a primitive way. And so you need to understand that in order to see like, okay, my brain is just freaking out because it thinks we're in danger but we're not. And so on a lesser scale it does the same thing with, I don't know, the more we think, I don't know, the more we don't have to do anything, the more we stay safe, right? Your comfort zone, your brain already knows what happens there better. The devil I know than the devil I don't. As long as I'm here, I'm safe. Cuz I don't know what else is out there. I don't know what's outside of the cave. I might die if I go out there. Now we know intellectually if you get another job or if you go after another career, you're not gonna die.
But your brain doesn't know that. Your brain still thinks like, no, if I leave and everybody thinks I'm crazy for leaving and they think they're gonna judge me and I might actually die. Like we don't consciously think that, but you think that. So this is why we need to get rid of, I don't know. You don't accept, I don't know from your brain anymore. Your brain's gonna give you, I don't know. And you're gonna say, well let's guess, right? And we're gonna go through these three lies that keep you in. I don't know lie number one is that there is a right decision. This is really hard for us to understand, but we have to understand if we're gonna ever learn how to make decisions. If that, if there was a right decision, you would have known it by now. Okay? So there might be certain times where it is very clear cut.
Like you go to a restaurant and there's only two things on the menu. There's anchovies and there's pizza and you hate anchovies. It becomes really quickly like obvious. What's the right answer here? I'm gonna get pizza. Okay? Most of life is not questions like that. Most of life is not like this is black and this is white. Which one do you want? And there's a clear cut one because if there was those decisions, you don't waste any time going back and forth over those decisions you already know. But most of life is not in that in those decisions, it's in the gray area, right? Most of life is 50 50. There's pros and cons to any decision you make. If you stay, there's gonna be good things about staying and bad things. And if you leave, there's gonna be good things and there's gonna be bad things, there's gonna be good things that you're gonna love.
There's gonna be bad things you're gonna have to deal with in either situation and your brain like tricks you into believing. Like no, if we just think about it more, then maybe we'll secretly reveal the right decision where everything is wonderful but that just won't happen ever. It just never will. And so you'll stay stuck thinking there's some right decision and you just have to discover it. So we go around and we do all these assessments and we talk to all these people and we get everyone's opinions and we, we constantly wait until this like right decision kind of reveals itself but then you'll just stay stuck forever. And I think a lot of us, what we do is this illusion that we've all done up until in our lives. Each one of you that are here has done this before. Like, no, no, no, I'll be happy when this happens.
I just need to find a job that fulfills all of my dreams. Once I get married I'll be happy. And then we get there and what happens? 50 50, some really good things, some really bad things, just the way life is. And I think the biggest um, disservice we've been taught is that there's a place where we can be happy all the time cuz there isn't. And so we can stop chasing it. We can stop thinking that we need to change things in order to feel happy all the time. We can feel happy exactly where we are. And half the time we're gonna feel stressed. We're gonna have anxiety, we're gonna have to learn how to manage our mind anyways, okay? So when you start realizing there is no right decision here, there is none. So what do I wanna do now, now that I know there's no right decision, which one do I wanna do?
Right? So many of us keep making these like ProCon lists. We keep making lists of like, why should I leave? Why should I stay? What do you know, whatever. Thinking again that like something is gonna change at a certain point when you're making a decision, you have all the information you're gonna have, you're not gonna have anymore until you make the decision and learn new things, right? And we think if I just stay here longer and keep getting in more information, at some point that right decision is going to reveal itself. Um, a life coach that I love, car othal, she always gives the example of like, it's like trying on three pairs of clothes and you just keep retrying them on over and over again hoping that like it looks different but it's like the kid, these are the options. Which 1:00 AM I gonna go with? There's no right one. And it's not changing. It doesn't matter how many times I go through these pro and con list. It doesn't matter how many lists I make at some point I just have to make a decision. And here's the thing, when you're looking for the right decision, you're looking for certainty. You're think thinking like, I wanna know which decision I'm gonna make that's going to turn out to be everything in my wildest dreams, right?
But how can you ever know what's gonna happen? How can we ever know without taking a step, right? Like let's say you get an offer for a new job. I coach a lot on this kind of stuff. Let's say you come in and you're like, Hey, I got this offer. I have researched the company, I've gone to Glassdoor, I've talked to some people that work there. Um, I know the industry, I, this is the information I can get beforehand, right? There is some information we have to get after that. There's no possible way for you to know if you're gonna love it or not when you go, okay, how do you know what it's gonna be like to work with those specific coworkers? You can't. How can you know what management's gonna be like, how can you know what your clients are gonna be like?
How can you, how can you know any of it? You cannot. Okay? And so for a lot of us we wait because we're like, well I don't know. What if I take this job and it's not good enough? What if I take this job and it's worse than it is in here? What if, yeah, those are all great questions. What if, how can we know We'll sit in what if forever because there's no answer to that question. And I know that's so hard to take because it's like, well I don't, it feels like as though we're like jumping off a cliff and we're gonna get to that in number two. But the pressure that we put ourselves on ourselves to find the right answer is what keeps us stuck is what keeps us in this uncertainty. I have, um, when my niece was 13, I, I've told this story before.
She had been a gymnast from like four to like 11. She had to stop cuz she hurt her leg. She ended up trying basketball and hating it. So she quit that and then she was doing uh, swimming and she hated it but she didn't wanna admit that she hated it or she didn't like it. Maybe she didn't hate it and she was having anxiety attacks before she was going. And I was trying to talk to her and she was saying, well like, well I can't quit this because I'm gonna be a failure and I don't know what else I would do. Right? And I think about this example a lot because like how could she have known what sport is the right sport until she tried it? How could she have known if like she doesn't do basketball and she tries swimming, how could she have known she would like swimming or not?
Like she's now doing softball and she loves softball. Who would've known if she didn't just te try and figure out that she likes it, right? Just because they've like made us believe that you can get one job and you're supposed to stay with it for the rest of your life. Doesn't mean that that's a natural thing that actually happens with humans, right? It's just the way our society was set up. And it's okay for us to decide that. Like that no longer works and the only way that I learn is to experiment is to try things. Now you don't have to go ahead and quit your whole job to try things, but you have to know that you have to be willing to make decisions and try things and learn and evaluate and not stay stuck in like what is the right decision, okay? If you're waiting for certainty, you'll wait forever.
The second thing that plays on that is that we have this idea that like, well this next decision is final fine. Like I don't know what the right one is, but if I quit and I go after this job, that's it. That's it. I can't do anything else after this. It's not true and it's not helpful to think, sorry. I know we love to believe it's true. We love to believe that it's final because we don't, it's so hard already to make this one decision. It's like I can't go through this again. But it doesn't help you to think this because it's not true because you could change your mind. What happens when we talk about overwhelm is like when you feel pressure, when you have this pressure, when you have this thought of like, oh my god, this is gonna be the final decision I make forever and I feel overwhelmed. What do I do? I do nothing. I decide this is way too much pressure cuz how can I know what I'm gonna do for the rest of my life?
And so we decide like I can't handle that big of a decision so I'm gonna do nothing. The reality is you can and you will change your mind. You will. This is the thing I want you guys all to understand. There's a thing called end of history illusion, okay? In psychology it's an illusion where we underestimate how much we're gonna change in the future. Okay? So like we see how much we changed in the past, we see how much our tastes, our perceptions, our values have changed. Like I'm not the same person I was in my twenties luckily, right? I've grown, I've learned a lot of things about the world. I've changed, changed my views on a lot of the world. I've changed my views on like what I even like to do, who I am. All of those things have changed in my twenties, in my thirties.
