Wanting to challenge myself and put myself in situations that I would have been so afraid of before and it's not that I'm not afraid now, I am but I can manage my mind and still do it and know that at the end, I'm going to have my own back and I'm not going to kick myself and criticize myself.

Hey, welcome to Lessons From a Quitter where we believe that it is never too late to start over. No matter how much time or energy you spent getting to where you are, if ultimately you are unfulfilled, then it is time to get out. Join me each week for both inspiration and actionable tips so that we can get you on the road to your dreams.

Hello, my friends. Welcome to another episode. I am so excited you are here. Before we jump in, I just wanted to remind you that next week, November 3rd, is the free class. Listen, if you don't know why you're so unhappy, if you don't know where you want to go, if you don't know how to get there, if you're stuck and you're like eh, I don't want to be in this career but I don't know what else to do, I want you to come to this class, it's called Bridging the Gap. And I'm going to teach you the three simple steps that you need to go from where you are to where you want to be and what you need to focus on. And I think it's really important for you to figure out which step you're on, what you need to focus on right now, instead of worrying about everything and getting overwhelmed and then not doing anything at all. You can sign up at quitterclub.com/gap and come join us on November 3rd. And yes, I will send out a replay to anybody that signs up so if you can't make the date or time, you'll get that class uh in your inbox and so you can watch it on your own time. I hope to see you there, it'll be super fun. I am so excited about today's episode. I have one of my students who was in the last round of my six-month program and her story is just so incredible I had to share it with you guys. I was talking to her and we were, I was going to have her, you know, film a short video that I put on social media. And I was like no, this is just so good. We have to do a podcast episode. So I'm so excited to have Christina on the podcast to talk about her journey and like how she started, why, you know, where she found the program and really what's happened ever since she started using these tools. And I really wanted her on because I want, because she's an example of what is possible. I love watching when like people really take the tools and apply them to their lives and the amount of peace and joy and happiness that can come from really putting down all of the suffering that we create in our own minds and really getting out of our own ways. And it's so amazing to watch because when you see that a lot of the circumstances like her job or whatnot don't change that much and yet you come out a different person and you approach your life in a different way. And she's gone on to do so many amazing things. It's so funny, after this interview, after we ended it, we were talking and she kept telling me more and more things that she's doing and all of these like changes. And I was like oh, we should've kept recording. Cause it's just like nonstop. And that's really why I'm so adamant about learning to manage your mind is because it's the ripple effect in every area of your life. And I really, as you listen to this, I want you to really see that like even if you're struggling, even if you're in a place where you feel like I don't know what the thing is, I don't know how to stop this. I just feel terrible all the time. I want you to know that it's possible to feel different. It's possible to learn how to start dealing with that lie in your brain like that liar that's constantly telling you thoughts that don't help. So I'll stop rambling cause I think that Christina's journey and her story is so powerful. And I hope that you see that it is also possible for you. So without further ado, here's Christina.

Thank you for having me.

Oh, it is my pleasure. I am so excited to have you and to share your story because I know it's going to inspire so many people. So why don't we start a little bit back at the beginning and why don't you tell me like either how you found me or the group and what you were kind of going through before you decided to join the group program.

2020 was a rough year for me, as I'm sure it was for a lot of people. I lost my dad to COVID and um work wasn't going very well. Everything I was going through, my personal life was really affecting me at work and looking back, I can see a lot of my behavior that was caused by my feelings. I was going through a lot of anxiety. I felt lost, confused. I was grieving. I was going through a lot. And then one day I was just scrolling through Tik Tok, like I would do just to get my mind off of things. I was just scrolling and I think I ran into one of your videos and I don't remember exactly which one it was or what you said but I remember that it really resonated with me and I immediately looked you up and, you know, saw your website. And it took me to your podcast. I started listening to all of your podcasts and everything you were saying was just making a lot of sense. I knew I needed to do something and I had tried different types of therapy, which helped but my anxiety would always just come back. After awhile it would just keep coming back. The first thing I saw is that you were having, in January, you were having a goal setting workshop. So I said okay, let's start with that. I can certainly sign up for that and let's see what happens. And and that's how it all started. It was from Tik Tok, one day I was just bored.