But it's fascinating because all of us think like, okay, well now I'm done. This is the person I am and I'm not gonna change anymore. And it's simply an illusion because you will, you will continue to change and in the next 10 years you won't be the same person either. And we have to start normalizing changing our mind. We have to start understanding that this is not like some kind of defect in you. It's being a human. You are gonna grow, you're gonna learn and you're gonna wanna change your mind. And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. It's natural, it's normal, it's actually beautiful. And the when you learn how to start normalizing, changing your mind, you can stop taking, putting on the pressure that like the decision I make now will be with me for the rest of my life and I can't do anything about it.
I want you to start like a normalizing, changing your mind in everything in the food that you eat and the way that you dress in what you do for fun, in what you do for work. All of these things can change. I was thinking about this recently. I never used to wear lipstick cause I told myself I don't look good in lipstick and I've just decided now I'm gonna change my mind about that. Cause what was that rule I just made up for myself, right? Like we all just make up these random things and then we hold ourselves to them forever and ever again. This doesn't mean that you have to willy-nilly. You're gonna change things all the time. And I understand there's logistics. Logistics and we're gonna talk about that on what on Thursday about leaving and what you have to have in place.
And one of the things I teach a lot is like how do you experiment like kind of baby steps so you can understand what are the things I love? What are the things I don't love? But you first have to understand like, yeah, I might make a decision. Like my niece might make a decision to do swimming and then realize I don't like swimming. Okay? As long as I don't attach a story, as long as I don't make that mean that I can never be happy there's something wrong with me. I'm just too flaky. I will always change my mind. I will never follow through. Like that's what causes so much pain. And that's what causes us to stay stuck in places that we know. Like, all right, I tried this, it wasn't for me, I don't like it. Now what am I gonna do?
I want you to think about how many years you have left to work. I want you guys to tell me in the chat, how many years do you think you have left? I'm uh, 40 and I will likely work until I'm, I'm thinking at least 70, probably six, I mean 65 for sure. But like nowadays, what? 70? So I'm gonna work for 30 more years at least. Some people are gonna work, you know, till 80, 85. So it could be like the low end. 30, 30, 25, 30, 30. Okay. 25. Okay? 45, 15, 30 to 40. Okay, so you guys get what I'm saying. You have 30 or 40 more years of working 20 to 40, somewhere in that range. We're we're all coming in at, okay, I want you to think about how many lives you could lead in 30 years. I wanna think about 30 years ago how old you were, like what your worldview was, what type of person you were, right? 30 years ago I was 10 years old. , a lot has changed in that 30 years. So much changes, right? And if we start stop thinking that like we have to have it all figured out and the decision we make right now is the decision we have to stick with for the rest of our lives, we can actually start making better decisions because it's just not true for most things. There are some things that are final, very few most decisions are not.
And I want you to think about like even now within career, like think about how much is changing with technology. Like we've already seen how rapidly and how much more rapidly it's gonna go. Right now with AI it's coming out. But I want you to even think about like, I think about 30 years ago, like 19 90, 93, right? The 1990s. Think about how much has changed in those 30 years. How many industries that were never there are now available, right? Think about what's gonna happen in the next 30 years. A lot of you, your industries might not even be around. So if you have to make a decision about where you're gonna stay and you're so hell bent on like, I have to stay in this for the rest of my life. You're in for a rude awakening. Instead of accepting like of course things are gonna change.
I can only decide what I'm gonna do now. Right? Think about how many different careers you could have. I talk about this a lot. Like I absolutely adore what I do. I love this work so much and I'm, I love this business so much, but one of the most liberating things that I've had is really thinking about like in five years I might not even be doing this. I have no idea. There's so many other opportunities, there's so many other things I might explore, right? When I stopped letting that terrify me, I mean like, oh my god, I need to know. Because we've been so programmed with believing that like you pick something and you do it for the rest of your life and it just doesn't work that way anymore. And so when we can start being a little more fluid about our careers too and we stop like all of these lies that we have, like you can't have a gap on your resume or like it looks bad if you've only been a place for a year.
I know somebody who changed careers, like jobs over the last five or six years has gone to like three or four different careers everyone for a year and has used that to increase their salary by over a hundred thousand dollars. Cause they renegotiate at each place. Like all of these preconceived notions that we have about jobs are just wrong. And so if you can let go of that, if you can let go of this idea that like the decision I make has to be the most final one ever, I can never change it. It becomes a little easier to make a decision. So the question isn't what is the best career I can find that'll love for the rest of my life? Like that is a lot of pressure. It's what's the next best decision in my career right now? What am I gonna focus on in the short term and the long term?
What am I gonna focus on in the next six months, year, two years? Where do I wanna be? What do I wanna try, right? If there's no right decision, what do I wanna do? And we're gonna talk about how you start making these decisions, but it becomes like the pressure becomes so much less. And the last one is like that. There is some easy way out there isn't I? I think a lot of times we're just waiting. It's like I don't wanna make this choice and I'm hoping that someone comes, saves me. I'm hoping that like I win the lottery or the sky's part and somebody is like, you don't have to work anymore. Listen, you can wait for that day. I just don't think it's gonna come. And I don't want you to stop. Like I don't want you to keep wasting your life waiting for some time where this becomes an easy choice.
It's not easy. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it for you. It's not easy to change your career because it's easier to stay stuck, but it's also not easy to be miserable every day. So you just have to pick your heart, right? Like am I going to choose this one life that I have and know I'm gonna be afraid? Know there's gonna be doubt. I know it's gonna be hard and I'm gonna do it anyway. I'm gonna give myself the opportunity to explore who I am, to evolve who I am to try new things. Or am I gonna be stuck in like, well it's too hard so I'm not gonna do anything so I'm just gonna stay here and hate it. Okay, so now what if there's no right or final or easy decision, what do we do? How do we make a decision? I'm gonna talk about those three things right now.
It's a, you have to learn that decision making is a skill. You have to learn how to make next best decisions. And as my friend Olivia Viro, who's another amazing life coach that I follow, um, her like tagline is always gag and go, you're gonna be afraid. You're not gonna wanna do it. And you're still gonna have to, you're gonna feel the fear and you're gonna take the step. Okay, so here's the thing. Decision making is a skill. It's not something that you're like born with. It's just good news. It's a rep, you know, it's like exercise. The more reps you put in, the better you become at making decisions. It's learning how to make a decision when you don't know how it will turn out. At some point we were lied to because people gave us the answers. People said like, you should be a lawyer, you should go be a doctor. This is the path to being an engineer. And we thought like all the decisions are already made. I just have to s follow this path. I have to simply do what people tell me. And where did that end us up? Most of us tried this and we realized that wasn't the decision for me either because I wasn't actually paying attention to who I am, what I like, what I want.
So I wanna know how many of you guys have a problem with making like even really small decisions like picking a restaurant, figuring out what you're gonna eat, figuring out what you're gonna wear, figuring out how to spend your day. So many people who um, have like a day off like on a Saturday I feel like get so stressed out about like, should I rest and read or should I finish that project or should I go to um, work out or should I go for a walk? And then like the whole day kind of goes away cause we're spinning indecision about um, what we wanna do. So let me know in the chat like how many of you struggle with small decisions paralysis by analysis? Yeah, so many of us, not me. That's great. Laura. Me Okay, yep. so much ordering stress at restaurants me literally all the time.
Yes. Feeling bad because I'm not doing enough. Me. Yep. Okay. Um, yeah, I wanna make the best of it. That's ah, that is such a good thought to catch. So when we catch ourselves, smallest are the hardest. Yes. Okay. I always feel like I'll regret it. Analysis paralysis. Okay, I love this you guys. Um, we regret regret. I love that. Okay, that's a great term. Um, okay, so many of us do this and by the way, like this is also, this isn't like our fault. A lot of us we're just trained to not trust ourselves, especially women, the patriarchy. But even just within our society, we've been told that there's this perfectionist standard that we always have to get it right. That every um, decision is, you know, is some kind of indictment on who we are and how we like just our character.
And so we've become paralyzed because we think we have to be perfect. We think we have to always get the right decision, which is impossible. It is. I imposs you will wake wrong decisions. That's called life, right? Like imagine like thinking, you know what, I have to hit it out of the park every single time. Every decision I make from small ones to big ones has to be the right one. I have to know what to order that's gonna be good at this restaurant I've never even been at. I have to know what to wear. That's gonna always look good. I have to know like exactly what to say in every meeting. That's an absurd standard to try to hold yourself to. Okay, so we're gonna talk about it for a second. I want you to pick one small decision, like scenario. Let's say picking a restaurant for a group of friends to eat at.
I used to struggle with this so much. Like if somebody asked me where did you wanna eat? I would always defer, I don't care, I'm easygoing. Whatever you want. I just did not want to be responsible for being the person that picked the restaurant. And I wonder why. I want you to think about it. Let's say in this scenario, what is the worst case thing that's gonna happen when you pick the restaurant or when you pick the food, as Heather just said, like the pre-reg regret. We're already worried about regretting that decision. So I want us to like go there. Like what do you think the worst case scenario is?
That someone won't like anything on the menu. That the, there'll be terrible food and service. Yes. People won't like your decision and will be mad about it. Disappointing your friends. Feeling foolish. Oh my god, you guys, these are so good. Yes, your friends don't like the menu and they look at you. It feels like it's my fault. And that sucks. You guys couldn't have answered better. Okay? A hundred percent. So we create these, again, this story. If the food is bad, Eddie just put, if the food is bad, it'll be my fault. Is that like a true statement? Like you are responsible for the food that's served at every restaurant. You have to know what the service is gonna be like that day. You have to know if the chef, you know, I've gone to restaurants where some days the food's got some days it's not.
When we create, this is the finality of it. Like this is the pressure that we put on that. Like if I pick something that I have, have no control over, I have control over where we pick. Maybe I, I don't know, I feel like Mexican. Let's say I'm gonna pick a Mexican restaurant or I want sushi or whatever. I have no idea what the food is gonna be like. I have no idea what the service is gonna be like. Somehow I've made myself believe I am responsible for everyone's experience there. Every feeling that other people have is my fault now. Right? So you as have already answered this, what would you feel if that happened? We would feel disappointed. We would feel foolish. We would feel ashamed. And those are, that's our own choice by the way. Nobody can make us feel that way. But we are choosing to feel that way because we believe these thoughts of, I should have known better. I should have picked something else. I should have, I don't know, found a better restaurant. I shouldn't have made the decision. This is why so many of us then defer cuz it's like I don't want that pressure. I don't wanna have to think and beat myself up and tell myself I should have made a better decision. Right?
And a lot of us think it, when you look at the feeling that you're feeling, you have to ask yourself like, what am I thinking? If that happened? I'm thinking I should have known better. I, I'm thinking I made the mistake. I ruined everyone's dinner, I ruined this meal. Everybody's mad at me, everybody hates me. Like, yes. When I think those thoughts, I feel like. And it makes even really small decisions really difficult. This is what so many of us have now created in our lives, which is why making decisions becomes so hard because we've put this pressure on like, I have to make the right decision every time. Or I'm gonna rake myself over the coals. I'm gonna be so mean to myself. I'm gonna beat myself up. I'm gonna feel all this shame and guilt. I'm gonna feel all of this humiliation or whatever else I'm gonna feel.
So of course I don't wanna make a decision. I'm just gonna defer. And so we started deferring our whole life. Oh, I don't care what we eat, I don't care what we eat, I don't care what I wear. I don't care what we go on vacation. I'm just not gonna, I don't wanna be responsible. And then we do it with ourselves because we're so scared. This is like your perfectionism showing up, right? It's thinking like imagine thinking that you could ever get all of these decisions, right? But we do. We don't consciously think it, but we subconsciously do. We think if I just prepare enough then I will. I don't know. That's why we like, we look at all the Yelp reviews and we do all this stuff. I've done this too where it's like you look at all the Yelp reviews and then you show up and there's an hour and a half wait, you couldn't have known that. And then you start beating yourself. Well I should have found somewhere that had a reservation or whatever.
And it's funny because like it, I mean it would be funny if it wasn't sad and the reality is that we have to make so many decisions every day. And this leads us to analysis paralysis all day, every day. Like, think about this, if we can't make a decision about a restaurant, of course we can't make a decision about our career, right? It's like the most inconsequential one meal. Um, there was a person I knew who had decided that even when he went to restaurants, he wouldn't even open the menu. He would just tell the waiter, like, pick something at every, at any restaurant. And I asked him, I was like, wait, this is insane because like I'm very picky about what I wanna eat and I'm always like scared I'm picking the wrong thing cuz I always have fomo and I feel like I'm gonna miss out on other really delicious things.
And he was like, I'm gonna eat again in three hours. Why would I waste my energy? And it was mind blowing to me. But I was thinking about this that like the pre pressure I put on, like, if I go to this meal and it's not the best meal of my life, I'm gonna make it mean something really terrible as opposed to now like, you don't have to outsource someone making the decision for what you eat, but you have to change the way you think about it. You have to change the way, like what you could make it mean. And so we have to think about how much time we waste on these, not just on the decision, but on the pre-reg regret and the post regret and the, you know, stewing over this and I cut should have made it a better decision and why didn't I?
And what does that cost you? And now one of the ways the things that I coach on, if you listen to the podcast, I coach a lot on your thoughts. And what I coach on in um, in my membership is thinking on purpose is choosing to intentionally think different things. So what our brain has been kind of on autopilot and we've been like, whatever our brain gives us, we just kind of take. And so for so many of us, we've been thinking these things for so long and you really have to sit with what could I think instead? So if you go to a restaurant, let's say the worst case scenario happens, you pick a place, terrible service food turns out to be terrible, nobody likes it. What could you think instead? Gimme some options in the chat. I'm gonna take a sip of water. man. I know, I know. This isn't the best pick. Yeah, I mean it could just be stating the reality. Well this wasn't the best choice this time. I guess I'm not gonna come back to this restaurant. Good to know. Well Elise, we'll have a story for next time. Right?