Ah the power of Tik Tok. I feel like it's so crazy to me that people have found me from there. And then, you know, the fact that we've gotten to work together, that's amazing. So we did the goal setting workshop and then after that offered kind of the six month group program and I'm just wondering like what were you looking to get out of it? What was it, you know, what were you thinking? Like I'm going to join this program and hopefully like best case scenario what what do I get out of this?

The main thing that I wanted was to get a handle on my anxiety. It was, I mean, off the charts. I was, I started taking medication which did help me. It made me realize that I needed something more than just, you know, me trying to do it on my own. And I just decided that I was going to give it a try and I didn't know what would come out of it and I wanted to stop at one point, taking the medication and I needed to do something or I would, you know, I would've stayed on that medication for a long time and I just didn't want to do that. I mean, it's great. I think nothing against medicine. When we need it, it's great to take but there's a lot of side effects that come with taking anxiety medication. So I knew I wanted to stop that. I knew that I wasn't very happy at work and I just wanted to start exploring things and just, I just wanted to try something new. I was going through a lot and I needed like I needed something. And I heard you were having that six month program and after taking your goal setting workshop, which I learned so much, I just knew I have to do this. And I immediately signed up for it.

Did you have any doubts at the time? I think a lot of times like we are hoping for the best but then there's the part of the brain that's like well, this is, you know, an investment. Is this really gonna work for me? What if it doesn't? Were you thinking any of that stuff before you started?

I did think about it but I just had no other choice. I had to try. There was nothing else. I knew I had to get something out of it. Something, I didn't know what but I knew I would learn something.

I don't think you say that actually. I, I mean, but I've done a ton of programs and I I've developed this mindset through going through so many but I always say this, like when I whenever I get any program, I always think like I just I'm going to get one thing out of this. I don't know what it is but I'm coming here to get something and I'm going to get it. And I swear having that mindset helps me go in and get the thing I need, whatever it is. And a lot of times like I leave a little bit of room for the unknown and a little magic and some, you know, programs blow my mind and some don't but I always feel like I got what I came for because I came not because I think like this is gonna, you know, fix every single thing in my life and it's going to be this magic pill but it's something like there's something I can learn here and it's going to change one thought or one thing in my life and that's going to change the trajectory. So like it's worth it. So I love that you had like I'm just I'm going to get. I need something, I don't know what it is but I need it. Okay, so you joined the program. Tell us a little bit about your experience. One, like did you, I guess I'll start with like were you nervous at all about like it being a group program and being with other people?

Um no, I wasn't nervous. I really like talking with people. I know that's one of, I think that's the best part of my job, that I get to talk to different groups of people. I was nervous, you know, I'm speaking in front of big groups is something that I do struggle with. I do think I'm getting better at it. And the fact that I knew it would be a big group, I kind of liked it because it would force me to get out there and and speak up and, you know, it wouldn't just be me and a couple of more people.

Yeah, oh my God. I love, first of all, I love that attitude when it's like take on your fears head on. That's pretty amazing. Yeah. I mean, will you tell everyone kind of when the first time you did ask a question, what you kind of told all of us in the group?

I don't remember why I said what I said, it just came out of my mind. I just told you guys how I was feeling at the time. I told, like I opened up with I am really nervous, my hands are sweating. And I've learned this throughout, you know, all these months that when you're ashamed or embarrassed or, you know, you don't want people to see something or know something about you, it makes things worse like it makes you feel worse. If you're just open about it and you just let people know hey, I'm going through this or I'm feeling like this, it kind of takes away that shame and that embarrassment because you just told everybody. And so who cares.