Or you could think like, yeah we're gonna eat again in three hours. That sucked. Sure we can have another meal together. I'll plan the next meal to make sure it's better. There's so many other things we could think, right? We could choose like it's okay. Yeah, it's a story. We had a common experience five years from now it won't even matter. Absolutely. And also like you know what? People can have bad experiences once in a while and be okay. I always to always think about this like I'd have feel pressure of like I was going with my uncle or like older people and I was like, oh my God, I have to like pick the, they're not gonna like the food. And then I was like, you know what? I think they'll be alright. They'll be disappointed one day. It's fine. Heather says, five days from now.
Yes, five days from now we won't think about it. And yet we spent a whole day ruminating about how terrible it was. Right? It's so good that you guys are seeing this because it's really just important to see like of course if I cannot do it with something small, if I feel pressure from where I have to choose, like I used to do this my god. Like when somebody would ask me to um, meet for coffee and I couldn't even like pick the coffee shop even though it's all gonna be coffee. But it's like what if it's too far? What if they don't wanna drive there? What if it's in an inconvenient place? What if it doesn't look cute enough? What if they're like mind blowing, right? And one of the things I had to practice in this making of decisions and making it a skill is being decisive and knowing they might be far, they might get annoyed.
I might get annoyed. It might not be pretty, we might not have a great experience. It's gonna be okay. I'll still have to make another decision and another and another. And the more I learn how to control what I think about it afterwards, the more I control how I don't have pre regret and I don't even have post regret because it is what it is. The more I can make decisions faster in my life and I can stop stewing and I can make bigger decisions and I can really start showing my brain, it's not the end of the world. Like when we have this thing that like, oh my god, picking the wrong restaurant is the such a huge calamity and you're like, eh, it actually really isn't. When you start lowering that pressure, it becomes easier to make decisions. It starts like, yeah, all right, I'll change my mind if we go there.
I mean you could even say like in these kind of situations you can go and hey, there's too long of a wait or the service is not good. We can always get up and leave. Like there's other options. And we like to believe like, nope, this is it. It's final, can't do anything. And the more you show your brain that that is not true, the easier it becomes to make decisions. So here's what I'm gonna teach you about making your next best decision. It's not the final decision, it's not the best decision ever in the world, it's just the next best decision you can make right now. Okay? These are the steps. You have to decide to have your own back from the beginning. So what that means is that regardless of how this turns out, I will not go back and beat myself up.
Okay? What happens for a lot of us is like we have a L, we have a certain amount of information, right? And we make a decision at point A, well let's just say point C. So we have A and B, we have that information we can take into consideration and we make a decision at C and then we go and we live life and we learn things and we get experiences. Or we go to the restaurant and we have the meal and then we get to point J and we're not happy with it. We were like, yeah, this isn't how I thought it was gonna turn out. I actually don't really like playing swimming and I actually didn't like this restaurant or whatever. And what we do is instead of being like, okay, good to know I don't like this or this restaurant was terrible, or next time I'm gonna pick whatever, like now I have some data, what we do is like we go back and we beat ourselves up.
Like we beat the person that was at point C. We think like how could I have been so stupid? Why didn't I know? Why didn't I pay more attention? Right? And one of the things that you have to get really good at in order to make better decisions is to learn to not do that is to learn like of course I'm gonna make mistakes, of course I'm gonna make decisions that I don't feel great about. Sometimes of course they're not gonna turn out the way that I always want and I did the best they could. I made that best decision right then I stopped wasting my life, I stopped wasting my time and I can always have my own back, right? This is one of the biggest skills that you need to learn is just learning how to have your own back, is to turn down that inner critic a little bit that loves to tell you how terrible you are and know that like I'm just a human, I'm gonna, I'm gonna get it right sometimes I'm gonna get it wrong.
Here's the biggest difference I've seen with people that are really decisive and people that are really successful in their lives. And by success I mean like doing the things they wanna do, trying new things, trying hobbies out there, living their lives is that it's not that they don't, that they make all better decisions, they don't. It's just that they're willing to make more of them. So like if you are juggling 80 balls in the air, you're gonna drop a bunch, right? So let's say you drop 20, you still have 60 balls in the air that you of, of the things that you love doing. If you are so focused on like I can only throw one ball in the air because if it drops I'm gonna hate myself and I'm gonna beat myself up and I'm never gonna like this or whatever. And let's say you don't like that ball, you're kind of stuck. You only have that one or you have two and you make your life so much smaller. You make your life so much less exciting of the things that you want because you're so scared of dropping a ball. And so one of the things like that we all have to learn is like of course I'm gonna drop a lot of balls. That's okay. I have a whole bunch more, right? I have a lot more decisions to make. There's a lot more things I can do.
Okay? After you learn how to decide to have your own back, you have to know your reasons why you're making the decision. So what I just told you guys is that you can't know how it's gonna turn out. That's for sure. We don't know how it's gonna turn out, but we can't know why we're doing it. We can know beforehand, like I said, when you're making a decision at c, a and B are the reasons why you're doing it. And for a lot of you, when you really look at this, you're not gonna like the reasons. A lot of times we l we choose things because like I don't wanna disappoint my parents. What is everyone gonna think? If I leave, people think well, well think I'm crazy. Like those aren't really good reasons to stay somewhere. If that's like the only reason you're staying, you may wanna question that, right?
You may not know how it's gonna turn out, but if your reasons are like, I wanna live the fullest life, I wanna try this experience, I wanna see my hand at at running a business, I wanna grow as a person and learn how to do new things and put myself out there or whatever, those might be really great decisions because even if it doesn't turn out the way that I wanted to, at least I became the person I wanted to be. At least I got things out of this that I wanted. At least I knew why I was doing this, right? And so when you know your reasons why you're making the decision, it can become a lot easier to know what decision to make. Cause you look at the reasons why, like what's my reasons for staying? What's my reasons for leaving? Not how is it gonna turn out, but why am I choosing to go in either direction?
Then you gotta make the decision. This is the gag and go, this is like, it's still gonna feel like. It's still gonna feel super doubtful. I don't know how it's gonna turn out. I don't know if I'm gonna love it. I still won't know. And I still have to just take that step. I have to pick the restaurant even though we have no idea how it's gonna turn out in the restaurant. This is the the step that everybody skips. We just go from making a decision and then beating ourselves up. We're like, eh, that didn't work. So instead of learning anything from this process, I'm just gonna tell myself how terrible I am. And if you spend the time to actually evaluate why did this work and why did it not right? What did I like? Like when I talk about my nieces, when I was asking her, what about basketball did you not like?
What did you like, what about gymnastics did you like? When you evaluate then you, there's so much gold there, there's so much to mine to start realizing like, oh, this is the thing I actually like. This is what, not what I like. I've been doing this recently. Um, I've been really like reevaluating what brings me joy. And I realized I was doing so many things that I just thought I should do or so many things that other brings other people joy or that I just, I don't know, thought should be fun and I do them and I spend money on them and I do these experiences and I buy these things and I could beat myself up. I could think like, Ugh, why'd you buy this designer purse? You don't actually like that. Whatever. Let's say as an example. But what I've been doing is like I have to go through this to see like what do I like?
Did I like this? Did this bring me actually any joy? Did I actually like this experience? Did I like this vacation? Do I like going on vacations where we are camping or do I wanna do a luxury vacation? I can't know until I try these things. And the more I evaluate, the more I get to know myself, the more I come back to myself, the more I start understanding like, oh this is why. Why did I do this? Why did I make that decision? What was driving that? Like there's so much to evaluate If we can like stop beating ourselves up for 10 minutes and then you pivot, then you decide like, okay, I tried this. Like I'll give you my example. I uh, started that photo booth business knowing I wasn't gonna love photo booths, but I just really wanted to learn entrepreneurship. And through that process I learned so much about what parts of entrepreneurship I did like and what parts I didn't.