Totally. Oh my God, I cannot tell you how much I agree with that. And I've talked about it on the podcast but we all like try to act like we're perfect and nobody wants perfect. And the minute you can just be real and really honest about like we're all just a mess behind the scenes. Our brains are a mess and most of us have all these feelings. And what's funny is the minute you did that, it completely disarmed everybody on the call. And it was like such a cool moment on the coaching call because I think it connected everybody, not only to you, but to each other because everybody started saying like oh my gosh, me too. I feel the same way. I'm already having a heart attack and I haven't even talked. You know, like I'm sweating. And it was such a cool moment to really understand like we really are all the same and we all feel the same. And so there's no need to try to act like you have it together. You know, especially obviously in that setting because the whole point is to come and be vulnerable. But I think you just modeled that so well like on that first call of just saying like you know, I want to get help but I feel very nervous right now and I'm sweating and I don't know how this is going to sound. And I think that not only did that help everybody else but it also helped you be able to show up and get the things you need because you were able to like just say it. Say it out loud like hey, I want this coaching and I'm scared so I just want you to know that.

Honestly, I remember that the first time was the only time I felt so nervous. After that I was speaking without even thinking about it. I think a few times I was the first one to go get coached in front of everyone, which you know, it is, I mean, you're you're putting your feelings out there for everyone to to hear. And then hear you get coached and yeah, they get to see your weaknesses. And it was a very, very awesome group of people. I mean, I feel very comfortable after that first time after that, it was it was like nothing.

Yeah, I love that. So amazing. So what else was your experience like? I would say like what do you, you know, what's your take on the program or what you learned from it and how it sort of helped you through the things that you were struggling with?

I can honestly say, well one, I got off of my um anxiety medication which I'm so happy about that. I'm just much happier in my life. My situation hasn't changed very much. I'm still in the same job but I'm much happier. I'm much happier there. I still want to explore to see, you know, what other skills I can learn. And I think the biggest thing is that my anxiety has gone down a lot. And I can say, now that I know how to manage my mind like I know how to do this and no matter what happens, I know exactly how to uncover the thoughts. I I do a lot of journaling. I think that's been the biggest um tool for me to really put down my thoughts on paper. Um I have, we all have a lot of thoughts going through our head during the day and we get confused. And for me, it works to write it down, put it down on paper. I start with my feelings like if I'm feeling a certain way, I'm having a certain emotion. I start with that. And then I write down well, what are the thoughts that could be giving me this this emotion? And once I start uncovering my thoughts, then I I get to examine that thought and see whether I want to keep it or not. Is it serving me? Is it really something that I want to keep thinking? And I learned to change it like now I know to change my thoughts and then my feelings change.

Isn’t that so crazy. It's like how are we never taught this before? You know? And you're like wait, I just suffered through all those years of like thinking that I just had to keep these thoughts. And I never knew that I can just redirect my mind or pick another thought that serves me better. It's so wild.

It's amazing. And knowing that I can try different things. I can, you know, I'm going to be afraid but I can still try it. And at the end of the day, whatever happens, I can control my feelings.

Yes. Oh my God. I love that. Speaking of, so this is the funniest. I mean, just seeing your transformation has been so amazing but so you started out as like the person saying they're the most nervous to speak in the group. And then what did you tell us what you signed up for when you were during the program?

One of the things I signed up for is an improv class. I am taking an improv class. Never in my life would have imagined. And I don't even know how it came about. I think it's me just wanting to challenge myself and put myself in situations that I would have been so afraid of before. And it's not that I'm not afraid now, I am but I can manage my mind and still do it and know that at the end I'm going to have my own back and I'm not gonna, you know, kick myself and criticize myself. And so I'm taking this improv class every Monday. I go through so much every single Monday. Um but I love it. I have so much fun. It's kinda like another group of people where I get to just be vulnerable. Be myself, be goofy and be imperfect because that's when it's funny, it's when you you're not perfect. And yeah, October 18th is my showcase and I'm going to invite my friends to come see me.