I started learning what kind of products I liked working with and what kind of products I didn't. I started looking thinking about what parts were actually really important to me and what parts weren't. That was how I was able in the next business I started, which was the, the lessons from a quitter to realize like what I wanted to focus on, what I didn't, I wouldn't have known that had I not started that first business, right? There's no way for me to have, you're just not born with that information. It's learned through experience. That's how we do all of our learning is like trying something, learning, pivoting everything. And yet for so many of us, because we were raised in school that told us like no, you only have to get a hundred percent. You memorized, you do what someone tells you. You don't ever question it.
We all think like there is some secret answer in life where someone's gonna give us the answer and we know a hundred percent certainty what's gonna happen. It just doesn't work that way. It's the way that like actual life is, you know like how kids learn. You get on a bike, you fall, you learn, hey this is what I have to do for my balance. You try it again. It's the same thing with all of it. Like that's, it's really that simple. And then you have your own back. So when you decided to have your own back in the beginning, like once you pivot, that's when you have your own back. Here's what I want us to really understand like is that I think a lot of us think that this is life. We think like, oh, I'm gonna make one decision and it's an open path.
And if I pick, and this is like the best part, it's like I, if I pick one, it's gonna lead to all my hopes and dreams. It's gonna be rainbows and butterflies, it's gonna be sunshine. And if I pick the wrong one, it's gonna be completely doomsday. My whole life's gonna go to hell and that's it. Those are the only two paths and I have to find that path. And of course if I think that's the only solution, it's a lot of pressure to figure out which one is that path, right? But that's not what life is. Life is more like this except for that. I couldn't find a graphic where it doesn't have this path in the center. So ignore the fact that there is one path in the center of this, but this is what life is. A bunch of a million paths and with each one you have to go like I even would liken it to like being in a forest, right?
Where there is no path and you're just like you have a machete and you're just gonna go forward and then you're gonna figure out is this too hilly and do I wanna go left And it looks prettier here and now we're getting into a cliff and do I wanna turn around? And it's simply constantly evaluating and going, evaluating and going, okay, like this is what your life is, is a constant. Do I make a right here? Do I make a left? Do I wanna go straight? There's no right answer, right? Okay. Here's the other thing that I want you to understand is that you're always making a decision. Not making a decision is a decision. Okay? So it's a decision to stay. You're making that decision every day when you're saying, I'm not gonna change, I'm gonna stay in this job. You are making that decision.
That's okay, it might be the right decision for you, but just don't think that you're not making a decision, you're choosing it, okay? But doing it this way can make you feel really helpless. It gives your power away, right? It's like, uh, it's sort of happening to you even though you are the one choosing. You just wanna believe, well there's nothing I can do right now. I'm stuck here. And it makes us feel as though we are kind of this victim in our own lives and this we have this false belief that like I think when we go back to the finality of it, I think we think like, well if I'm not making a decision then I can still change my mind, right? Like I don't wanna close off any other opportunities because I already know I'm unhappy here, but I don't wanna make that next decision.
At least that's open to maybe I'll do something else. Maybe something will pop out of the sky, right? But the thing is is that even if you make a decision, you can change your mind even if you try something else. I know we don't wanna hear that, right? But I want you to know that it's on the table. I know you wanna think that the next thing you pick has to be the thing. And as long as you are putting that pressure on yourself, you won't make a decision. You're always allowed to change your mind always. Um, my mentor who I got certified through at the life coach school, brook co shoes to always ask and she would ask it with respect to like marriage. Ask yourself, would I choose this again every day? Every year, right? And she was saying it with marriage and I remember the first time I thought about like when she said, I was like, Ugh, I dunno if you wanna ask that because like you're already married to this person and whatnot, right?
And the thing is, is I think like a lot of times we don't wanna lift the curtain back because we're scared of what we're gonna have to face. We're scared to ask that question and say like, would I choose this? Would I choose this career again if I was starting over? If the answer is no, then there's something you should do about it, right? It's time to make a change. But then we get caught in like, but I'm so scared, I'm so scared of doing this, right? Not lifting it doesn't mean it's not there. Like a lot of times it's like we don't want it to pull the curtain back cause we're afraid of the cobwebs. We're afraid of what's gonna be under there. That doesn't mean they're not there just because you're not looking at it, it's not like because you ignore it, you're just pushing it down and you're making yourself miserable by not dealing with it. So asking yourself this question and choosing it intentionally. If I'm gonna choose to stay here, maybe I'm choosing to stay because I wanna save up financially until I, great, okay, let me choose this intentionally. Let me decide to love it while I am staying here.
Again, not asking this doesn't mean you're not making a decision. So I want you to just decide to decide. I want you to make the decision that like I'm gonna start making decisions, I'm gonna start becoming the person that is decisive. I'm gonna change that about myself. I'm gonna not be the person that doesn't make decisions. We're gonna stop putting this on the back burner for some day. We're not gonna wait for some easy lottery winning day that's gonna come, that's gonna make my decision for me. We're gonna decide to go in the direction of our life right now. We're gonna decide that like we're not gonna know what we're gonna do, but we're gonna decide to decide. We're gonna decide. If I'm not gonna choose this anymore this year, then I need to get to work figuring out what I'm gonna do. That doesn't mean you have to quit tomorrow, doesn't mean you have to do anything drastic.
It just means that you have to make a decision that like, it's like cutting off the other possibility. You're saying like, I'm not gonna stay here anymore tomorrow we're gonna talk about how you can love it. So if you wanna decide tomorrow to love it, great, then we're gonna figure out how you're gonna start doing that. If you're gonna decide you're gonna leave it, it doesn't mean you have to leave it tomorrow. It doesn't mean that you have to leave it this year, but you're gonna decide, hey, this chapter's over and I wanna find something else, right? Great. Then we can get to work actually getting you to the life that you want. So T tomorrow, we'll do love it. Thursday we'll do leave it. The homework I want you to do today, just very quickly, I want you to take 10 minutes and I want you to go around your house and I want you to make one unmade decision.
I want you to see how much stress is in all of these unmade decisions. And what I mean by that is you're gonna walk around your house and you're gonna find a ton of unmade decisions. One I have right now on this desk is just this pile, okay? This is just unmade decisions. It's just me. Look, why are there markers here? I was doing something like a month ago and I still haven't moved it right? I just haven't moved it because it's like, I don't know where to put it. There's no right place. I don't know like am I gonna find it? Do I need it? Whatever. But it takes up visual space, it takes up mental space. All of these things happen because we constantly refuse to make small decisions, okay? Now it could be around your house, you could even make a small decision that's like for work on your computer.
Maybe you're supposed to respond to an email and you haven't cause you don't know how to respond. Just make a decision to do it. Make a decision. Go out and see and try with small things so you can start seeing like, hey, can I have my own back? Can I just know why I'm gonna make this decision? Can I know there's no right decision? Can I know I can change my mind and can I just make it? And the more you start doing it, it's reps, I promise you, you start realizing like, oh, I can pick the restaurant, I can pick what I'm going to eat very quickly. I can decide. It doesn't matter. It doesn't have to be the best decision. So that's what you're gonna do today. That's it for today. Just l really understanding the fundamentals of decision making, of the fact that we're gonna have to make decisions when we're scared.
I know you guys ask some questions, I'm gonna get to them and you can put it in the q and a. Some of you put some questions, um, I'll get to the ones in the chat as well and hopefully we can have a little bit of time. I'm happy to stay on and coach some of you if you want to get coached. But before we do, because I know some of you are interested, I wanted to let you know that my monthly membership is where we take these concepts and where we actually apply it and you get coaching so that you can make those decisions, okay? It's where you learn how to make decisions, how to manage your mind. And when I mean manage your mind is all of that beating up that we talked about. All those thoughts that we like to attach to things for no reason.
All the stories of like I should have known, we, you learn an entire method of how to overcome that, how to stop that, how to stop this, this insanity that happens in our brain. And you learn how to create a plan and we're gonna do something really special over the next 90 days. We're gonna do something called the 90 day decision. I dunno, program minicourse. It's just called 90 Day Decisions. And I'm so excited about it because over the next three months you're going to learn how to make decisions. You're gonna make, I'm gonna teach you a tool that is called the 90 day decisions. And it will help you get over the overwhelm, it'll help you make things into bite size, 90 day decisions. Not ones that you make in January and you forget and you learn how to evaluate. You learn how to start like figuring out what am I gonna stay for the next 90 days?
Great, I'm gonna stop torturing myself and I'm gonna like, this is what I'm gonna work on loving it for these 90 days. Then I'm gonna move on to leaving it. Let's just say, okay, you'll learn that system. Then in July, we'll we'll make what we call a love it plan. So once you decide tomorrow that you're gonna love it, you're gonna figure out what is the plan. It's an actual plan. It's not like I'm just gonna hope that I love it. I'm gonna figure out what are the things I have to do to love it. What are the things I have to implement, what are the boundaries I have to put? How do I have to start using my free time? All of those things are gonna change how you feel about where you're at. Okay? You're gonna learn how to evaluate, you're gonna learn short-term and long-term goals.
And then in August we're gonna do your leave it plan. You're gonna learn, if I'm gonna leave it, how much money do I need? How much time is that gonna take me to get it? How am I gonna make that? What is the vision I want? What are the things I wanna do? And so by the end of these 90 days, you're gonna learn, you're gonna have your decision, you're gonna have your plan, you're gonna have your 90 day decision and your next 90 day decision, right? So you're gonna start working in these quarterly imp increments, plus you get everything else in the club, right? So this is what we're working on the next 90 days. You also get all of the live coaching calls, the written coaching, we have a private podcast feed where you can listen to it on the go. We have a private community, there's roadmaps for your that have all these videos and worksheets that you can do or not do.
And I'm so confident that I can get you guys to make a decision in 90 days about whether you're gonna stay or leave, even if there's no right decision. Even if you don't know what you wanna do, then I'll guarantee it to become for 90 days and you do this work and you don't have a decision, I'll give you your money back, no questions asked. I just know I can get you there. So this by the way, just as a caveat, this doesn't mean if you're gonna come and then don't show up to the calls and don't do any of the worksheets and you're like, oh, it didn't work for me. That's not what I mean. What I mean is if you do show up and you do the worksheets and you come to at least two coaching calls a month and you get coached, you raise your hand and you ask for coaching, you will have your decision in 90 days.
You will know whether you're gonna love it or leave it. You'll have your plan, you'll know how to do it and then you can move on with your life and actually start creating that life that you want. So if you wanna join me, I have one more bonus for today because I know a lot of you have been waiting to join. So I want you to join today. Um, if you join by the end of the day today, I'm gonna give you a one-on-one call too, which you know if you know, if you've been around, I don't ever offer this, I don't ever do one-on-one calls. So if you one-on-one call at the end of your 90 days will, we will go through your plan. You have to join by the end of today, okay? That's simply because I want you guys to stop sitting on the fence and thinking about this decision forever because it is $197 a month.
It's, you will never find this much value for the price. I used to charge $4,000 for this program. I know people that charge thousands and thousands for their programs. I want it to be accessible. I want you to be like stop staying stuck. I want you to stop spinning. So if you are ready over the next three months to do this work, I want you to join me. You can go to quitter, I'm gonna put it in the chat, um, sorry, it's lessons from a club and you can join today and I would love to have you in there. Oh, Michelle already beat me to it. Thanks Michelle. Um, alright, so that's all I got for you now I wanna answer your questions. Hello. So darken, okay, I have a lot in the chat, but I'm just gonna go through the q and a.
When I was young, I changed jobs, tried new things without fear. Now I have a family and a grownup life and I can't seem to think beyond what I'm currently doing and changing careers jobs seem so much harder, especially since I'm at a high higher level at my art, okay? And that's help. Listen, I know it seems like it is so much harder, okay? And it seems like there's pressure because of the thoughts that you have, thoughts that you have. Now I have a family, now I have to be responsible. Now I have to be the person that doesn't change their job. Now I have to be the person that, you know, makes sure I have an income. This is what we're gonna talk about on Wednesday. One of the things that I have found is that money is a very, um, uh, powerful front for fear.
Okay? So for a lot of us, we have to separate out where is it the money and where is it that I'm scared? And what I mean by that, and we'll talk about this on Wednesday, is that um, is that oftentimes I've seen people that will create their quit plans that will say, um, you know, like, I need to have this much saved up before I can feel secure. I need to get a job that will replace my expenses. They have all of the money. And um, when you look at, um, the actual plan and people like reach it, they'll, they'll get, they'll save the money, they'll find a job that's gonna pay them what they want. They still won't quit because they still have all this fear of like, but what if it's the wrong one? Right? And so it's really important to know your, your numbers is to know what is my quit plan, right?
What is the amount of money that I need to have in order for my family to be safe, right? Nobody is saying that you have to like quit and go, you know, like do irresponsible things and not have an income and you know, whatever. Like nobody is saying that. So what you have to do though is figure out, okay, how much do I need? If I wanna change my career, what are careers that would pay me that? Can I get a job in that while I'm still at my career? Can I decide to try something else and deal with all of my fears even like knowing that I have my expenses covered, knowing that I can get another job? So just having a family and having a grown up life doesn't mean that you can't change. There's tons of people that change their careers with families, with mortgages, with all of the things because they just plan for it, okay?
And so part of that starts with the thought, like if I think I can't have it, if I think it's not available to me because I'm a grownup, then I'm never gonna go after it, right? It simply just requires more planning. And some people who are single want that same planning. They don't feel, they feel unsafe, they don't wanna leave it. So you just have to get really clear of like where is it fear and where is it money? Okay, what if the pros cons of a decision are equal? For example, moving to a less expensive city to save money versus living in a city that has incredible amenities. I ha I value both equally. And it feels really hard to decide between the two. Great question. A lot of times it is equal, equal in the sense that like the pros and cons are like generally maybe there might be a little bit of a tip wave.
And this is exactly what I mean where it's like at a certain point you have to learn how to just gag and go and make a decision and have your own back. You have to know that like saving money, okay? So I'm gonna say two answers. One is that that like you just have to gag and go. You have to decide, you have to give yourself a deadline and decide like either one is going to be great and it's going to be have its cons. And that's, and I just have to decide and go. The other thing that you have to do is learn how to manage your mind. Because what typically happens with us when we have an unmanaged mind is we move and then we focus on all the things of why this place isn't as good. Like we moved to the country so that it's not as expensive and we have more land and then we think about ugh, but all those amenities in the city, but this is so boring, there was so much more culture, right?