I mean, this is mind blowing like I'm so proud of you because I think about, you know, I'm a pretty outgoing person and I feel like I would have such a hard time like with improv like it's such a big thing to put yourself out there and I'm so proud of you for the way that you are approaching this. And it's so funny because I feel like obviously, I'm the person that helps people quit their jobs or do that. And yeah, I want people to like have careers that they love but I swear for me, that's such a small part. I don't actually even care if you quit or not because the whole point of this is like learning to manage your mind so that you can fully show up for your life and do all of these amaz-, just experience it, right? Like what are ways where I can have hobbies and have fun again and put myself in communities that I wouldn't have done and stop all of the negative self-talk that comes with like oh, you're too old to do this or you're going to look silly or people are, or whatever it is like yeah, maybe all those things are true or maybe like it is whatever it is but I still want to experience it. And so like the fact that you are really not only facing your fears but putting yourself out there, finding things that are fun and letting yourself do it is like such an amazing thing. And I hope you're proud of yourself because it is, it isn't easy. It's, there's a lot of fear and it's easier to just be like eh forget it, I'm going to come home on a Monday night and I'm gonna sit and watch Netflix. And so to say like I'm going to push myself to grow. I want to push myself to get on that stage and do something that freaks me out. Even if it's not something I want to do, you know, for my career is a pretty cool thing to do.

Thank you. It, I am very critical of myself. I've always been like that. I didn't think I was doing a lot of like extraordinary things until I started to really think about it. I actually think about it when I journal. So I don't journal all the time but I journal when I feel the need to. And so it's not until I journal and I start writing things down that I'm like oh yeah, I did do this. Well that's okay, that's good. What's next? And my mind is constantly thinking of, I have to carry my journal with me during the day because I have so much thought, I have a lot of thoughts of ideas. I want to try this. I want to do that. Oh, what if I go into this? So one of the things that I'm going to start with, um as I'm, you know, I'm finishing my improv class, I think I took what I wanted from it. Maybe one day I'll go to onto um session two or whatever, level two, maybe one day. But right now I'm very interested in real estate. And so I actually joined a 10 week boot camp for real estate rookies. So I can start, you know, learning how to invest in real estate.

I love that so much. This is, I mean, like I, I mean, I'm sure, cause you listened to the podcast. Like what I preach all the time is that like I don't know. Did you feel like this before you joined the program or not, but we all have so many interests and so many possibilities, right? There's so many different avenues our lives could take. There's so many things we could do at the same time. You know, there's so many things that if we allow ourselves, there's so many like different paths. And I think that we just tend to shut it down before it ever even gets to our conscious mind. We're like yeah, that's silly. And one of my favorite things with managing your mind and mindset work and what it gave me is this really realization that there's so many things I could do. And I feel the same way. I have to constantly write down my ideas because I have so many, there's so many things I want to try. And I used to be the person who literally thought I had no interests and/or other skills after the law. Right. I was like well, there's nothing else for me to do. And now I'm like that's so absurd. You know, like if I stopped doing this podcast and this community tomorrow, I would have 10 different avenues I would want to pursue, you know? And so I wonder for you, like did you, have you always had a ton of ideas that you wanted to pursue or do you find this is something newer that's coming up for you?

No, this is something completely new. I think one of the things that had me so so unhappy with my life was that I was going through a hard time at work. And I’ve always known, I love being an accountant. I'm an accountant and I've always loved accounting. Like I knew that was so weird about me but I just loved it. And suddenly, because of everything that I was going through, I didn't love it anymore. And when I realized I didn't love it anymore, I thought oh my God, my whole life like this has been it like this has, I knew that I was in the right place. And now I'm saying I don't like it? Like what is this? And I had no idea. I didn't know what else I would do. I've always seen myself as an accountant. And I thought I feel so sad because I thought what happened in me? Why did I stop liking it? And now after taking your program and goal setting, now I have goals in my life which I think has helped me at work. And I'm happy again because now I feel like I have something of my own, a goal of my own. Things that I want to do for myself. I know where I'm going. I know the kind of life I want to live. I know where I want to be when I turn 50, you know. I was just living day to day. I was just going through life and things happen in life where everything could be okay and then suddenly, you know, life hits you really fast and it completely derails you but it's important to find a way to get out of it.

Yeah and how long have you been an accountant?

10 years for the same company.