And then we wonder why do I regret my decision, right? Well we do the opposite. We move to the city and then we're like ugh. But I just really wish I had a backyard and I really wish there was, there's no parking here. Well of course if I'm constantly looking at what I'm lacking, that's all I'm gonna create in my life and I'm gonna create a lot more paint as opposed to choosing intentionally. I'm gonna move for the next year to the country. I'm gonna move for the next five years of the country and you know what? I'm going to love the out of it. It's not gonna be great. There's gonna be lots of things I don't like about it, but I'm gonna focus my attention intentionally. I'm gonna learn how to manage my mind on the amazingness that I can have in the country.
I'm gonna think about how could this be the best thing for me for my family, whatever. What are the all of the things that I can't have if I live in a city? And then I can also change my mind in five years if I decide, you know what, I actually don't wanna live in the country anymore and I moved to the city. I'm gonna intentionally focus my brain on why are all of these things in the city so amazing. Now I have access to museums and I have all these restaurants and there's, and yes there's crappy parking, but who cares, right? And so when you realize that there is no one answer where you're gonna show up and be like, oh my god, everything is so wonderful. Of course not you want cheaper or you want more amenities that those are your options. You just have to pick one at this point, right?
And you have to stop torturing yourself, ruminating over and over about 'em and then you have to manage your mind around it. Okay? Um, is there a replay things? I took notes but you're fast. I am very fast at talking and this is me like cutting out. I wanna give you guys so much information that I know that's not helpful. I apologize. There is a replay, you'll get a replay and there's a PDF that will go out with the replay that has a lot of the questions I ask that you could just go through it. As a parent, I go in between pursuing my dream of owning a business and taking time away from my kids. Do you recommend any way working through a decision like this? It seems impossible to choose between my kids who mean everything and my dream. Yes, you have to work on the thought that you're choosing between your kids and your dream.
You are not. That is just the thought and you can change that thought and that's, this is the ancillary, like the thing that goes with making a decision. And this is why I think everybody needs to be in the quitter club is like to learn how to manage your mind is because we think that these questions or these these thoughts are just truths. It's just like a truth out in the world that like I either have my children or I have my dream. That's not the truth, it's really not. It's just learning how to manage that thought, right? So one of the things I will just say to you is like um, I mean I have my dream job. I make more than I make as a lawyer and I work less. I have more time with my kids. What if that could be true?
What if you could have your dream and not have to work insane? Like everybody tells you you do. Just because some people say it's a certain way doesn't mean it has to be. But the other thing I will say is like you also have to decide one of the ways you can do this and come up with thoughts is like how could it be the best thing for your kids to go after your dream? I just think about this like your kids don't wanna be the reason that you're bitter and resentful when you're old because you didn't do the things you wanted to do. Our kids don't need all of our time, they need us to be full humans that are happy. And that doesn't mean that like we have to like not care about their needs at all. Obviously not it's a balance, but when we tell ourselves in order to be a good parent, it means I have to give up all my dreams and give all of my time.
That thought is not only gonna get you to give up on your dreams, but it's also gonna create a lot of resentment and anger and bitterness and that's not good for your kids either. So my answer to you is making that decision requires you to learn how to manage the thoughts that you have around that decision. I'm 25 and I wanna start my career in international development. I'm trying to break into a particular industry, but it's proving to be really hard. People keep telling me to just go the corporate route, but it feels so against what I want. I feel like I can't figure out how to even approach the job search and where to spend my time because of the mental back and forth. Yeah. So this is exactly what I mean is that that like learning how to manage that is the best use of your time because when we are spending so much time in mental back and forth, we're not actually doing the work that we need to do.
Okay? We're not actually getting to work, we're not actually trying things, right? So when you're saying like it's proving to be really hard, people are telling me to just go the corporate route because it feels so again, okay, there's so much to manage there. Just because people are telling you to go to the corporate route doesn't mean you have to just because they say it's the easiest way. It is easy. But there's a lot of people on this call and a lot of people in my world and a lot of people in my club who just did the easy quote unquote easy way because people told us it was just easier. And a lot of us are very unhappy. So it's not easier, it's easier in the short term. It could be a lot more difficult in the long term. And so you have to figure out like do I want the short-term gain of not having to deal with this versus the long-term of going after it.
I want, there's also like you are also making kind of this black and white where it's like I either go after this or I go corporate and there's a lot of other options. You could get a corporate job while you're trying to go after this industry. There's so much that you could do on the side. There's so much like if you, you're 25 and let's say you need to get a job to make money, are there other things that you could do to make money? Right? When we stop getting ourselves like, oh this is, these are my only two options and it's black and white and I have to choose one and you know it, it creates a lot. Uh, a false dichotomy. So I think there's a lot of things you can do. Um, I also think that what you have to do is learn how to stop the mental back and forth.
So you have to make it, this is what I mean by the 90 day decision is like if you were to make a decision where it's like, you know what, I'm gonna give myself 90 days to find a way to make a living to keep myself stable while I pursue this international development career. That's my first 90 day goal. Then after I do that, then I give myself 90 days to figure out like on the side, now they have a, maybe I have a part-time job. Now what are the days that I'm gonna spend like figuring out how to get into international development? How am I gonna experiment with it? How are there people that I'm gonna reach out to and network with? Like then you come up with plans of like exploration and experimentation and networking and all that stuff to start breaking into that industry.
I'm good with making small decisions like for example, choosing restaurant for friends, planning vacations. If that goes wrong, I don't beat myself up, but I struggle to make big decisions for the most of it. Like life decisions. Could the points you mentioned for small decisions be applied to bigger decisions? I think I'm overthinking and overanalyzing. Yes, it absolutely it's all the same. That's what I mean is like even these huge decisions. Think about like the example of um, marrying someone, right? That's like a pretty big decision. And for so many of us, like obviously we know the reasons why we wanna marry someone, but like when we think for so many of us, we go into it thinking it is final, it has to be the right decision, right? And how does that turn out for a lot of us? 50% of the time it turns out in divorce and it, I know that's kinda like a morbid thing to, but I just think about like if we didn't lie to ourselves and think that it was final, if we knew in like, hey, I'm gonna go and there's gonna be good and bad and I'm gonna have to work on it and things might change and all I can commit to is the fact that like I'm gonna try my damnedest and I love this person and I wanna be, it would be more honest than what we do where we think like, no, it's a final decision.
It has to be it, it's too hard. And then we create so much unnecessary suffering and pain if in 5, 10, 15, 20 years that chapter closes and we decide which it does for like 50% of us, right? So I say this with like, it's the same exact thing with all these decisions. It's like how do I have my own back? How do I know the reasons why I'm choosing to marry this person or the reasons why I've decided to um, go after this career or the whatever it is? How do I know what those reasons are? How do I make the decision even though I'm scared and then evaluate and pivot from there? It it's small and big decisions all alike. Okay guys, I can do a couple of more. I got a lot but um, I can do like two more cuz we're kind of running over.