Wow, that's amazing. You know, obviously I talk a lot about like seasons and I think it's okay to even, you know, I think for a lot of us, our identity gets very wrapped up in what we do and we think something has gone wrong when like we want something different or we want to change or we're not as happy anymore. And it could just be like that chapter is kind of over, not that like your chapter as an accountant is over, but okay. You know, for a long time I found a lot of joy and maybe it was, there was more growth at the time, I was learning more and then it's okay that that's done. And now it's like what you're saying like what's the next goal? What's the next iteration? What's the thing I can add on into that? And I love your story because I think a lot of people can't quit right now, right? Like financially they have to stay at the job that they're at or they're going to stay for a certain amount of time or maybe they're close to retirement or whatever the reason is that you want to stay. I think that obviously like with the name Lessons From a Quitter, I realize that it might give the wrong connotation that you have to quit. But I think part of this is like how do you live the most full life? Even if your instinct, right? Like you were saying, it's like you know, you're going through the motions, right? How do we stop that autopilot that tends to happen when we're doing the same thing all the time, where it's like everyday it looks the same, even, you know, where where we get in this place where we are unfulfilled and restless and and yet we don't know how to get out of it. And I think really figuring out like how do you manage your mind so that you think like okay, either I keep this job or I don't. What's the next thing? What's the thing I'm going to focus on? How do I make myself happy exactly where I am?

It really helped me see, you know, how I was showing up at work because at first, you know, I thought it's not me. I'm perfect. It is not me. Um but yeah, I can see back, looking back, I can take ownership of some of my actions and I just, you know, I just feel a lot happier. I enjoy every day of my life now. I can honestly say that I enjoy it.

And do you find that that I'm assuming that that has to bleed over into like other, your relationships and things that you do, you know, not even in your own goals and stuff but like with your family?

Oh yeah, definitely with my mom. I'm an only child, so me and my mom are very close and you know, I love spending time with her but it can be a lot sometimes. But now I can be more patient with her. I know that what she says, it's not true. Like it's it's what she thinks. It's what she feels like it's not true. Just let her think what she wants to think. Let her get it out. And I don't have to engage and we don't get into arguments like we used to. Like in the car driving somewhere, we used to get into these arguments and now we don't. With my husband too, it's easier for me to stop an argument before it even starts because I can kind of see like I understand the brain more and I understand if emotions and I can think okay, well what could, what is he thinking? Let's let's try to uncover. With my husband, I do it all the time, is try to uncover those thoughts. Why is he behaving this way? So I just start asking questions.

I love that. You're his life coach.

I am, he doesn't know it.

We'll keep that between us.

And my friends too. I um I recently took a my first girls trip with my friends. They go every year and my anxiety never ever allowed me to go. I was so full of anxiety to go on a trip, on a girl's trip with friends that I've known for a decade and I couldn't go. And so we went to St. Thomas.

That’s amazing!

Went to St. Thomas and we're planning one next year. And it's something that we're going to just continue the tradition now.

I love that so much. Did you feel when you went on this trip like did you still have anxiety and you had to manage your mind around it or were you like no, I feel, I don't even have anxiety.

Before the trip, as it started getting closer and closer, I was managing my mind a lot. But then once I was there, you know, everything was fine. I didn't even think about it as I was having so much fun. It, my friends are the best. They're just so, they're so patient with me too.
That's so wonderful. I'm sure that you were such a good friend that they, I mean, honestly, this just comes across so much like you're an amazing human. And I think that you're like a poster child for managing your mind because I think that it's like I mean, when you see it, and obviously I talk about all the time with myself and I feel like people might now not resonate or it might be like well, you know, I don't know Goli is just like this or something but I love like the reason I want to scream about this from like every mountaintop is because it's not one thing, right? It's like how you do one thing is how you do everything. And I think if your mind is really fixated on things that cause you anxiety and worry and overwhelm and confusion, that shows up in every aspect of your life. You know, from a girl's trip, to work, to your relationship with your par- your mother or your, whatever it is. And it's the same, you know, the other way, like that's why for me, I think managing my mind is like most important no matter what I do. My husband the other day was making a joke about how much I work. And he was like you only worked 30 hours a week and 20 hours of it is spent managing your mind. I'm like you're not wrong. You're not wrong. I spend so much time managing my mind because I know the rest of it will get done once I like can get out of my own like head. I can, you know, hammer out whatever I need to do. It's just all of the other baggage. And I love seeing, you know, somebody that really takes it, takes the work and applies it and starts applying it all the time, in everywhere. And you start seeing the ripple effects. And the funny thing is is that you will see like you start becoming an example to other people. So like the ripple effect like whether you're actually life coaching your husband or not, it's like he will start seeing you managing your emotions and not getting overly upset and being able to talk yourself down and being able to redirect your mind. And like that starts having an effect on him doing the same thing. You know, it has an effect on your friends. They start seeing like okay, maybe I don't have to get this upset about something like this. Maybe I can just let it go or whatnot. And so it's really truly life-changing. So I'm so glad that you're seeing these results.

Yeah, thank you. It has. It's completely changed me. I think accepting myself the way that I am was yeah, definitely one of the biggest changes.

That’s so amazing because they think like I look back and I'm so, you know, I mean, I don't spend the time being mad or upset but I just think like I spent so many years hating myself for what? You know, like what did I ever get from that? And I look back and I look at it now and I'm like it's such a pleasure. And it's such a beautiful thing to realize like the rest of my life like I can have my own back and I can actually love myself and I can be the person that I've needed for, you know, so long. And so I love that that's what you're seeing as like the biggest change.

Yeah, yep. I can't wait to see what happens next. Where, yeah, where I'll be in a year. It's yeah, I'm super excited.

I am too. I'm so excited for you and I mean, I know when we ended the program, you were thinking about kind of dabbling in other things and then you found this real estate and now and you've just been so excited when you've been talking about it and I can't wait to see what you do with all of it. And you know, it's like even from here, there's like so many of the things that can come up that, you know, you don't even know is out there. And it's just so exciting to think of all the possibilities.

Yeah, yeah. Definitely gonna challenge myself and continue doing that to continue to grow. I will no longer just stay complacent and in the same place because I was really trying to just protect myself from what I thought was failure. And now I know there is no failure. I tell myself that every day. There's no failure. You just do life. It's life and you do it.

Oh my God, you are my A+ star student, Christina. I love this so much. I'm going to put that on like a pillow. There is no failure. It's just life. You do it. So good.

Yeah, I coach myself every day.

Well, this has been super helpful and wonderful for me to hear. I'm sure it has been so inspiring for other people. Do you have any parting words for people who are kind of where you were last year and are maybe considering the program but don't know if it's for them? Just, I don't know, any advice?

I would say do it, just take the program. Try different things and do it even if you're afraid. We all are afraid, that's what I realize. We all feel the same way. You're not alone in it. There's a way out.

I love that. That's the best advice. Christina, thank you so, so much for taking your time to come chat with me. It has been an honor to work with you and such a pleasure to hear about your journey. And I can't wait to have you back in a year and see all of the amazing things I know you're going to do.

Thank you so much for helping me get my life together.

How amazing was that? I mean, she is mind blowing and I'm telling you, as soon as we stopped recording, she told me like three more things about how she is like coaching her coworkers, who almost, one of her coworkers who almost got fired and now like her coworker’s thriving because she started realizing that it was just her thoughts that were making her nervous every time her manager came by. And so then she was messing up and once she calmed herself down, I mean, it was so amazing to see really the ripple effects. If you feel kind of moved by this and you realize that things can be different and that you don't have to suffer all the time and that you can really start taking control of your life and doing the things you want to do and finding more joy and putting yourself out there, all of the stuff, I would love to have you in the next round of my program. We're not going to start until January, but the doors will open next week. And it opens to the wait list first. And it's small group because I love to have like that really close interaction where I can help you along. So if you think that this is something that can help you, I want you to get on the wait list at quitterclub.com/group. And I'll send out all the information next week about the program and if you feel called to do it, I would love to have you in the group. So go to quitterclub.com/group, get on the wait list. And I hope to see you there.

Thank you so much for listening. If you liked this episode, share it with someone else. I promise you know somebody who also hates their job and wants to quit, so why not share the love? And if you want to come follow along for more, come join me on Instagram at LessonsFromAQuitter and make sure you say hi. I'll see you next week for another episode.