I'm considering leaving academia where you do a huge amount of extra unpaid work and a lot of personal sacrifice with the expectation of long-term benefits, promotion, um, publications. I'm struggling with the sunk cost fallacy and also just feel like a chump if I don't stick around long enough to see the benefits of what I've already contributed above and beyond. This is gonna be my answer to every one of you. Learn how to manage your mind. I promise you just join the club because for $197 we are gonna help you with that garbage thought that you're a chump if you don't stick around long enough. Why would you ever wanna even think that about yourself? Could it be that you tried something and it just didn't turn out the way that you thought it was gonna be and now you're not a chump for actually spending the rest of your life finding things that you wanna do.
It's just one other way of looking at it. I say this as someone who, I went through a lot of this when I left the law too. I thought the same thing with the suncast. I put so much time into money. I remember saying that to my husband and he said, you spent 10 years, like I had spent 10 years at that point working and being in law school. He's like, okay, you've wasted 10 years. You wanna waste the next 30 40 doing something you don't love, right? You're constantly looking at the sun cost, but you're not looking at the opportunity cost that you're giving up by deciding, hey, tried it, didn't like it, ready to move on, right? This wasn't for me. Great. Good to know. Now I can take everything I've learned. It's not like you're, you've just left it. Like who I became as in law school has stayed with me.
It has made me who I am. It has changed the way I think. I bring it into everything I do, the friendships I have. That was my lived experience. That was the experience that molded me. I can think it was a waste of time or I can think that chapter's done and I'm telling you, do not hold onto these thoughts. Come and learn how to change 'em. I'm in my first relationship, we're in love, but I'm doubting everything. It's so overwhelming. How do I relax and enjoy the moment and not panic that I'm getting everything I want but still want more? You learn to manage your mind. . I know it's gonna sound like a broken record, but this is what we all do. We have these beautiful things and then we torture ourselves because we get so overwhelmed thinking it should be better. I should be better.
This is final. And we're constantly, what if you just got to trust yourself? What if you just knew that I can slow and enjoy and I might change my mind tomorrow, a week, a month from now? That's okay. I'm allowed to change my mind, but for right now, it's good for right now. I like it. What if that was a just available to you? Just try it on for a day or a week. Just know like, I don't have to make a decision right now and I don't have to think about it every day. I can decide for now. This is good and I'm always allowed to change my mind, ready to quit in a bit of debt. I know I can cover my bills with side gigs, but it'll still be hard. Stay in. Do I stay until I'm above water, very eager to pull the trigger and quit.
I feel like it would light a fire to invest in what I really wanna do. Afraid it could cause more stress. It will be both. Again, we're gonna go back to there is no right answer and for each person it is based on their level of comfort and their risk tolerance, okay? So for some of us, yes, lighting the boats on fire and kind of storming the castle is the way to go because that is the fire we need in order to do the work that we're we're gonna do great. For some of us it's like, yeah, I'll handle that debt, I'll, I'll be able to live with it and create what else I wanna do. For some of us, it will completely immobilize us and we will be frozen and we can't take a step because we're panicked about the debt. So you have to sort of understand what's gonna happen for you, right?
If you can cover your bills with side gigs, right? If you're like, Hey, I have debt, debt, okay, who cares? I ha I can pay it every month. I already know I can do that. Then it's like, okay, what's stopping me? Is it the fear? Right? And I would also know, like for a lot of us, there's always this like worst case scenario. I would just go through and like think about what are the strategies I could put in place if that worst case scenario happens. So like if I'm not covering it with the side gigs, what would I do? Can I borrow money from friends? Can I get another side job? Can I go back to work? Like sometimes the the answer is very simple. It's like, oh, I'll just get another job. Okay, so maybe it's not as big of a risk as I think it is.
Like we, we sort of wanna gauge is it as big of a risk as I thought it was gonna be or you know, and I'm just scared. Or is it like, no, I really need to save some money because otherwise I'm gonna be immobilized. That has to be a decision you make. Um, but I do think that it is one that you can start kind of again, if you go through your numbers and figure out like, no, I can easily cover my debt with my side gigs. Then the question is like, okay then what am I waiting for? I'm so comfortable, especially with the financial security, and I don't hate my day-to-day, but I feel really stagnant and bored and I don't really know what I'd pivot to. Where do I begin and how do I push myself outside of being safe and comfortable? Great, Amy, we're gonna talk about that a little bit more tomorrow.
I'm trying to think of like what we cover tomorrow with the love it. Um, because there's a lot you could do. There's a lot. Like, it's so great that you don't hate your day-to-day because I think that there's a lot that you can do on the side. Like while I'm, I'm super anti against hustle culture and if you're in the club, you know, like I'm constantly talking to people about doing less. One of the beauties of our culture and our time is that you can do things on the side. Like there's never been a time in history where you could build a, a business on the side. It just wasn't possible. Now you can build a business in the morning, 30 minutes and at night, 30 minutes. Like you really could, you could do it online. You don't need capital. There's so many things you can do.
So my suggestion would be to listen to what we do tomorrow and really learn how to love where you're at a little bit more. Like learn how to manage your thoughts around where you are so that you can enjoy it. And then use that spare time to explore. Use that spare time to look at like take classes, um, volunteer, go work somewhere for free that you think you might be interested in. Start looking at other, go to networking events. Talk to people, you know, like there's so many different ways that you can explore. Start setting a plan for that. So it's not gonna just happen. You have to like set like, what are the hours? I'm gonna do this like two days a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays at night, let's say I'm gonna create a plan so that I'm actually like in the next, my next 90 day goal, my next 90 day decision is to explore.
So I'm gonna spend 90 days exploring and figuring out like, can I just be happy where I'm at and do things to feel not bored outside of my job? Can I just love it and love my life outside of it? Do I explore and find something that I actually like? Um, even more outside. Great. Like now I know. So there's a lot you can do exactly where you're at. That's actually one of, I think my main points for a lot of people is like, you can love it and we're gonna talk about this by Thursday. You can love it and leave it. You can learn how to love it and really like, love your life where you're at and still decide like, I'm gonna try something else and go after that. Okay? All right, my friends, thank you so much for joining me. This was super fun.
I hope that it helped you in just understanding that there's nothing wrong with you. These decisions are difficult. These decisions are not easy. These decisions are not black and white and that's okay. That's how it's gonna be and it's gonna be like that all the time. But we have to learn how to make a decision even in those circumstances. We have to learn how to make a decision in that situation so that we're not constantly, um, waiting until someday when the, you know, magical w right decision appears. Um, tomorrow we're gonna work on how you're gonna love it, how you're gonna decide to love it exactly where you're at. And um, Thursday we're gonna learn how to leave it. So I want you to go out and make one unmade decision and then come into the Facebook group and tell me what that decision was.
I want to hear all of the decisions that you're making tonight. Um, you guys can go to the private Facebook group and join and I hope to see you guys there. All right, my friends, I'll see you tomorrow. Hey, if you are looking for more in-depth help with your career, whether that's dealing with all of the stress, worry, and anxiety that's leading to burnout in your current career or figuring out what your dream career is and actually going after it, I want you to join me in the Quitter Club. It is where we quit what is no longer working like perfectionism, people pleasing imposter syndrome, and we start working on what does and we start taking action towards the career and the life that you actually want. We will take the concepts that we talk about on the podcast and apply them to your life and you will get the coaching tools and support that you need to actually make some real change. So go to lessons from a club and get on the wait list. Doors are closed right now, but they will be open soon.